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The thing with the backlight sounds a bit odd, it should come on automatically as soon as you touch the wheel, pressing the menu button and holding is more of a way to get the light on so you can navigate to the settings. I think I have used that particular way of getting it on twice in the year and a half I've had my iPod.

The wheel may feel a touch over sensitive, but give it a couple of days and you will be a master with it.