Lovely and sunny Friday
14 March 2003, 10:11 AM
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An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked
himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of
his life...until the boat sank!
The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no
other people, no supplies...nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the
most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him.
In disbelief he asks her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here
when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up
with you."
"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material
that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches;
I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from
a Eucalyptus tree."
"But-but, that's impossible," stutters the man. "You had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of
the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.
I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted
into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to
make the hardware.
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place" she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before
him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and
white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp
rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb-struck.
As they walk into the house, her beautiful breasts bouncing with each step,
she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please;
would you like to have a drink?"
"No thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a
Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to
slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and
shave?
There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed
to a hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end, inside of a swivel
mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses.
"What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and a shell
necklace-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've
been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. I've been lonely.
There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right about now,
something you've been longing for all these months? You know..."
She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing. His heart begins to pound. He's
truly in luck: "You mean...", he gasps, "...I can actually check my e-mail
from here ???"
himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of
his life...until the boat sank!
The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no
other people, no supplies...nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the
most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him.
In disbelief he asks her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here
when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up
with you."
"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material
that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches;
I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from
a Eucalyptus tree."
"But-but, that's impossible," stutters the man. "You had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of
the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.
I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted
into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to
make the hardware.
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place" she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before
him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and
white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp
rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb-struck.
As they walk into the house, her beautiful breasts bouncing with each step,
she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please;
would you like to have a drink?"
"No thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a
Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to
slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and
shave?
There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed
to a hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end, inside of a swivel
mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses.
"What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and a shell
necklace-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've
been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. I've been lonely.
There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right about now,
something you've been longing for all these months? You know..."
She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing. His heart begins to pound. He's
truly in luck: "You mean...", he gasps, "...I can actually check my e-mail
from here ???"
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