World's Shortest Fairy Tale
22 July 2009, 10:08 AM
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World's Shortest Fairy Tale
World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and ****** whenever he wanted.
The end
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and ****** whenever he wanted.
The end
22 July 2009, 10:58 AM
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World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and ****** whenever he wanted.
The end
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and ****** whenever he wanted.
The end
all you men need a women you no that!!
22 July 2009, 11:01 AM
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22 July 2009, 11:46 AM
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World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and ****** whenever he wanted.
The end
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and ****** whenever he wanted.
The end
22 July 2009, 12:07 PM
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Here you go girls - just a few that made me smile - trouble is they're not jokes - just facts!!! 
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they crease.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
(my favourite!!)
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they crease.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
(my favourite!!)
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
22 July 2009, 12:24 PM
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22 July 2009, 12:37 PM
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But as you asked so nicely
Paddy is cleaning his rifle when he accidently shot and killed his wife.
He dialled 999 "It's my wife, I accidently shot and killed her" Operator: "Calm down now sir, can you first make sure she is dead?"
CLICK - BANG, "Ok done that, what next?"
Paddy is cleaning his rifle when he accidently shot and killed his wife.
He dialled 999 "It's my wife, I accidently shot and killed her" Operator: "Calm down now sir, can you first make sure she is dead?"
CLICK - BANG, "Ok done that, what next?"
22 July 2009, 02:26 PM
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As we seem to be enjoying funnies on here..... here are a few that I got told this morning!
My dwarf girlfriend just left me. What a shame.
I was nuts over her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know it's going to be a good blow job when she puts on a Breathe Right nasal strip first.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a half-Irish, half-Chinese man?
Pat Noodle.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
An officer in the U.S. Naval Reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and the French Navy.
At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies.
The French Admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English.
He then asked, "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you speak French?"
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it is because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I drank 3 bottles of Chianti last night....
Woke up with a nasty case of wine flu.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
We buried my Epileptic friend today and as a mark of respect we all rolled around on the floor pretending to have a seizure during his funeral.
We thought it was only fitting.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My dwarf girlfriend just left me. What a shame.
I was nuts over her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know it's going to be a good blow job when she puts on a Breathe Right nasal strip first.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a half-Irish, half-Chinese man?
Pat Noodle.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
An officer in the U.S. Naval Reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and the French Navy.
At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies.
The French Admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English.
He then asked, "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you speak French?"
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it is because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I drank 3 bottles of Chianti last night....
Woke up with a nasty case of wine flu.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
We buried my Epileptic friend today and as a mark of respect we all rolled around on the floor pretending to have a seizure during his funeral.
We thought it was only fitting.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
22 July 2009, 02:35 PM
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wife calls hubby:"i've run out of petrol, i'm scared to fill up because of swine flu" hubby Replies" you daft tw*t its in mexico not texaco"
22 July 2009, 02:56 PM
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World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and ****** whenever he wanted.
The end
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and ****** whenever he wanted.
The end
22 July 2009, 03:28 PM
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'better to have loved & lost, than never to have loved at all!!'
at least you can smile now!!
My poor old man has had 20 years of hell & can't afford a divorce!!
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