TelBoy

It was horribly over-dramatic, just say it

JTaylor

Not horribly.

tony de wonderful

Closed below 5000.

TelBoy

This made me laugh

Chuck Norris and the Financial Crisis!!!

Chuck Norris doesn’t mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn’t hedge . He waits.

Chuck Norris thinks Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal

Chuck Norris trades on fear and greed simultaneously.

Chuck Norris can borrow at the discount window

Chuck Norris can sell $300bln in high yield loans before lunch

Chuck Norris’s curves are never inverted

Chuck Norris doesn’t target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.

The Chuck Norris dollar buys 3 Canadian dollars, and trades at parity with the euro.

Chuck Norris doesn’t supply collateral, only collateral damage.

The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.

When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises.

Chuck Norris has already banked his dividend payment from Northern Rock Plc.

Chuck Norris doesn’t borrow at the Fed’s discount window. Chuck Norris LENDS at the Fed’s discount window.

There is no market regulator. Just a list of securities Chuck Norris allows to be traded.

Chuck Norris doesn’t buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation.

Chuck Norris charges the Bank of England a penalty rate for borrowing - And guarantees its deposits.

Chuck Norris gets ALL of his funding from the asset-backed commercial paper market.

When the U.S. economy sneezes, the world catches a cold. When Chuck Norris sneezes, the U.S. economy catches pneumonia.

Chuck Norris isn’t a market maker; he IS the market.

Chuck Norris subprime collateralized debt obligations still trade at 100 percent of face value.

alloy

Yes it did, but thats only significant to the media who dont know their **** from their elbow when it comes down to the markets. Yesterday closed 5-6 points shy of the 4950 level we talked about being significant, although below it it is marginal especially after such a volatile day

Chip

Well I'm still waiting for everything to collapse. So come on all you experts when is it going to happen.

dpb

Sold 2 of my shares for smallish losses yesterday and this morning mainly out of frustration

Now of course theyre romping upwards

Whats different about this particular sticking plaster on the euro !!

GlesgaKiss

Crisis averted. We're all rich!!!

Always the way, me lud! Buy and hold... buy and hold.

hodgy0_2

remember - markets can stay irrational, longer than you can stay solvent

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

Did anyone else jump on Thomas Cook? 50% in 24 hours.

Just sold, but think I should have held my bottle a little longer.

dpb

good for you , quite a dangerous stratergy given the state of everything at the moment

GlesgaKiss

Hello all,

Happy new year.

Afren getting a lift today (finally!) with better than expected production figures.

Could this be the start of a well-deserved stock market rally? Best to just forget the troubles of the last year, I reckon, and make this a good one. Europe? What Europe? This time next year we'll be millionaires.

Not forgetting the bet, Trout. That's going to make up the first part of that million.

What about Vedanta? Seems to have been badly beaten up in recent times. Might be worth a look.

dpb

ahh **** , Crnd didnt go under and i could have made all my cash back

GlesgaKiss

Tesco.

LeeMac

iTrader: (1)

+1

Skoobie Dhu

iTrader: (3)

Still rising, my 2nd largest holding

Held 1st tranche since 46p, 2nd tranche since 80p, but I'll gloss over my 3rd tranche @ 140p. Soon be back above 140p though - some further good news with this years drilling and the Kurdi PSC should see these well above 200p

Oil sector on a bit of a recovery - thankfully

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Well, three years of 250 a month and my Sharesave has finished, nine grand doubled in three years and the shares well down on the high, have taken three grand out and am selling my car and having a bit of a change. Free money, cant beat it.

GlesgaKiss

You must still have a pretty decent average! My average is 85p.

Afren is actually my largest holding - had them for a few years now. Managed to transfer the lot into my investment ISA, so the gains (if/when they come again) will be tax free.

GlesgaKiss

No you can't. Well done! Might as well enjoy it.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Not the sums some see on here and its been a bit of a slog putting it away but its looking good, sold three and a bit grands worth to have a change of car, left some in and just managed to get into the next one, forst one was 5.06 as a buy price, thats the one that matured and the new one is 6.74, currently tranding at just under a tenner, factor in (on the first one anyway) the bonus shares (i.e. interest) at 9.80 they doubled in value, very happy though they did hit 12.50 at one point last year but my dad always told me to take a profit and be grateful for it, so sold some, got a bit of cash and am now happy to let them sit there.

Sharesaves are great as effectively you get to watch the market for three years and dont have to buy at the end, you get to play Gordon Gecko for a few quid and learn a bit about trading with very little risk.

I see money as a trade off between enjoying it and planning for the future.

GlesgaKiss

They do seem to be a really good idea from what I've heard about them.

dj219957

complete newb to this - registered on london stock exchange website but how do i buy shares without using a broker? got £500 i want to have a punt with.

Chip

Banks will do it or why not open a trading account with your bank or TD Waterhouse as it makes it a lot easier to trade that way.

Chip

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

I use share.com, I found them to be very easy to use.

dj219957

thanks guys