Joke (Yes its old but still funny)
13 November 2002, 01:21 PM
#1
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A girl walks in to a supermarket and buys the
following items:
1 Bar of Soap
1 Toothbrush
1 Tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 apple
1 banana
1 orange
1 plum
1 grapefruit
1 tomato
1 lettuce
1 cabbage
1 baking potato
1 kraft single
1 samosa
1 vegetable pakora
1 muesli bar
1 pie
1 frozen pizza
1 single frozen dinner
The bloke behind her in the queue taps her on the shoulder. He is carrying a
basket with a six pack of stella, a pizza and some Wagon Wheels.
As she turns he smiles at her and says,
"Single, eh?"
The girl smiles sheepishly and replies
"How did you guess?"
He looks at her - straight in the eyes and says
"Because you're a minger"
following items:
1 Bar of Soap
1 Toothbrush
1 Tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 apple
1 banana
1 orange
1 plum
1 grapefruit
1 tomato
1 lettuce
1 cabbage
1 baking potato
1 kraft single
1 samosa
1 vegetable pakora
1 muesli bar
1 pie
1 frozen pizza
1 single frozen dinner
The bloke behind her in the queue taps her on the shoulder. He is carrying a
basket with a six pack of stella, a pizza and some Wagon Wheels.
As she turns he smiles at her and says,
"Single, eh?"
The girl smiles sheepishly and replies
"How did you guess?"
He looks at her - straight in the eyes and says
"Because you're a minger"
13 November 2002, 01:59 PM
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How much would sir like to stake on that?
<phones building society to see how much money i could raise quickly as a second mortgage to put on the table..>
<phones building society to see how much money i could raise quickly as a second mortgage to put on the table..>
13 November 2002, 02:27 PM
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Ok. Also not new, but haven't seen it on SN AFAIK....
A train hits a busload of Essex schoolgirls and they all perish.
They are all in Heaven trying to enter the Pearly Gates past St.Peter.
Peter asks the first girl (from Southend), "Karen, have you ever had any contact with a man's thing?" She giggles and replies "Well, i once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger". St Peter says "Ok, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the Gate".
St Peter asks the next girl (from Chelmsford) the same question, "Joanne, have you ever had any contact with a man's thing?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies "Well i once fondled and stroked one". St Peter says "Ok, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the Gate".
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, and the girl from Romford is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line, St peter says
"Tracy, what seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies;
"If i'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water...I want to do it before Lorraine sticks her **** in it!!"
A train hits a busload of Essex schoolgirls and they all perish.
They are all in Heaven trying to enter the Pearly Gates past St.Peter.
Peter asks the first girl (from Southend), "Karen, have you ever had any contact with a man's thing?" She giggles and replies "Well, i once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger". St Peter says "Ok, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the Gate".
St Peter asks the next girl (from Chelmsford) the same question, "Joanne, have you ever had any contact with a man's thing?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies "Well i once fondled and stroked one". St Peter says "Ok, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the Gate".
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, and the girl from Romford is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line, St peter says
"Tracy, what seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies;
"If i'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water...I want to do it before Lorraine sticks her **** in it!!"
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