http://sounds.steakandcheese.com/btcall1.wav

[Edited by mj - 10/9/2002 4:55:11 PM]

sod it, it doesent work.

look for the BT call under audio, its no 58.



[Edited by mj - 10/9/2002 4:56:42 PM]

[Edited by mj - 10/9/2002 4:57:55 PM]

 

I've just had a call from a user. It went something like this...

User: Hello, I've got a problem with my phone. I can not hear what people are saying.
Me: You need to call the supplier. They will send a replacement.
User: I'm sorry, I can hardly hear you!
Me: There's a number on the telephone you need to call.
User: Hello? Hello? I can't hear you.
Me: You need to call... <click> zzzzzzzzzz

I kid you not

 

....was that really true.....

shunty

 

Absolutely. Happened about 10 mins ago. One of the other chaps in the office could not believe it. I wouldn't mind, except I don't do first line support

 

Nimbus

That's a classic!!!!

Nick

 

our IT dept does all levels of support (unfortunately). People can be so damn stoopid at times !!

Here's some gems..

-"it (the pc) wont accept my password", the Caps Lock was on

-"my computer wont work", I pressed the 'on' button to rectify this corker, I kid u not

-"i cant log on",...well try changing the ****ing username to your username

Then you get the experts who buy Computer Shopper now and again and pick up a few buzz words.....all ****ing interfering when you're trying to solve a problem for them, i have learnt to just leave them to it, after all they're the experts .

Not forgetting the users who go from A, straight to Z, with nothing inbetween. In other words, expect miracles, and want them yesterday. "Can you add this function to (obscure, obselete software package) as i want it to wipe my a$$".

...and ...those who get impatient, generally see their bottoms when you don't produce the goods within 30 seconds, BUT always come to ME the next time .

AND (lol) my absolute pet-hate - you're knee deep in patch cables and rj45s etc, when someone cracks the old-chestnut 'have you broke it?" ha ****ing ha. **** OFF!

Ahh that felt better lol.

Note: all of the above is more than welcome when the subject is 18-30 years old, female, and shaggable .

 

http://www.phonelosers.org/techsupport/

Some classics here. Look further around the site for some hilarious stuff.

These are good too:
http://www.rodswigart.com/Jokes/soundjokes/


[Edited by Darren (M3) - 10/10/2002 12:22:25 PM]

 

CC, SO right about the shaggable females bit, I do find that they have the most network connectivity problems especially when I find there port number and keep un-patching it

The best or worst call I had was
Q: How do I get capitals.
A: Press the shift key.
Q: what's that.

What can you do?

Matt

 

My current favouriste is:

"I can't print \ it won't print \ printing has stopped working"

I walk to machine, send a test page to printer, works fine, user is trying to print to either a) a printer that does not exist or b) a printer in another office.

 

Ianc,

What? You don't get the old favourite? The printer has run out of paper???

 

A Couple of jems.

Had a manager ring me up one day saying his computer had frozen. I told him to turn it off at the button and back on, a few seconds later got another call saying he had done that but it was still frozen so decided to go and see the problem for myself.
When I got there he was getting quite agitated as he had "turned it off and on" several times but it was still frozen. Turns out he was turning the monitor on and off


Had to change PC's for a partner once as his had died. So I installed the spare PC at his desk and turned it on saying it should all work now. I got a call 2 minutes later asking why he couldn't see any of the icons or his shortcut bar so went to have a look. Turns out he thought that because I hadn't changed the monitor it would look the same as his own PC. Oh how I laughed

 

....great working in IT isn't it....don't forget these stupid people who should should walk around the office wearing "stoopid" signs stapled to their heads...are our "bread&butter"...


shunty

 

No matter what the problem you should always dive under the desk to check the patch leads. Great Views

Deano

 

Had this one myself. Doing remote support for another branch, and the PC needed power-cycling. The person on the other end of the phone attempted it 8-10 times, and each time we couldn't figure how the machine booted back to the previous screen so quickly. We eventually figured out from their dumb descriptions that they were repeatedly power-cycling the VDU.

 

Powercycling is that like turning it off and on?

Closely related to re-seating I believe.

[Edited by father_jack - 10/10/2002 4:33:38 PM]

 

Mj,
I like No. 31 better, he sounds so calm in the begining, then something just snaps lol.

Andy

 

Mirp1, yes getting under the tables does have it merits ....bloody trousers for the women is the uniform at our place however .....still, I will always respond that bit faster to a nice lady lol .

Shunt - you've got a point, to be honest i dont mind how daft a problem is as long as the person(s) involved are reasonable with you. I am trying to get as much programming under me belt as possible as I'd love to get into a purely programming role....just me and the pc, and some software (correct i hope?), bliss !

Another one to add, do you ever get colleagues who mess-up a job then basically ignore requests to sort it...and end up having to rectify yourself? Happened to me today ggrrrrrrr...thing is i wouldnt mind if the colleague asked for my help but shrugging the job off is the wrong way to get a workmate to do something...

 

CC - I find threatening them with a prolonged physical assault normally clears up your last point

shunty

 

When I go to one of these "stoopid" faults, I feel so embarrased for the person that I make up some phantom fault and blame it on that. How sad is that?

 

Rik - escpecially if it's a PA to the MD or any female in finance

shunty

 

not just a customer round the corner

 

shunty

 

seen as how I havn't told one yet:

installed a small new network (SBS 4.5) in glasgow a few years ago for motherwell bridge, the guy who originally owned the company sold out but they kept him on as a finance director....anyhow....
he called every day to say that the network kept going down intermittently.....and they wouldn't pay the bill for the install as it wasn't working properly.

he was switching the monitor off to save electricity (scottish finance director...say no more).....only it wasn't the monitor, it was the PDC
he was embarrased as **** when I said to him on the phone " why are you going under the desk to switch on the monitor on"

shunty

 

User: I am trying to show my powerpoint presentation and all I can get is a blue screen out of the projector

Me: Hmm (checks leads, switches PC on). I think it will work now.

This in front of the entire senior management team.

I managed to keep a straight face until I was out of the room.

 

My all time fav is when a user e-mails you to tell you the E-Mail system isn't working.....Then they phone up in a huff to ask why you haven't replied to their e-mail....


Jeff