top 10 things to ponder for 2007
27 January 2007, 12:47 PM
#1
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,093
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
top 10 things to ponder for 2007
TEN THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2007
#10 Life is sexually transmitted.
#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
#8 Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
#10 Life is sexually transmitted.
#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
#8 Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
@#8
27 January 2007, 01:57 PM
#4
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.
Posts: 595
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
PMSFL @ Number 8, going to put that into practice!! I shall have a sandwich ready for him when he gets home just incase he is not horny! (have to say though i reckon the sandwich might go mouldy waiting for him not to be horny!)
27 January 2007, 11:46 PM
#6
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: You only live ONCE But if you do it right >>>>> ONCE is enough
Posts: 7,327
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A few thoughts for 2007.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on...
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Food for thought.
Mark
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on...
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Food for thought.
Mark
Trending Topics
28 January 2007, 12:43 AM
#8
Scooby Regular
A few thoughts for 2007.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on...
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Food for thought.
Mark
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on...
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Food for thought.
Mark
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
MightyArsenal
Wheels, Tyres & Brakes
6
25 September 2015 08:31 PM