jonny gav

iTrader: (1)

In this out of the way village there was a man called "One Stone".

This wasn't his real name but everyone called him it because he had only
one ********. After years and years of this torment One Stone cracked and
said, "If anyone calls me One Stone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him One Stone any more. Then one day
a young girl forgot and said, "Good morning One Stone." He jumped up,
grabbed her and took her deep into the forest, where he shagged her all day,
he shagged her all night, he shagged her all the next day, until she died
from exhaustion. The word got around that One Stone meant business.

Years went by until a woman returned to the village after many years away,
She was overjoyed when she saw One Stone and hugged him and said, "Good to
see you One Stone."

Again, One Stone grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
shagged her all day, shagged her all night, shagged her all the next day,
shagged her all the next night, but she wouldn't die!

What is the moral of the story?











(You'll love this!!!!)










































































You will, honestly












































"You can't kill two birds with one stone."

father_jack

I'd rather get stoned with 2 birds

jonny gav

iTrader: (1)

mr shipman has taken up boxing,they say he has a killer jab

C h a z

ROTFLMFAO @ Father_Jack

scrappydoo

LOL. Thats just cheered me up bigtime. :-)

jonny gav

iTrader: (1)

There once was a horse and a chicken that were really good friends. One day while walking throught the swamp the horse fell into a huge mud puddle. Unable to get out, he asked the chicken to go and get the farmer before he sank to the bottom.

The chicken raced to the farm but couldn't find the farmer anywhere. So, he jumped into the farmers new Porsche and raced back to the puddle. He tied a rope to the bumper and threw the other end to the horse and pulled him out.

The horse was very greatful and said he would repay him one day.

Not long after that the two were walking through the woods again and the chicken fell into a mud puddle. Panicing he screamed for the horse to help him.

The horse straddled the puddle and lowered his **** for the chicken to grab and then pulled him out to safety.


The moral of this story:




















If you are built like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks.

scrappydoo

ROTFLMFAO. Classic.!!!!!

Keep em comin mate.

jonny gav

iTrader: (1)

An Australian woman was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped over, did the splits, and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband. "Jacko! Jacko!" she screamed. Jacko came running in. "Jacko, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor," she said. "Strewth!" Jacko said and tried to pull her up. "You're just too heavy, girl. I'll go across the road and get me mate, Bluey."

They came back, and both tried to pull her up. "No way. We can't do it,"Bluey said, "Too much suction. Lets try Plan C." "Plan C?" exclaimed Jacko. "What's that"? I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel, and we'll break the tiles under her." "Spot on," Jacko said. "While your doing that, I'll stay here and play with her ****."

"Play with her ****"? Bluey asked, "Why the hell would you want to do that"? Jacko replied, "Well, I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive

Jodster

Robert De Niro is to star in a film about the life of murderous doctor Harold Shipman.

It's going to be called "The Old Dear Hunter."

[Edited by Jodster - 8/9/2002 1:25:13 PM]

mj

they did a good cover up about all the asians that shipman had bumped off.


they reckon he was doing foreigners at the weekend.

[Edited by mj - 8/9/2002 2:29:58 PM]