robski

> A pre-med student from the University of Arizona was looking to score
> big with his date on a Friday night. Determined to put the girl in the
mood, he drove her up to a spot on Mount Lemmon which overlooked the city of
Tucson. They walked to an open knoll where they could see the city lights.
Overcome by the romantic locale, she succumbed to his pleas and they
stripped down, made a bed of their clothes, and passionately began making
love. The heavy storm clouds rolling overhead and the low rumble of thunder
inside them excited the lovers even more. At the first few flashes of
lightning, they
never looked up to see the charred remains of once great trees. Their
idyllic clearing was a hotbed of electrical activity during the warm desert
nights. With a blinding light, a bolt of lightning struck the high point on
the knoll, which happened to be the pre-med student's ***, and sought the
path of least
resistance --- straight down! Incredibly, he survived, but was in
excruciating pain. The heat of the lightning had fused together flesh and latex so that the lovers were now stuck together like a pair of dogs. The
girl, unfortunately, did NOT survive the lightning strike! When the student
looked down into the vacant eyes of his girlfriend and realized she was
dead, his immediate repulsion caused him to jerk away from her, which of
course, he couldn't! A wave of
pain and nausea made him vomit into the girl's face and open mouth! Heaving
only caused more pain and repeated vomiting until he finally passed out.
Attracted by the smell of "food," a bear found its way to the Siamese
lovers and began to lick semi-digested pizza and buffalo wings from the dead
girl's face. The student came to, but when he saw the bear, there was little
he could do but lay there silently in fear. To his horror, the bear became
dissatisfied with just a lick and started to eat the girl, loudly crunching
her facial bones only inches from his ear. The bear also tasted the student,
scraping the back of his skull with its teeth, before moving on.
Around mid-morning a group of junior girl scouts, up for a fun weekend
camp-out, arrived at the campsite where the pre-med student's car was
parked. It was only a matter of minutes before three screaming girls
discovered the student, who had regained consciousness several times in the
night and had managed to drag himself and the partially-eaten girl about
20-feet. Doctors managed to "successfully" separate the student from the
corpse, but Mr. Happy looked like a small piece of cauliflower in its flaccid state. The first hint of arousal resulted in so much pain, that the student
was unable---and unwilling---to achieve an erection. Future surgeries may
produce a reasonably functioning *****, but the student's family jewels,
referred to by the doctors as the "******* mass," are irreparable.
Although most Darwin Awards are supposed to be won posthumously, we think
this guy deserves consideration since he successfully removed himself from
the gene pool.