Mum just dropped a bombshell "found a lump"
30 March 2011, 08:41 AM
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Yesterday was a cracking example, I took time out and she "stepped in". Within an hour of leaving home I got a text to say a nurse had called to arrange a home visit, what should she do
But I am hoping to get away for 4-5 days next week regardless of all this. Time for me and reality check for her.
The immediate issue is in hand now, with mum wanting the cash card back to me now, so I'm curious now to see how my sister reacts to that.
Silly little things fascinate me, such as the arranged 2-3pm visit she is meant to make daily. If she comes at 12 to let the carer in in my absence, she then doesn't bother with the later visit, so constant care is not there. Just seems she sees it as a formality and not a care duty.
30 March 2011, 09:40 AM
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A slightly more adult approach to the situation....
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...ing-world.html
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...ing-world.html
30 March 2011, 12:51 PM
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Just heard some very sad news regarding this thread. My thoughts are with the person and their family at this time.
Puts things in perspective.
Get home safe mate, and be strong.
Puts things in perspective.
Get home safe mate, and be strong.
30 March 2011, 01:08 PM
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With every good there's a bad so they say!! As you know my Dad kicked Cancer's ***. And as you can imagine, we were all over the moon. Especially my Dad and his partner. His partner lost her 33 year old son last week! He had an heart attack whilst undergoing an heart by-pass op
Lif's a b*astard!!
30 March 2011, 04:47 PM
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oh mate that is terrible news how sad.
With every good there's a bad so they say!! As you know my Dad kicked Cancer's ***. And as you can imagine, we were all over the moon. Especially my Dad and his partner. His partner lost her 33 year old son last week! He had an heart attack whilst undergoing an heart by-pass op
Lif's a b*astard!!
how sad.With every good there's a bad so they say!! As you know my Dad kicked Cancer's ***. And as you can imagine, we were all over the moon. Especially my Dad and his partner. His partner lost her 33 year old son last week! He had an heart attack whilst undergoing an heart by-pass op
Lif's a b*astard!!
02 April 2011, 08:58 AM
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Seems that things are changing for mum again now, with her memory starting to be affected and her thought process struggling a little too.
Blogged the info here.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...s-started.html
Could be me over reading the situation, but a few indicators are popping up now that at very least need the doctor to look at.
Blogged the info here.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...s-started.html
Could be me over reading the situation, but a few indicators are popping up now that at very least need the doctor to look at.
02 April 2011, 09:43 AM
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Well memory loss comes with age and nothing can be done about it. It is not necessarily dementia Snazy. I dont know your mum's age of course.
It could be associated wirh her illness of course. All you can do really is to ask the doctor anyway as you say. You have to expect changes as time passes.
Les
It could be associated wirh her illness of course. All you can do really is to ask the doctor anyway as you say. You have to expect changes as time passes.
Les
02 April 2011, 11:37 AM
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Well memory loss comes with age and nothing can be done about it. It is not necessarily dementia Snazy. I dont know your mum's age of course.
It could be associated wirh her illness of course. All you can do really is to ask the doctor anyway as you say. You have to expect changes as time passes.
Les
It could be associated wirh her illness of course. All you can do really is to ask the doctor anyway as you say. You have to expect changes as time passes.
Les
Mum is 73 now.
Could indeed be to do with the brain cancer, but again don't want to jump to conclusions. She has appointments at the hospital next week and the week after.
02 April 2011, 07:03 PM
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Cheers Will, head held high.
Nick, will chat on BBM mate, but don't feel he is acting strange. I know a few families who have coped the same way, usually the head of the family wanting everything gone, no reminders to upset them or set them off.
Its not nice for other family members, but is a normal method of coping.I think a compromise needs to be reached. Maybe putting things into storage for a while is an option for you?
Hope things get sorted out and it doesn't cause bad feeling.
Nick, will chat on BBM mate, but don't feel he is acting strange. I know a few families who have coped the same way, usually the head of the family wanting everything gone, no reminders to upset them or set them off.
Its not nice for other family members, but is a normal method of coping.I think a compromise needs to be reached. Maybe putting things into storage for a while is an option for you?
Hope things get sorted out and it doesn't cause bad feeling.
04 April 2011, 11:49 AM
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14 April 2011, 11:56 PM
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Imagine having it yourself... and then reading this thread. Not only are you dealing with massive self mortality issues but also the perception of loved ones to your forthcoming demise, that's a tough hand to play, for any poker player.
21 April 2011, 09:06 AM
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28 April 2011, 02:00 PM
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Well after a few requests from mum to go into the hospice, I put the wheels in motion, and yesterday morning she was collected by ambulance.
After being in there for 24 hours, here is how it's going.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...ne-day-on.html
In other news my sister has taken it upon herself to phone my aunt to tell her I am always away from home now, and not looking after mum anymore, and she is left struggling to cope with her four kids and the duty of looking after mum with 4 visits a day, and all the other responsibilities. So needless to say when I went to see my aunt last Sunday, I got a frosty reception. Just as I start to get used t something she does she pulls another trick out the bag, but even this one shocked me.
After being in there for 24 hours, here is how it's going.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...ne-day-on.html
In other news my sister has taken it upon herself to phone my aunt to tell her I am always away from home now, and not looking after mum anymore, and she is left struggling to cope with her four kids and the duty of looking after mum with 4 visits a day, and all the other responsibilities. So needless to say when I went to see my aunt last Sunday, I got a frosty reception. Just as I start to get used t something she does she pulls another trick out the bag, but even this one shocked me.
Last edited by Snazy; 28 April 2011 at 02:02 PM.
29 April 2011, 02:08 PM
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And just to add to all of this my young friend Graeme has just passed after a long battle with many ailments but finally losing the battle with bowel cancer. RIP Graeme, under 30 is far too young.
29 April 2011, 04:12 PM
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I hope your mum will stay in the Hospice Snazy. Its the best place for her to be as much as anything so that you can have a more settled life for yourself. Something I reckon you really need. As you say, you are already seeing the difference. The people in the Hospice are well qualified to look after her as you have already seen.
Very difficult to cope with someone who can be so awkward and difficult to please, mostly due to her illness I imagine.
Hopefully you will get a chance of some real rest now and that will make it so much easier when you are with your mum.
Very sorry to hear of your friend's death.
Les
Very difficult to cope with someone who can be so awkward and difficult to please, mostly due to her illness I imagine.
Hopefully you will get a chance of some real rest now and that will make it so much easier when you are with your mum.
Very sorry to hear of your friend's death.
Les
30 April 2011, 08:35 AM
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Cheers guys.
I don't think she will be staying in Les, she is already showing interest in leaving. The physio saw her yesterday and said there is nothing wrong with the muscle tone in her legs, more a neuro problem with the right leg dragging.
Other than that, she is eating well now, but still having problems getting rid of it all so that's the next thing they wanted to work on. But I think the end game is to get her comfortable then discharge her to either the local care home, or indeed home.
It's nice to see her a little more relaxed and active though. And I am still getting up for the carer in the morning. Obviously there isn't one, but my body hasnt figured that out yet.
I don't think she will be staying in Les, she is already showing interest in leaving. The physio saw her yesterday and said there is nothing wrong with the muscle tone in her legs, more a neuro problem with the right leg dragging.
Other than that, she is eating well now, but still having problems getting rid of it all so that's the next thing they wanted to work on. But I think the end game is to get her comfortable then discharge her to either the local care home, or indeed home.
It's nice to see her a little more relaxed and active though. And I am still getting up for the carer in the morning. Obviously there isn't one, but my body hasnt figured that out yet.
23 May 2011, 10:59 AM
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Well a brief update. Just getting ready to take mum to the GP for an emergency appointment. The past 72 hours have not been great, with her mental state getting progressively worse over that period. Confusion about times, carers, medications and now very distressed about not being able to remember a simple word,which has stopped her dead in her tracks.
She cant remember why she wants to remember this word, or what it relates to, but it's causing upset.
With me recently attempting to return to work after her release from the hospice s is bad news for progress. She had originally assured everyone she would not move around the house without someone here, but changed that at the weekend making herself some food just after the carer left.
My sister is actually being hands on now and helping where she can, albeit in her weird and wonderfully confused way.
Let's see what the GP says, is this the brain tumour progressing????
She cant remember why she wants to remember this word, or what it relates to, but it's causing upset.
With me recently attempting to return to work after her release from the hospice s is bad news for progress. She had originally assured everyone she would not move around the house without someone here, but changed that at the weekend making herself some food just after the carer left.
My sister is actually being hands on now and helping where she can, albeit in her weird and wonderfully confused way.
Let's see what the GP says, is this the brain tumour progressing????