Another Joke
17 September 2002, 10:05 AM
#1
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Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling ***** but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his
delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in
the back with the 20,000 bowling *****, will he take them, so he
agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down.
Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for
speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm " Scouse eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look.He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.
He rushes back to his cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for
immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher
asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.
"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have hatched
and the f***ers have already managed to nick a motorbike".
delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in
the back with the 20,000 bowling *****, will he take them, so he
agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down.
Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for
speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm " Scouse eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look.He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.
He rushes back to his cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for
immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher
asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.
"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have hatched
and the f***ers have already managed to nick a motorbike".
17 September 2002, 12:21 PM
#3
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(In for a penny......
)
Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.
The first man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a scouser.
To show off, the engineer called to his dog: "T-square, do your stuff". T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said "Spreadsheet, do your stuff". Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and
returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said: "Measure, do your stuff". Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took
out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was clever.
Then the three men turned to the scouser and said, "What can your dog do?"
The scouser called to his dog and said: "Bindipper, do your stuff". Bindipper jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shat on the paper, shagged the other three dogs and claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
)Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.
The first man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a scouser.
To show off, the engineer called to his dog: "T-square, do your stuff". T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said "Spreadsheet, do your stuff". Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and
returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said: "Measure, do your stuff". Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took
out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was clever.
Then the three men turned to the scouser and said, "What can your dog do?"
The scouser called to his dog and said: "Bindipper, do your stuff". Bindipper jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shat on the paper, shagged the other three dogs and claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
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