iain atkins

Just wondering if i can get some useful advice from some of you.

I had been seeing a girl recently and suddenly she ended it.

I have since found out that my ex, ex-girlfriend has been spreading lies about me around the two villages here.

I originally met #1 in 1998 and we were on and off for nearly two years. I did eveything i could to help her, loaned her money (foolish i know) took her away etc. But she started to get a little bit twisted and really stung me big time and she finished it with me in May 2000.

Met #2 in June 2000 and all was perfect, but #1 was trying to break us up throughout the relationship (which was two years). Me and #2 split amicably (and are actually now really good friends)

Met #3 a few months after #2 and started seeing her properly in September. #1 has in the meantime been spreading vicious rumours about me to #3's parents [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img][img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img], and #3 has now split with me. I have told #3 that it is all lies (which it is), but she isn't talking to be now

Anyone know where i stand with getting #1 to stop this. Can i go to the police, or would citizens advice be better?

Scooby Snacks

You could, but I don't think it would get you anywhere.
I guess you could sue her for libel.
Alternatively, I know someone who owns a shotgun and is currently skint????

iain atkins

Cheers SS, it's a real difficult one this.

If i could just get the police to make their presence known it might make her stop

davyboy

Can you not spread your wings a little further from these 2 villages?

Mice_Elf

There are various forms of defammation of character - slander and libel being the two I can remember. Slander needs to be spoken whereas libel is written down.

You need proof that this girl is slandering you - witnesses /answerphone messages - that sort of thing. Best advice may be to go to a solicitor for their free 30 minute consultation.

Not sure that the CAB can help in this situation.

However...what you also have to ask yourself, is if this girl believed 2nd / 3rd hand rumours about you without bothering to consult you first, was she really worth being with?

iain atkins

Oh yeah i know what you mean,

#2 was not from round here, but it still didn't stop #1 from trying to break us up all the time with stupid fecking rumours.

iain atkins

#3 did consult me about it when it first happend, and we laughed thinking how pathetic it was.

But i heard from #2 (who is a really good friend of mine now) that #1 has been doing it again in the last two weeks (about the time #3 split with me)

Mice_Elf

Thought about confronting 1 and asking her what her problem is?

A well written letter with "WITHOUT PREJUDICE" along the top detailing what you have heard, with independant witnesses etc and offering her the chance to defend what she may / may not have said (you don't know for certain that she is doing this, only via 2nd hand) and if not, you will pursue the matter, may be in order here.

MarkO

Couple of things occur to me.

1. If #3 is prepared to believe #1's lies over and above your version of events, then she's not the kind of person you want to be with. Find somebody who trusts you, and not an ex-gf bunny boiler of yours.

2. You need to meet some girls with real names.

iain atkins

LOL @ Mark re: names #1 was telling #3's mother all this crap, so i guess #3's mum talked to #3.

iain atkins

If i confront 1 she will deny everything, she will lie through her teeth (have seen her do it plenty of times before)

Avril

Might be worth getting #1, #2, #3 in the same room and then seeing what #1 has to say for herself.

Good luck mate.

Mark Miwurdz

Agree with the principle behind this but if you really want to stay with #3, get #2 to put #3 and her parents straight.

Best of luck mate.
Cheers
Kav

Shy Muppet

Hi Iain

God, #1 is a right cow! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] After all that this moo has done to you! B*tch!

By the sounds of it, she's jealous and she's got you hooked into one of her small-minded games. She can't bear that fact that you are now over her and are wanting to start afresh with someone new. She probably hates the the fact that you now longer think about her and she wants to continually remind you that she's still around. What is her problem? I think that she's got a few marbles rolling around in her head!

A good slap should help! (only kidding!)

Brendan Hughes

I think defamation is the wrong way to go. The idea in the law's eyes is to put you back in the situation you were in before the defamation - not with #1 (!) but economically, financially. Technically you'd get the appropriate amount of money and a published apology, but in real life, unless she's rolling in it, it's not really designed for your situation. And how much do you want to pay a lawyer? It, or the threat of it, might well work, but it seems a bit odd.

I don't know if there is some sort of family law or public order law that is more applicable - restraining orders or some such.

Sorry to be negative. CAB?

BJH

Mice_Elf

Rising above it may be the way to go...I realise it's affecting people with whom you wish to build a relationship, but true friends won't be swayed - after all #2 is still friends with you.

Maybe #3 was just looking for an out and it was convenient to "believe" the rumours...?

#1 certainly needs to stop slandering you, if that is what she is doing. Playing devil's advocate here, I don't know you at all, or the situation, but is what she saying the truth?

super_si

Bone #1

MarkO

Or #3's mother.

marty_t3

Iain,

The same thing happened to a friend of mine. He's a decent guy whose been out with a few close friends of mine who don't have a bad word to say about him. He is a really genuine nice guy.

Some evil witch ex of his started spreading rumours about him beating her up and pushing her down stairs and all sorts. It was also in a pretty close knit community so when other friends of his started hearing these rumours they were cleared up quite quickly. The witch is now barred from a few pubs, nobody speaks to her, and she hasn't got a hope in hell of getting another boyfriend within a 10 mile radius. Took about 6 months but it all got sorted in the end. He's still well thought off and she's an evil cow.

A bit of time and it'll sort itself out. Good luck.

super_si

no marko, Mother and Daughter combo with #3

iain atkins

Right,

Been to police & CAB.

Police said that if i want they can open a case and log the matters as they occur etc. Then if they have enough they can pay her a little visit.

CAB said the same as Brandon, deformation.

Mice - agree with the 3 comment, may well have been conveient to believe to get out etc.

And all the rumours are totally false.

1 is known as a bit of a nutter (wish i had known this), and is generally not liked.

Shy - The one your thinking of is no2 (shes been really good) who is trying to help quash these rumours.

Damn it....it's like a storyline from frickin Eastenders lol

Shy Muppet

Oops, sorry Iain. Hope I didn't cause any offence

I've had a bad day today and to be honest I'm not quite with it.

iain atkins

that's OK sweetie, no offence taken.

How comes u had a bad day then?

Shy Muppet

I've had a bad day since I woke up this morning. Can't put my finger on anything specific

iain atkins

((((shy))))