Help!!!
24 July 2002, 01:45 PM
#1
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Aplogies to the moderators as I'm not sure where to post this.
If someone on here could give me some advice on my problem I would be very, very grateful.
Around 2 years ago my then girlfriend became 'accidentally' pregnant. She lived in Cumbria and I lived in Merseyside. I planned to leave my job, home etc and move in with her and do the whole family thing. I had a job interview in Cumbria and was offered the job which I thankfullly accepted.
2 weeks before I was due to move up my girlfriend said out of the blue "I don't want you to move in, I don't want anything else to do with you".
I was given no reason so I had no choice but to accept this decision. She also said she did not want me to see the child when born. I still gave her money to buy baby clothes and to decorate the wardrobe.
Baby was born in February 2001. I have seen him once at the christening for 30 minutes.
This was the last I had heard, since then I met someone else, we moved in and plan to marry at the end of 2003 or beginning of 2004.
Big shocker came about 30 minutes ago....
Opened my payslip and along with the usual tax deductions I have the following entries:
COURTORD - PRIOR 295.32
CHILD SUPPORT AG 275.00
Now I don't earn a bad wage but its not high. We have a house and usual bills etc and this I just can't afford to lose this amount of money each month.
I feel sick in the stomach and don't know who to talk to etc so if anyone in here has had a similar experience or knows any legal issues etc (e.g she kicked me out) then please let me know.
Thank you in advance
Paul
If someone on here could give me some advice on my problem I would be very, very grateful.
Around 2 years ago my then girlfriend became 'accidentally' pregnant. She lived in Cumbria and I lived in Merseyside. I planned to leave my job, home etc and move in with her and do the whole family thing. I had a job interview in Cumbria and was offered the job which I thankfullly accepted.
2 weeks before I was due to move up my girlfriend said out of the blue "I don't want you to move in, I don't want anything else to do with you".
I was given no reason so I had no choice but to accept this decision. She also said she did not want me to see the child when born. I still gave her money to buy baby clothes and to decorate the wardrobe.
Baby was born in February 2001. I have seen him once at the christening for 30 minutes.
This was the last I had heard, since then I met someone else, we moved in and plan to marry at the end of 2003 or beginning of 2004.
Big shocker came about 30 minutes ago....
Opened my payslip and along with the usual tax deductions I have the following entries:
COURTORD - PRIOR 295.32
CHILD SUPPORT AG 275.00
Now I don't earn a bad wage but its not high. We have a house and usual bills etc and this I just can't afford to lose this amount of money each month.
I feel sick in the stomach and don't know who to talk to etc so if anyone in here has had a similar experience or knows any legal issues etc (e.g she kicked me out) then please let me know.
Thank you in advance
Paul
24 July 2002, 01:49 PM
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This wil pi$$ her off!
Tell the CSA that you suspect she had been having an affair and you suspect the child maybe someone elses.
Should delay things a bit longer.
Tell the CSA that you suspect she had been having an affair and you suspect the child maybe someone elses.
Should delay things a bit longer.
24 July 2002, 01:49 PM
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Fuel problems - No prob.
Tyre Pressures - Easy Peasy...
Turbo Timers - Piece of cake.
MY01 PPP - A Doddle...
.
.
.
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Parental court orders and child benefit claims... NO WAY!!!
Sorry bud... they gotya!
Mak.
Tyre Pressures - Easy Peasy...
Turbo Timers - Piece of cake.
MY01 PPP - A Doddle...
.
.
.
.
Parental court orders and child benefit claims... NO WAY!!!
Sorry bud... they gotya!
Mak.
24 July 2002, 01:52 PM
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Sorry m8
my advice get a good solicitor!!!
I dont think you can avoid paying for the child but you might get the payments reduced.
Secondly, do you want access to the kiddy? (it sounds like you do) then a solicitor will arrange regular visits and even weekend/holiday stopovers.
Steve
my advice get a good solicitor!!!
I dont think you can avoid paying for the child but you might get the payments reduced.
Secondly, do you want access to the kiddy? (it sounds like you do) then a solicitor will arrange regular visits and even weekend/holiday stopovers.
Steve
24 July 2002, 01:58 PM
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Exact same thing is happening to my friend at the moment. Girl he was seeing "accidentally" got pregnant and the baby is due this Saturday. She doesn't want anything more to do with him, infact she is seeing someone else but she felt the need to report him to the CSA. He even offered to give her money each month if she didn't do this but she wouldn't agree.
Anyway CSA can take upto 30% of your salary after tax if they want. In his case he could be paying £700 a month for the next 16 years for this child. To say he is gutted is an understatement.
Anyway CSA can take upto 30% of your salary after tax if they want. In his case he could be paying £700 a month for the next 16 years for this child. To say he is gutted is an understatement.
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24 July 2002, 02:00 PM
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30% after tax.
Do they not need to take into account your current outgoings
e.g Mortgage, Loans, Car, Credit Cards, Wife & Kids (soon)
I mean if I were to take out a huge repayment loan that would put my outgoings right up there
Do they not need to take into account your current outgoings
e.g Mortgage, Loans, Car, Credit Cards, Wife & Kids (soon)
I mean if I were to take out a huge repayment loan that would put my outgoings right up there
24 July 2002, 02:14 PM
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I am very sorry to hear your predicament, you have parental rights m8 and you need a solicitor fast and to be honest you should have seen one immediately she said you are not ever seeing your child, she has no right to stop you, and a court of law would give you access! (at least I hope you want to see your child - no offence meant, but there are some strange people about who don't 
and your post didn't make it crystal clear )
As for the csa check out http://www.csa.gov.uk/
My ex threatened me loads with it and blackmailed me with taking me to these people. I pay her, and have always done since she run off with my son, on a weekly basis by cheque to be able to show my payments. Thankfully, although don't know when, the amount you pay will change dramatically. It will be 15% of your net income on the new scheme when it is brought in which works out a hell of a lot less than under their current scheme. Their is also an appeal process to argue you are paying too much under the current scheme.
If you want to see your child you must get your a specialist solicitor for this area of law and get on the case asap and get yourself access!
Let me know how you get on, I will be battling my ex until my son lives with me one day hopefully!
and your post didn't make it crystal clear )As for the csa check out http://www.csa.gov.uk/
My ex threatened me loads with it and blackmailed me with taking me to these people. I pay her, and have always done since she run off with my son, on a weekly basis by cheque to be able to show my payments. Thankfully, although don't know when, the amount you pay will change dramatically. It will be 15% of your net income on the new scheme when it is brought in which works out a hell of a lot less than under their current scheme. Their is also an appeal process to argue you are paying too much under the current scheme.
If you want to see your child you must get your a specialist solicitor for this area of law and get on the case asap and get yourself access!
Let me know how you get on, I will be battling my ex until my son lives with me one day hopefully!
24 July 2002, 02:20 PM
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Baravo2zero_sps
Thanks for your advice mate
If my partner is comfortable then I would love to see my son. Distance would make it a little more difficult but its not too much of a problem.
I'm glad to hear that payments may be reduced to 15% of my salary. The thing that gets me is the mother works for a living and according to the CSA website because she claims 'Working Families Tax Credit' they treat her as having no disposable income.....Whats that all about????
I am in Manchester now so I am trying to find out if there is a Citizens Advice around here somewhere so I can chat to someone and arrange to see a solicitor.
Good luck in your fight mate, I hope you get what you want.
If anyone is in Manchester (I am not from here) and can point me to a CAB then that would help!!
Thanks everyone for your comments I appreciate it
Thanks for your advice mate
If my partner is comfortable then I would love to see my son. Distance would make it a little more difficult but its not too much of a problem.
I'm glad to hear that payments may be reduced to 15% of my salary. The thing that gets me is the mother works for a living and according to the CSA website because she claims 'Working Families Tax Credit' they treat her as having no disposable income.....Whats that all about????
I am in Manchester now so I am trying to find out if there is a Citizens Advice around here somewhere so I can chat to someone and arrange to see a solicitor.
Good luck in your fight mate, I hope you get what you want.
If anyone is in Manchester (I am not from here) and can point me to a CAB then that would help!!
Thanks everyone for your comments I appreciate it
24 July 2002, 02:31 PM
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Sorry to hear your predicament m8, am going through the same at the mo, see below for your info:
Citizens Advice Bureau
Bennett St
Stretford
Manchester
Lancashire M32 8SG
Tel: 0870 1264094
Citizens Advice Bureau
Bennett St
Stretford
Manchester
Lancashire M32 8SG
Tel: 0870 1264094
24 July 2002, 02:35 PM
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Glad to be of help m8 as people on here have advised me on the same topic previously. I just hope you get to see your son m8, I think women who stop the children from seeing their dad are total SCUM/EVIL BITCHES! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
The law in this country is wrong IMHO but there is nothing us dads can do about it unfortunately [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] I even told my solicitor I would go to a European court of law as this country stinks and I was told that the laws are pretty much the same in most Western European countries and I had no chance!
My ex did some very evil things yet the court wasn't bothered by the facts one little bit and just said children live with the parent who has brought them up which in 99.9% of the time is the mother. If I had known this when my son was born I would have sent her out to ******* work and I would have stayed home and brought him up, basically the law penalises you for going out to work to earn money to provide for your family [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
My son would have a far better and happier upbringing living with me yet the law doesn't care or show any interst in that! As far as the law is concerned dads have virtually no rights and are able to see their child every couple of weeks! My son wants to see me all the time and vice versa but the law doesn't care what he wants and wont listen to him till he is at least 12 years old and his mum restricts me to the court order and rarely lets me have extra access. To her my son is a prize posession and doesn't do what is best for him, only what pleases her which is seeing me suffer! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
I know I am not the only dad suffering this but I sure as hell feel something needs to be done to rectify the bad deal we get as dads!
I'll get off my high horse now!
The law in this country is wrong IMHO but there is nothing us dads can do about it unfortunately [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] I even told my solicitor I would go to a European court of law as this country stinks and I was told that the laws are pretty much the same in most Western European countries and I had no chance!
My ex did some very evil things yet the court wasn't bothered by the facts one little bit and just said children live with the parent who has brought them up which in 99.9% of the time is the mother. If I had known this when my son was born I would have sent her out to ******* work and I would have stayed home and brought him up, basically the law penalises you for going out to work to earn money to provide for your family [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
My son would have a far better and happier upbringing living with me yet the law doesn't care or show any interst in that! As far as the law is concerned dads have virtually no rights and are able to see their child every couple of weeks! My son wants to see me all the time and vice versa but the law doesn't care what he wants and wont listen to him till he is at least 12 years old
and his mum restricts me to the court order and rarely lets me have extra access. To her my son is a prize posession and doesn't do what is best for him, only what pleases her which is seeing me suffer! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]I know I am not the only dad suffering this but I sure as hell feel something needs to be done to rectify the bad deal we get as dads!
I'll get off my high horse now!
24 July 2002, 02:46 PM
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I completely agree with everything you say.
I know I have only just entered this and thousands and thousands of other people are suffering as I am.
I think I am still in shock at the amount of money I have just lost in this months pay packet. get paid tommorrow and only just realised they have taken out 275 for maintenance and another 295 for what I can only assume is what back payments maybe??
Is that fair?
It's bad enough taking nearly £300 of someone who has girlfriend / mortgage etc but to take nearly double that is just insane. How do they expect someone to live and pay high taxes if they take all your bloody money before you see it.
At the time all my friends said they never trusted her and they were right. Once I had paid for clothes, nursery etc I was out of the equation.
I know I have only just entered this and thousands and thousands of other people are suffering as I am.
I think I am still in shock at the amount of money I have just lost in this months pay packet. get paid tommorrow and only just realised they have taken out 275 for maintenance and another 295 for what I can only assume is what back payments maybe??
Is that fair?
It's bad enough taking nearly £300 of someone who has girlfriend / mortgage etc but to take nearly double that is just insane. How do they expect someone to live and pay high taxes if they take all your bloody money before you see it.
At the time all my friends said they never trusted her and they were right. Once I had paid for clothes, nursery etc I was out of the equation.
24 July 2002, 02:47 PM
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It saddens and angers me too.
At the end of the day, the child suffers more, for females who solely vindictively stop the dad seeing their child, then shame on you [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
At the end of the day, the child suffers more, for females who solely vindictively stop the dad seeing their child, then shame on you [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
24 July 2002, 02:55 PM
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Move to the Isle of Man. The CSA can't touch you here. Or perhaps you could arrange to have your wages paid into an overseas account here?
Is that the Financial Supervision Commission knocking on my door? It's a loophole and it depends how 'flexible' your employer is. Just don't tell anyone I told you about it !
ken
(edited for spelling, again)
[Edited by kenb@manx - 7/24/2002 2:57:56 PM]
Is that the Financial Supervision Commission knocking on my door? It's a loophole and it depends how 'flexible' your employer is. Just don't tell anyone I told you about it !
ken
(edited for spelling, again)
[Edited by kenb@manx - 7/24/2002 2:57:56 PM]
24 July 2002, 02:59 PM
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ken
Not a bad idea mate but 2 small flawes unfortunately
1) I work for a bank and wages must be paid into an account with them.
2) The CSA have taken the money by Deduction from Earnings....the money is gone before your bank account comes into the equation
They have me bollox an' all
Just a bit miffed why they haven't contacted me ref: my outgoings, debts etc
Or are they just assuming I have no debts and every penny I earn goes under the mattress
Not a bad idea mate but 2 small flawes unfortunately
1) I work for a bank and wages must be paid into an account with them.
2) The CSA have taken the money by Deduction from Earnings....the money is gone before your bank account comes into the equation
They have me bollox an' all
Just a bit miffed why they haven't contacted me ref: my outgoings, debts etc
Or are they just assuming I have no debts and every penny I earn goes under the mattress
24 July 2002, 03:07 PM
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Try to get the FBI involved by claiming that she's a terrorrist. That should solve things in both the long and short run. Just make sure you say Al Qaeda and not the IRA so they'll take it seriously..
24 July 2002, 03:11 PM
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The reason they will have taken it directly is that she will have told them you refuse to pay any money and that you wont disclose any info and she doesn't know where you live etc. On that basis the CSA hunt you down via National Insurance number etc and take you to the ******* cleaners without even letting you have your say [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
24 July 2002, 03:14 PM
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So now I will make contact with the CSA and a solicitor and hopefully have these payments stopped pending the following:
1) A DNA test to prove I am the father (for 16 years of payment...well worth it)
2) Correct assessment of my earnings / outgoings etc
Failing all that......oh bollox!!!!!
1) A DNA test to prove I am the father (for 16 years of payment...well worth it)
2) Correct assessment of my earnings / outgoings etc
Failing all that......oh bollox!!!!!
24 July 2002, 03:20 PM
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I told my ex if she decided to go down this route quite simply I would give up my career and live in the ******* gutter, then the csa couldnt have a penny and she would get nothing. I am not going to work to give that bitch all my money, she doesnt even spend what I pay her now on him and it goes in her pocket [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
So she either accepted what I pay her which works out the same as what I would pay under the new scheme anyway or I would resign and she would get nothing!
She decided not to go throught the csa probably due to the fact she is commiting benefit fraud and is better off not going through them! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
So she either accepted what I pay her which works out the same as what I would pay under the new scheme anyway or I would resign and she would get nothing!
She decided not to go throught the csa probably due to the fact she is commiting benefit fraud and is better off not going through them! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
24 July 2002, 03:25 PM
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**************,
These are the same thoughts my friend is having at the moment. As I stated above he is absolutely gutted at the thought of the CSA being able to take £700 a month off him that he too is seriously considering just giving up work.
One other thing he is considering is having his basic wage reduced to say 15K a year and then receiving a 10K bonus every six months. Anybody know if this is likely to work as the bonus wouldn't be classed as gauranteed income.
If there is one thing to learn from this, if there is any doubt you do not want to get the woman pregnant then use a condom, don't trust her....
These are the same thoughts my friend is having at the moment. As I stated above he is absolutely gutted at the thought of the CSA being able to take £700 a month off him that he too is seriously considering just giving up work.
One other thing he is considering is having his basic wage reduced to say 15K a year and then receiving a 10K bonus every six months. Anybody know if this is likely to work as the bonus wouldn't be classed as gauranteed income.
If there is one thing to learn from this, if there is any doubt you do not want to get the woman pregnant then use a condom, don't trust her....
24 July 2002, 03:30 PM
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I am sure they will still get him on the bonuses at the end of the financial year as when they get a copy of his P60 they will have a field day [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] You can't beat the system, not that I know about anyway!
I have well and truly learnt my lesson, I haven't just had my fingers burnt, more like I have been cremated!
I have well and truly learnt my lesson, I haven't just had my fingers burnt, more like I have been cremated!
24 July 2002, 03:40 PM
#28
i feel sorry for you mate. i have paid 415 for 3 years with another 7 to go. i cant believe the csa issued a DOE straight away have you just moved ? or been hiding? the best help is the NACSA forum i am on it more than scooby net. they can take up to 30% of your salery but have to take other things into account there is lots of :ways: to reduce your payments ! but forget the no money to live off etc as the CSA b******s dont care a S**T about you . they have nearly destroyed my life. and the scoob is one of the things that keep me sane when dealing with them. you cant beat them untill the child is up to 19 years old. you do have to pay .this 15% of your salery as you are now a current client will not kick in for you for prehaps 3-4 years so you will have to look at other ways to pay less . i cant say too much on this forum as my E_MAIL is visable to every one {csa spys and workers!!} but try the NACSA and read up on it . i really feel sorry for anyone who the csa start on mistakes are so common i paid £20- £100 for 5 months that they assessed me on then tryed to take £700 per month. i managed to get it down to 400 odd with 15 years to pay off arrears!! at £12 per month.forget a solicitor regarding csa and CB are not to hot on csa matters . i have probly opened a real hornets nest now with my comments re paying for a child now!! get in the scoob to night for a BLAST thats what i do> good luck mate.
24 July 2002, 03:48 PM
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http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~mart03/leonStudio.htm
Buahahahahahahahaha! Its funny what you can find on the net.
Buahahahahahahahaha! Its funny what you can find on the net.