contact you're sister and tell her you're going away for a few weeks and you hope she enjoy's the stress of looking after everything.

 

That's exactly what I have done lol. And plan to get away for a week. It's about time she understood a little better.
Yesterday was a cracking example, I took time out and she "stepped in". Within an hour of leaving home I got a text to say a nurse had called to arrange a home visit, what should she do

But I am hoping to get away for 4-5 days next week regardless of all this. Time for me and reality check for her.

The immediate issue is in hand now, with mum wanting the cash card back to me now, so I'm curious now to see how my sister reacts to that.

Silly little things fascinate me, such as the arranged 2-3pm visit she is meant to make daily. If she comes at 12 to let the carer in in my absence, she then doesn't bother with the later visit, so constant care is not there. Just seems she sees it as a formality and not a care duty.

 

A slightly more adult approach to the situation....
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...ing-world.html

 

Just heard some very sad news regarding this thread. My thoughts are with the person and their family at this time.
Puts things in perspective.

Get home safe mate, and be strong.

 

With every good there's a bad so they say!! As you know my Dad kicked Cancer's ***. And as you can imagine, we were all over the moon. Especially my Dad and his partner. His partner lost her 33 year old son last week! He had an heart attack whilst undergoing an heart by-pass op

Lif's a b*astard!!

 

oh mate that is terrible news how sad.

 

Seems that things are changing for mum again now, with her memory starting to be affected and her thought process struggling a little too.

Blogged the info here.
http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...s-started.html

Could be me over reading the situation, but a few indicators are popping up now that at very least need the doctor to look at.

 

Well memory loss comes with age and nothing can be done about it. It is not necessarily dementia Snazy. I dont know your mum's age of course.

It could be associated wirh her illness of course. All you can do really is to ask the doctor anyway as you say. You have to expect changes as time passes.

Les

 

Yeah I realise tha mate, was not suggesting that's all it can be, but got to take it into account. Trying not to be blinkered about an possibilities right now.
Mum is 73 now.

Could indeed be to do with the brain cancer, but again don't want to jump to conclusions. She has appointments at the hospital next week and the week after.

 

finding it very hard after my mum died have had to get rid off her belongings as my dad wants them gone its upsetting him

 

Michael, chin up mate. And do remember to look after your self bud.

Nick, don't know what to say fella. But be strong for your Dad mate, and your self.

 

Cheers Will, head held high.

Nick, will chat on BBM mate, but don't feel he is acting strange. I know a few families who have coped the same way, usually the head of the family wanting everything gone, no reminders to upset them or set them off.
Its not nice for other family members, but is a normal method of coping.I think a compromise needs to be reached. Maybe putting things into storage for a while is an option for you?

Hope things get sorted out and it doesn't cause bad feeling.

 

They have drugs to slow dementia down Snazy, so it is worth a check on that account.

Les

 

It's hard Nick, I lost my dad only a few weeks ago, my mum gave me ALL his clothes as she couldn't have them in the house

 

same here emptied the house now very upsetting getting rid off my mums clothes im coping but no one else is goin doctors now to get a sick note dads not coping funeral thursday then ive got to sort out the ashhes which means a trip to grenada were they are goin to be scatterred at 1800 hours when the bells toll

 

I am sorry that you have got all those things to sort out as well as all the problems Nick. Hope it all sorts out as easily as possible.

Les

 

Imagine having it yourself... and then reading this thread. Not only are you dealing with massive self mortality issues but also the perception of loved ones to your forthcoming demise, that's a tough hand to play, for any poker player.

 

I hope things are going ok at your end Snazy.

Les

 

http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...ge-please.html

Cheers Les there is an update. Testing times.

 

ill bbm you mate take care

 

Only just seen this Snazy,my computer went TU.

Its an even more difficult time now for you and her of course now. I hope it will settle down a bit for both of you.

Les

 

Well after a few requests from mum to go into the hospice, I put the wheels in motion, and yesterday morning she was collected by ambulance.

After being in there for 24 hours, here is how it's going.

http://michaelsnasdell.blogspot.com/...ne-day-on.html

In other news my sister has taken it upon herself to phone my aunt to tell her I am always away from home now, and not looking after mum anymore, and she is left struggling to cope with her four kids and the duty of looking after mum with 4 visits a day, and all the other responsibilities. So needless to say when I went to see my aunt last Sunday, I got a frosty reception. Just as I start to get used t something she does she pulls another trick out the bag, but even this one shocked me.

 

Hi Snazy, glad to hear your mums positive again, and your feeling better as well.

They will look after your mum, whilst letting you recharge your batteries


MArt

 

And just to add to all of this my young friend Graeme has just passed after a long battle with many ailments but finally losing the battle with bowel cancer. RIP Graeme, under 30 is far too young.

 

Thats not good news, especially for one so young.

How are you holding up?


Mart

 

I hope your mum will stay in the Hospice Snazy. Its the best place for her to be as much as anything so that you can have a more settled life for yourself. Something I reckon you really need. As you say, you are already seeing the difference. The people in the Hospice are well qualified to look after her as you have already seen.

Very difficult to cope with someone who can be so awkward and difficult to please, mostly due to her illness I imagine.

Hopefully you will get a chance of some real rest now and that will make it so much easier when you are with your mum.

Very sorry to hear of your friend's death.

Les

 

very sad to hear off your friends death take care snazy

 

Cheers guys.
I don't think she will be staying in Les, she is already showing interest in leaving. The physio saw her yesterday and said there is nothing wrong with the muscle tone in her legs, more a neuro problem with the right leg dragging.
Other than that, she is eating well now, but still having problems getting rid of it all so that's the next thing they wanted to work on. But I think the end game is to get her comfortable then discharge her to either the local care home, or indeed home.

It's nice to see her a little more relaxed and active though. And I am still getting up for the carer in the morning. Obviously there isn't one, but my body hasnt figured that out yet.

 

All understood Snazy, best to relax as much as you can while you have the chance then.

Les

 

Well a brief update. Just getting ready to take mum to the GP for an emergency appointment. The past 72 hours have not been great, with her mental state getting progressively worse over that period. Confusion about times, carers, medications and now very distressed about not being able to remember a simple word,which has stopped her dead in her tracks.
She cant remember why she wants to remember this word, or what it relates to, but it's causing upset.
With me recently attempting to return to work after her release from the hospice s is bad news for progress. She had originally assured everyone she would not move around the house without someone here, but changed that at the weekend making herself some food just after the carer left.

My sister is actually being hands on now and helping where she can, albeit in her weird and wonderfully confused way.

Let's see what the GP says, is this the brain tumour progressing????