why do Jewish women have to shave there hair bold when they get married?
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An Israeli arrives at Heathrow airport. The customs official says to him, "Occupation?"
"No," replies the Israeli. "Just visiting."
At a meeting in a synagogue, Yossef asks the Rabbi, "Rabbi, why do people hate us so much?"
The Rabbi says, "That's an interesting question. How about we all talk about it tomorrow over some vodka. Each one of you should bring a bottle so we can mix it in a big pot and drink and discuss, and the answer will become clear."
Yossef went home and thought to himself, "If everyone else is going to bring a bottle of vodka, if I bring a bottle of water then no-one will notice the difference."
And water was what he brought.
The Rabbi poured all the vodka together in one pot and started mixing it.
Yossef got anxious. "Well, Rabbi, what is the answer to my question? Why do people hate us so much?"
The Rabbi filled a cup and said, "Drink this Yossef."
Yossef did and said, "But this is water!"
"And this is why the people hate us."
"No," replies the Israeli. "Just visiting."
At a meeting in a synagogue, Yossef asks the Rabbi, "Rabbi, why do people hate us so much?"
The Rabbi says, "That's an interesting question. How about we all talk about it tomorrow over some vodka. Each one of you should bring a bottle so we can mix it in a big pot and drink and discuss, and the answer will become clear."
Yossef went home and thought to himself, "If everyone else is going to bring a bottle of vodka, if I bring a bottle of water then no-one will notice the difference."
And water was what he brought.
The Rabbi poured all the vodka together in one pot and started mixing it.
Yossef got anxious. "Well, Rabbi, what is the answer to my question? Why do people hate us so much?"
The Rabbi filled a cup and said, "Drink this Yossef."
Yossef did and said, "But this is water!"
"And this is why the people hate us."
Last edited by bigsinky; 09 July 2012 at 07:43 PM.
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Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
"What a feat!" said the Emperor. "Number Two Samurai, show me what you do."
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?"
Number Three Samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead, schmead," replied the Jewish Samurai. "Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!"
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
"What a feat!" said the Emperor. "Number Two Samurai, show me what you do."
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?"
Number Three Samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead, schmead," replied the Jewish Samurai. "Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!"
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In fact, the prohibition is so strict that one passage in the Talmud states, "in the case of a man, the hand that reaches below the navel should be chopped off." (Niddah 13a)
Thats a bit extreme for knocking one out, there would be no one left to type anything at my place
Thats a bit extreme for knocking one out, there would be no one left to type anything at my place
#56
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Not to mention extremism ffs..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8636455.stm
That makes shaving ones head or having sex through a sheet seem almost normal
Last edited by Devildog; 10 July 2012 at 01:33 PM.
#57
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Was thinking the same. Its not as if Islam isn't full of bizarre (to say the least) concepts and ideologies
Not to mention extremism ffs..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8636455.stm
That makes shaving ones head or having sex through a sheet seem almost normal
Not to mention extremism ffs..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8636455.stm
That makes shaving ones head or having sex through a sheet seem almost normal
http://www.6nobacon.com/2012/05/29/f...nsive-to-jews/
http://news.techeye.net/internet/fre...jews-in-search
Last edited by banny sti; 10 July 2012 at 01:58 PM.
#58
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Originally Posted by Originally Posted by GlesgaKiss
I agree. However, criticise one particular religion and the very same members getting their jollies from ridiculing jewish texts and customs will be all over you.
Hypocrisy?
Hypocrisy?
Was thinking the same. Its not as if Islam isn't full of bizarre (to say the least) concepts and ideologies
Not to mention extremism ffs..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8636455.stm
That makes shaving ones head or having sex through a sheet seem almost normal
Not to mention extremism ffs..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8636455.stm
That makes shaving ones head or having sex through a sheet seem almost normal
Last edited by eggy790; 10 July 2012 at 02:21 PM.