I think we should show people what is REALLY what on here

Here are a few off the top of my head; feel free to add to them.

The alternative guidelines

Anyone asking a question that has probably been asked five years ago will be directed to SIDC FAQ.

No use of the phrase "the twisties" (e.g. "I would have had him in the twisties") is to be permitted without the copyright symbol.

Anyone posting a joke or photo that has been seen already by more than three members of the BBS will be liable to some reference towards a high performance rally replica being towed out of a frozen lake.

pslewis reserves the right to wind anyone up, and particularly newbies.

Users claiming they are about to buy a Ferrari will be reminded of this by the community until they have actually taken delivery of it.

Female members signing onto the board and making their gender known are to listen carefully to the theme tune from "Jaws" before submitting the message.


...any more?

 

muppet forum here we come

 

lol

 

Yeh. I could go with those, Brendan.
Spongebob

 

Anyone signing on with a ridiculously long username that throws out the margins will have it summarily truncated at the Mods discretion (Whatever happened to John Barnes and his Gloves?)

 

SHOUTING MAY RESULT IN SOMEONE POSTING A PICTURE OF A DIRTY KEYBOARD.

 

Threads on 'why people don't wave anymore' should be seen at least once a month in General.

Other once a monthers should be:

Price of petrol
Questioning of Optimax RON and how its achieved
Proof of doing 162 mph
My scoob beat (insert faster/slower car here) to which the original poster is flamed by the 'we don't need your sort' types, with the thread finally being calmed down by the wise old 'at the end of the day we all enjoy our cars' members

I'm sure there are others

 

Damn, how could I forget about the waving!

I was thinking of "Any dispute or flame war between two scooby owners can be rapidly diverted by the intervention of an RSOC member posting". Risqué, too specific?

 

You're also forgetting...

- Adding Koni's will make a Cavalier faster than a Scoob
- There's no grip on my car... That's because you are still running Bridgestone RE010s
- Is the PPP worth it? How much extra bhp will I get?
- Evo vs Scoob - which is better?
- Pepl postin wiv ron spelin wil be verbuly punishd
- What's the best car wax/wash? Who sells Zymol/SwissRoll/whatever?
- All posts saying you had an accident will be replied with equal amounts of sympathy and blame...
- All corners must be claimed without editing the original post
- Any posts with "my mate says..." in should be locked immediately or moved to the RSOC forum
- Dingy shall be auto-notified of any thread containing "Octane booster", "Millers" or "NF"
- All "Why was my thread deleted?" posts shall be automatically locked
- Anyone who used to own a Saxo is not allowed to help in discussions about corners or fuel surge, but frequent references shall be made to him

Any more for any more?
Richard

 

They're good questions Richard, so what are the answers?

Oh and I've got 2000 posts - do I get a medal/prize?

F

 

But Richard

If you take all of that out then what have we got left

Thought that was scoobynet

PS Did I tell you about my race at the weekend with a merc SL500 and a Carrera 4

 

LOL

this is a classic

How about...

- Mis-spelling your name as "webamster" will result in a torrent of deserved abuse!
- The entire concepts and practices of scoobynet can be altered at the whim of any individual member as they see fit, regardless of what the rest of the community wants.

 

And being able to bare up in all circumstances

 

Hoping this is a corner and I don't get fuel surge...

Class thread.

 

Also i really think we need to discuss MPG a bit more often and how many miles per tank we are getting.

LB4

 

But would I be better buying UK or an import and what are the advantages/disadvantages of either

 

"Anyone asking after the Scoobynews CD will get a default reply promising it is only a couple of months from being finished"

This rule shall apply from year 2000 until further notice. A review of this rule is scheduled for January 2010 at which point the management reserves the right to replace the word months with the word years

 

*parking at the supermarket*

 

LOL

A few more:

- Is supermarket fuel ok for my car? (And variants, like 95RON on a P1 etc)
- Stef/PTMW/Harj/random other old-timers will not answer threads asking where they are
- "My scooby is sick Sympathy please!"
- And threads on the second hand value of EU imports will be answered unsympathetically by Pete Lewis
- People who've just sold their car will post "I miss my Scooby " threads
- All group buys must have "*********" on either side of the subject and fizzle out with people not actually coughing up the cash
- All newbies will be welcomed by some people who have nothing else to post and immediately told that their bank accounts will soon be empty because of mods
- All interesting threads in General will be dispatched straight to Drivetrain
- All threads involving John Felstead, David Wallis, R19ket and ChristianR will be moved straight to 22b.com or Projects

Keep 'em coming... definitely a "Classic Thread" in progress

Richard

 

John Banks must always reply 'Get a Knockling' to every post ever posted in Drivetrain. Ever.

 

Everyone must spell 'Knocklink' incorrectly, - 'Knockling'

[Edited by DreXeL - 3/25/2003 7:29:08 PM]

 

LOL - I really needed this today

- every few months we must have a 12 year old new member who claims to own a WRC car and be a test driver for Malcolm Wilson
- The forum list must continue to expand to the point where it takes an ADSL connection 10 minutes to download the front page of the bbs
- Ever now and then, a member must shout to the roof tops, first of all how good a company / person is, and then change to spending the rest of their life telling us how bad they are.
- the webmaster must finally own up to earning £100K a week out of banner advertising
- the webmaster must finally own up to the fact that scoobynet costs 10 pence a year to run "just like my mate's site".
- Anyone who claims to have ordered a 2 skylines, a ferrari, an integra, 22b and a merc that never materialises must still be believed when he tells us about his next purchase

LOL

 

- Overtaking a car on a track day is 100% proof that you are a racing driver

 

LOL Keep 'em coming Si

R

 

- having a post removed / locked should be an absolutely life consuming event for which no ammount of retribution will ever put right.
- It's absolutely FINE to post things that could cause scoobynet legal difficulties.
- The words freedom of speech should be censored!! (I like that one - LOL)

aahh.. I'm just starting to wind down.

 

Then i guess it's ok to put the word 'Scoobynet' in my vids...

 

- Being overtaken on a track day is 100% proof that the driver that overtook you is irresponsible and a dangerous driver and shouldn't be allowed control of a shopping trolley, never mind a car.

- Exhausts can never be loud enough, or large enough. If a Rottweiler can't sleep in your exhaust you should be ashamed of yourself.

- There must be at least one post per month about claiming for scratches on windows under warranty

 

OK OK i get it lol
SI enoughs enough LOL

"the webmaster is allways alowed to take the p1ss "
"never admit you are WRONG "

 

"Right that's it this is my last ever post" type announcements

If you do not get a response to your topic in less than 4.5 micro seconds you have the right to complain about why are your questions always ignored

 

-At least once a week, a thread should be posted by someone wondering what BTTT means.....