And i'd leave her face looking like an iced bun.

Chop

 

 

I think I must live in a feckin cave - who the frig is she???

You all seem to know her, why don't I?

 

I guess you don't read any papers or watch any TV then

 

I didn't have a clue who she was until I read this thread either. Then again, I watch very little if any 'celeb-related' TV, and don't read any papers except online, when I can even be bothered to do that.

By the looks of it, I haven't been missing out on much

 

I'd leave her biff looking like helmand province


Or a bag of smashed crabs

 

Er, I do.
But obviously not the dumbed down $hite you do.

 

lol you took the line so easily.

 

I did.
It was the that did it....

And let's not pretend you didn't mean it.

 

Frankie Boyle is more of a retard than she is with the tripe he comes out with. In fact he's an utter c**t who thinks being as controversial as he can be makes him funny. I thought he'd disappeared off the TV. Back far too soon then.

 

It's some orange tanned bint of a pretend reality TV show set in Essex- aptly named... The Only Way Is Essex. Or TOWIE as it seems to be called now.

I mad an attempt at watching it when it first started, but I found myself shouting at the TV, a lot!

 

hah I really honestly didn't

 

It is

 

Her "vagazal" has got a bit out of control...

 

Mate, rather than whacking off to tv 'personalities' why not find yourself something else to keep you 'entertained' during those business trips? I'm sure your wife is feeling equally as pervy and god knows what she us up to.....

 

She is depriving a village, in Essex, of an idiot.

 

Was she in celeb big brother? If so I found it hard to listen to her. She sounds like the Catherine Tate character 'am I bovered'. Appaling accent. Almost as bad as Cheryl Coil.

Her rosey cheeks have a Miss Piggy look about them too.

 

I think you are getting a bit carried away with your fantasies of me 'whacking off' to TV personalities - indeed it a quite disturbing.

I am not sure how having a thread about how thick some Essex girl is extrapolates into me whacking off to TV personalities.

I have MUCH more interesting things to whack off to when the moment arises

 

but not many i could post she would be furious even about the clean ones due to aforementioned paranoia, and ex girlfriends have a way of coming back for the odd afternoon so not going to risk spoiling that one sry

 

are you Jordan?

 

Would never get past the wilful dimness, its that "Im pretty so don't have to be smart" thing, she probably isnt that thick but has let her brain shrivel as she has no need to use ti to gain any approval as men just spend all their time trying to **** her, would be a pain in the **** really, probably demanding of material stuff despite any reality of a financial situation.

So if I could get past the stupidity, a little can be endearing but that's taking the **** she is quite pretty but its a bit like a nice car, lets say a Fiat Coupe that someone has then thought would look better with a bodykit, big wheels a spoiler, some extra lamps and a lairy (orange) paint job, some of us don't like overdone, less is definitely sometimes more, Jordan looked ok in the past when not painted up like the figurehead of a massive chavvy boat.

Thing is, Frankie Boyle sometimes tries a bit too hard to be funny, I know, I do it sometimes, I can be funny, have been told enough times and it was a useful trait as some ladies do appreciate it and can overlook I am perhaps not a Brad Pitt rival thing is blokes like me, even if I wanted to wouldnt stand a chance with a woman like that, nothing to do with leagues, she wouldn't understand me, irony, humour or anything other than shoes, gossip and showing off, so she will be after a very good looking bloke with loads of money that is a dull as her.

All assumptions but she has done nothing to disprove it, there are loads of them about, remember chatting to Air Hostesses when on the pull back in the day, jesus they are some snotty bitches.

 

There was one on fccuk recently just like that

 

Thick? yes.
Sexy? yes.

Perfect for me.

 

But girls that thick spend all of their time asking you what you are doing and why.

"You're not putting that in there are you?"

STFU!

 

You old dog!

Does it bear more than a passing resemblance to a flump for the first ten minutes before it kindles into life!?

 

Flump

 

Watched her on the Buzzcocks, she makes a retarded monkey seem intelligent. What on earth is she doing on tv? She should be locked up in a mental institution.

 

EFA: Because thats how she speaks.

 

 

I was engaged to one quite a few years back (she wasnt one when I met her), intelligent to start with, but the cabin pressure squeezed her brain into the size of a pea & increased her bitch level to beyond my tolerance point, she had to go!