Thursday humour - Beckham
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Alex Ferguson calls Beckham into his office.
'David', he says, 'I need to talk to you about your performance against Leeds the other night, you were bloody hopeless, completely off form.'
'Sorry boss', says David. 'I've not been myself lately. I've got a few problems at home.'
'Oh dear' says Fergie, 'What's up? Posh & the kids Ok?'
'Oh, they're fine, it's just that something is really bugging me and I'm losing sleep and everything. I can't concentrate on my football and
it's really messing me head up.'
'Whatever's the matter?' says fergie
'Well boss, It's pretty serious. Victoria bought this jigsaw puzzle the other day and.........'
'A JIGSAW??' shouts Sir Alex. 'You're playing Sh*t because of a jigsaw?'
'Yeah boss, but you don't understand, it's really doing me head in!' says David, 'It's really hard, it's this picture of a Tiger and it looks really easy on the box and I'm sure I've got all the bits and everything but I just can't get it right and it's doing my head in and, and.........'
'David, David, David' says Fergie, 'You better get a grip son and quick.'
'Ok boss, but.............It's this picture of a Tiger and it looks really easy on the box and I'm sure I've got all the bits and everything but I can't do it and it's doing my head in and....... and....it's a Tiger and it looks easy but it's really hard and er, it's a Tiger and everything,er.. on the box... er..... sorry boss.'
'Ok, Ok' says Sir Alex, 'bring in the blo*dy jigsaw and let's have a look shall we. It can't be that difficult'. 'Thanks boss.' says David.
So Becks brings in the jigsaw and takes it to Fergies office. 'Here it is boss' he says, showing Ferguson the picture on the box,look boss, it's a Tiger right, and it's a really good picture and everything but I just can't do it and it's really hard and it's doing my head in and everything..'
Becks empties all the pieces from the box all over Fergie's desk. Sir Alex looks at what's on the desk, looks up with his head in his hands and says to Beckham............
(Trust me, it's worth it)
'Put the f***ing Frosties back in the box David'.............
'David', he says, 'I need to talk to you about your performance against Leeds the other night, you were bloody hopeless, completely off form.'
'Sorry boss', says David. 'I've not been myself lately. I've got a few problems at home.'
'Oh dear' says Fergie, 'What's up? Posh & the kids Ok?'
'Oh, they're fine, it's just that something is really bugging me and I'm losing sleep and everything. I can't concentrate on my football and
it's really messing me head up.'
'Whatever's the matter?' says fergie
'Well boss, It's pretty serious. Victoria bought this jigsaw puzzle the other day and.........'
'A JIGSAW??' shouts Sir Alex. 'You're playing Sh*t because of a jigsaw?'
'Yeah boss, but you don't understand, it's really doing me head in!' says David, 'It's really hard, it's this picture of a Tiger and it looks really easy on the box and I'm sure I've got all the bits and everything but I just can't get it right and it's doing my head in and, and.........'
'David, David, David' says Fergie, 'You better get a grip son and quick.'
'Ok boss, but.............It's this picture of a Tiger and it looks really easy on the box and I'm sure I've got all the bits and everything but I can't do it and it's doing my head in and....... and....it's a Tiger and it looks easy but it's really hard and er, it's a Tiger and everything,er.. on the box... er..... sorry boss.'
'Ok, Ok' says Sir Alex, 'bring in the blo*dy jigsaw and let's have a look shall we. It can't be that difficult'. 'Thanks boss.' says David.
So Becks brings in the jigsaw and takes it to Fergies office. 'Here it is boss' he says, showing Ferguson the picture on the box,look boss, it's a Tiger right, and it's a really good picture and everything but I just can't do it and it's really hard and it's doing my head in and everything..'
Becks empties all the pieces from the box all over Fergie's desk. Sir Alex looks at what's on the desk, looks up with his head in his hands and says to Beckham............
(Trust me, it's worth it)
'Put the f***ing Frosties back in the box David'.............
#5
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Well i do humbly apologise to you all. I wont speak again unless i am spoken to.
Anyway, i have only just seen it cos i follow the one decent team in the country, the MIGHTY PALACE.
Anyway, i have only just seen it cos i follow the one decent team in the country, the MIGHTY PALACE.
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LOL
You're not the only one, theres at least a few more PALACE fans on here
All this talk 'can't wait' for the Mancs derby, try waiting 12 years, worth waiting for mind
Justin
You're not the only one, theres at least a few more PALACE fans on here
All this talk 'can't wait' for the Mancs derby, try waiting 12 years, worth waiting for mind
Justin
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#9
Beckham goes into a sperm bank signs up and is about to go into the room to do the dirty deed when he rings posh up and gets her to rush over to the clinic. The receptionist knowing how thick the scum player is reminds David what he is there for when Posh says
'We know that but he's a useless ******'
Let the Beckham jokes thread be declared open.
'We know that but he's a useless ******'
Let the Beckham jokes thread be declared open.
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