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Mum just dropped a bombshell "found a lump"

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Old 17 September 2009, 09:10 PM
  #271  
The Dogs B******s
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Originally Posted by mr_impreza
Bit early you tit
I know,retard
Old 17 September 2009, 09:49 PM
  #272  
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lol its ok its wasnt lost on me mate

Cheers guys
Old 17 September 2009, 09:53 PM
  #273  
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All the best from me
Old 17 September 2009, 10:00 PM
  #274  
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Originally Posted by The Dogs B******s
I know,retard
What a ****!!!!!!!!!!!!
Old 17 September 2009, 10:02 PM
  #275  
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Originally Posted by mr_impreza
What a ****!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last edited by The Dogs B******s; 18 September 2009 at 12:13 PM.
Old 17 September 2009, 10:52 PM
  #276  
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Now now kiddies

Put it to bed
Old 21 February 2010, 12:26 PM
  #277  
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Well here we are again, almost 2 years to the original day....

Had a conversation with mum yesterday while driving to the shops.
Over recent weeks her health has been questionable, with her breathing becoming really bad, her energy levels dropping badly, and her attitude towards fighting really starting to fade.
Rarely goes out anymore, refuses to accept that keeping active is a must to keep her mobile, and just prefers to sit around in the kitchen or infront of the TV all day.

Took her to the doctors last week for her breathing etc, and the doctor put her on some new meds, which she is trying, but already shunning saying the side effects are making things worse (she reads all the inserts then adopts all the side effects.) So is already quitting taking some.

So yesterday, while talking to her about returning to the doctors for a follow up about the meds, as he requested. She mentions "things are getting worse again". At first I assumed that she meant her breathing, as her last cancer appointment she told me went well and they were happy with her.

HOWEVER...
Yesterday she told me that the lumps were coming back and getting big, fast. Naturally I told her I will call the doctor and hospital first thing Monday and get her seen, and asked when she noticed it was getting worse again. To my suprise she then started telling me how the doctor who saw her last had not noticed or examined her properly, and it had actually been getting bigger since before then. This was December!

So once again she has left it a couple of months before mentioning it, grrr. But I can understand that.

This morning we had the "when im gone" conversation again, and she wants me to start making arrangements for everything again. Something tells me that this time she is not going to accept any more treatment. Her attitude towards medication has really taken a knock over the last couple of years, and I really dont see her wanting to go through chemo again now.

From the date of the first post, we were not expecting her to make Xmas. The fact that she has made 2, and is about to have another birthday is truly a blessing, and we have the massive advances in medication and treatments to thank for that. Such a worthy cause, and I will keep giving for my life time to these organisation.

So now, its time to get her to a doctor tomorrow, get a prognosis made, and start making any arrangements that I may need to make etc.

Just thought I would share the update with those who have followed the progress. Thanks for reading.

*steam blown off
Old 21 February 2010, 05:32 PM
  #278  
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Must be so hard for you mate. All through this you have been a rock for your Mum, she must be very proud of you.

Hope things all work out for the best,

Pete
Old 21 February 2010, 05:55 PM
  #279  
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Cheers mate, must say im a little confuddled at the moment with it all, til I know whats actually happening from the doctors.

lol @ proud, right now there is a lot of anger and frustration being directed at me, all the "you dont understand", "you dont care", "you dont know how I feel" and so on, but its all to be expected, she is gonna die, and she knows it. I can appreciate that must be a rather emotional thing to go through.

The battle at the moment is making sure she is taking the right meds to make her a comfortable as possible.

Hopefully we will find out Mon/Tues what the score is, and can go from there. In the meantime I have to establish where I stand in the whole matter. A few complexities to be over come.

Thanks Pete
Old 21 February 2010, 06:43 PM
  #280  
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Hope you get some positive news from the doctors.
Old 21 February 2010, 07:01 PM
  #281  
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Originally Posted by ScoobyWon't
Hope you get some positive news from the doctors.
Cheers mate.

Tbh I think she would be happy with having a little more energy right now. But she is in the vicious cycle of not getting exercise because she gets tired, getting tired easier because she gets no exercise. Although trying to explain this and encourage her is not quite as simple.

Once we know whats going on, I can start trying to make adjustments again to make things comfortable for her. Hoping the doctors will see her tomorrow at some point.
Old 21 February 2010, 08:23 PM
  #282  
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It must be hard fot you mate, but from her point of view she maybe wants to be drug free.

My friend lost her fight against cancer a few months ago and as much as it hurt me to see her like that, I knew she wasn't giving up, or refusing treatment, She was just fed up with feeling so ill from all the intervention.

She had 18 months on top of the 6 months she was told originally, and she spent her time wisely.

I am sure you will be there to support her no matter what she wants to do.

Chin up.
Old 21 February 2010, 08:32 PM
  #283  
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Na I totally get that mate, thats why this time I would not pressure her at all to go down the meds route again. She "gave in" to my moaning last time, and did 2 rounds of chemo and a round of radio, and went through hell for it.
Pretty sure she would rather NOT go through that again, and just see if out til the end. Not sure she realises just how painful that can be though. She had enough pain when they ruptured last time.

She has had 2 years now, when they didnt think she would make a year, but that was based on NO treatment. Im sure its bought her more time, and just hope she feels it was worth the agony. She has seen a grandchild born, and my sister agreeing to marry, so thats quite special for them all.

If its bad news when we see the doctors, as long as she is rational, and will be in control of the pain, I will back her 100% as long as she has thought it out, and the options are not favourable.

Will give her a nice birthday on Tuesday, and take things as they come as the doctors start to make their calls.

Cheers for the feedback
Old 21 February 2010, 08:37 PM
  #284  
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She sounds very brave, and as long as you help her to stay strong I am sure all will be fine.

Unfortunatly it's the type of thing that cannot be easily controlled with (or without meds really), so my only advice is always be prepared, and make each day special and memorable.
Old 21 February 2010, 08:41 PM
  #285  
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Originally Posted by Hysteria1983
She sounds very brave, and as long as you help her to stay strong I am sure all will be fine.

Unfortunatly it's the type of thing that cannot be easily controlled with (or without meds really), so my only advice is always be prepared, and make each day special and memorable.
Totally mate, thats what I have tried to do from day 1. Might have slipped a little recently and paid a little too much attention to myself, but im back on track now.

Sadly from realising she had cancer she had made "awkward" decisions, which have not helped her. First ignoring it for 3 months or so, then refusing ANY treatment at all for a month or so more. Eventually agreeing to chemo, then later radio.
Dr was positive she had a fair chance of a good time if she agreed to the op, but not understanding how its all done, she refused.

I shall as ever, stand as strong as I can, do all I can to make life good for her, and take care of all the things that are required of me. And in the background make arrangements for the inevitable.
Old 21 February 2010, 11:42 PM
  #286  
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All the best, Snazy. Hope it goes well.
Old 22 February 2010, 12:31 AM
  #287  
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Originally Posted by Snazy
Cheers mate, must say im a little confuddled at the moment with it all, til I know whats actually happening from the doctors.

lol @ proud, right now there is a lot of anger and frustration being directed at me, all the "you dont understand", "you dont care", "you dont know how I feel" and so on, but its all to be expected, she is gonna die, and she knows it. I can appreciate that must be a rather emotional thing to go through.

The battle at the moment is making sure she is taking the right meds to make her a comfortable as possible.

Hopefully we will find out Mon/Tues what the score is, and can go from there. In the meantime I have to establish where I stand in the whole matter. A few complexities to be over come.

Thanks Pete
Fingers crossed for how it goes at the doctors. Hopefully they may have ways to help her further, and worse case, make her comfortable.

She is obviously a fighter and has come so far with this battle.

As for being proud. She will be going through alot of feelings in her head some which she may not be able to express properly, but I'm sure she is proud of you and how you've stepped up to help her so much.

All you can do is continue to be there for her, listen to what the doctors say and what she wants and go from there. You need time for yourself as well.

Good luck for the next couple of days and keep us up to date. Take care.
Old 22 February 2010, 12:55 AM
  #288  
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I think they'll be positive results Snazy, from what you've typed she sounds like a fighter to me.From what i can gather shes just panicky about it.Tell us the results from the docs dude, when they are in.
Old 22 February 2010, 01:09 AM
  #289  
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Originally Posted by Snazy
Might have slipped a little recently and paid a little too much attention to myself.
That is one thing you haven't done.

You've posted on this thread for a long time, you've showed the support you are willing to give, even when you have your own health to deal with. You have nothing to be sorry about at all.

As much as a sore point as it may be to ask, but has your sister even thought about this?I expect she's too wrapped up in her own little world.

As I previously said, I hope you get good news, if you need an ear, I can be on messenger or the end of a pm.
Old 22 February 2010, 01:53 AM
  #290  
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Yeah & take care of yourselves.
Old 22 February 2010, 07:22 AM
  #291  
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Originally Posted by Snazy
right now there is a lot of anger and frustration being directed at me, all the "you dont understand", "you dont care", "you dont know how I feel" and so on, but its all to be expected, she is gonna die, and she knows it. I can appreciate that must be a rather emotional thing to go through.
It's natural Snazy for your mum to take her frustrations out on those closest to her. As previously mentioned she is proud of you, she wont say it to you but to everyone else she knows, I remember when my Dad passed away all his mates told me how proud he was of me, very touching, till tugs a heart string 15 years on.

All the best

FM
Old 22 February 2010, 08:59 AM
  #292  
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Thank you everyone for your kind words.
Im just waiting on Oncology to open to take calls, so I can call them up and get them to see her. They were very quick last time, with an appointment the next day, but I wont hold my breath

Originally Posted by Lisawrx
Fingers crossed for how it goes at the doctors. Hopefully they may have ways to help her further, and worse case, make her comfortable.

She is obviously a fighter and has come so far with this battle.

As for being proud. She will be going through alot of feelings in her head some which she may not be able to express properly, but I'm sure she is proud of you and how you've stepped up to help her so much.

All you can do is continue to be there for her, listen to what the doctors say and what she wants and go from there. You need time for yourself as well.

Good luck for the next couple of days and keep us up to date. Take care.
She is a fighter indeed, but I dont think she realises that herself. She has been very brave to endure the treatments she has undergone, and given into pressure from me to do so. Thats one hell of a sacrifice she has made to keep me happy, and I am lost for words on how that makes me feel.

Im sure she is proud in there somewhere. But in reality its not about self gratification for me, I dont need praise or thanks to keep trying to help her. Helping others comes naturally, so helping my own mother... no problem

Originally Posted by ScoobyWon't
That is one thing you haven't done.

You've posted on this thread for a long time, you've showed the support you are willing to give, even when you have your own health to deal with. You have nothing to be sorry about at all.

As much as a sore point as it may be to ask, but has your sister even thought about this?I expect she's too wrapped up in her own little world.

As I previously said, I hope you get good news, if you need an ear, I can be on messenger or the end of a pm.
Cheers fella, appreciate that
Naaa I know, maybe just dropped the baton for a second. Thats not self pity or anything, just a realisation for me. Its not caused any harm, but I let things almost become "normal" and routine, so lost track of where this was all going.
My sister, im not sure, she seems maybe a little more proactive about it all.
When I told her mum had admitted the lumps coming back, she first said it was not a suprise, as mum had recently asked her to come over to help her get some bits in order. Then went on to say if I booked an appointment for mum, she would go with her.

Thats an improvement in a certain respect I guess, but im disappointed that she didnt click when mum was asking about helping her do things etc.

As for her going to the appointment, I dont think her taking the baby into a clinic like that is the best of ideas, although if she can get childcare, I would not mind her coming to the appointment. Due to her "oh well" attitude I dont like her going to the appointments (although she rarely offered to) because she is never willing to administer the kick in the pants.

Once mum was in casualty, taken by ambulance, for her COPD (breathing) After a few hours mum says she wants to go home, I said no no no. Called my sister and asked for reinforcment. She turned up, mum said "I just want to go home" and sister said, "oh fair enough, I will help you get dressed"

Originally Posted by Funkii Munkii
It's natural Snazy for your mum to take her frustrations out on those closest to her. As previously mentioned she is proud of you, she wont say it to you but to everyone else she knows, I remember when my Dad passed away all his mates told me how proud he was of me, very touching, till tugs a heart string 15 years on.

All the best

FM
Sorry to hear about your father, I hope I have such touching memories too when the time comes. Me and my mum have always been a little closed door with each other. Its only since she told me about the lumps in '08 that those doors have opened up and that we have a proper relationship, which I am thankful for.

I totally accept getting shouted at, moaned at, blamed etc, its my job, being both male and her son lol. But seriously, I am not waiting for her thanks or anything, her being here is the biggest gift I can get from all this.

Its just nice to blow off steam to the world after a long day of grief from her. Rather than directing it back at her. Can be a little frustrating at times when she wont listen to reason, but thats family, women, mothers for you lol
Old 22 February 2010, 09:17 AM
  #293  
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Right, thats that then.

Thursday 4th March is the date.
They already had the appointment booked for her on that date, and are unable to bring it forward at all (which I fully accept as its always busy in there)
When I asked her about going back to this hospital she said she hates the doctor there, and all he ever wants to do is operate.
In the past she has been fine about seeing him, so im guessing as he is the one who made the initial diagnosis, and also found the other cancer in the other side, she just does not want to see the gloom man again. Understandable.

So lets see what becomes of that.

In the meantime, next job is to get her seen by her GP for her review on her COPD medication like she was meant to last week. And maybe get him to see her about the regrowth too.
Old 22 February 2010, 09:59 AM
  #294  
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Change of plan. Off to the GP's in a minute.
When I told her about her new appointment with the doctor at Oncology she had a moan, said he is always going on about how much pain she will be in, and that she is already in pain.... which she didnt mention before.
So we are off to see the GP about it soon, see if he can refer her or give her something for the time being.
Old 22 February 2010, 10:44 AM
  #295  
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I can't say how sorry I am to hear about it Snazy. I think we were all keeping our fingers crossed here and when we heard nothing more we were thinking that all was well.

I hope that the doctors etc can do something to sort it out and to make her feel a lot better too. That might help her to adopt a positive attitude herself.

The sister of yours need a bomb let off under her to shake her out of the little world that she lives in. I only hope that she will come to her senses and accept her responsibilities!

You can be sure that you and your mum have full SN backing and we look forward to some better news.

Les
Old 22 February 2010, 11:46 AM
  #296  
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Cheers Les.
I think my sister is slowly but surely waking up to it all now, although what she is thinking is still up for interpretation.

Doctor has given mum more stuff for her COPD, some pain killers, and antibiotics for her chest infection.
They have discussed the cancer, and he feels it best for her to see the specialist at the pre arranged time/date to discuss it further.

Main thing is, the painkillers take the edge of it, and hopefully she can have a little more freedom for a bit.

Now if she would just tell, and go and see her sister in Wales! Grrrr
Old 22 February 2010, 12:08 PM
  #297  
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Sending your mum to Wales? I thought you wanted to help her, not punish her!
Old 22 February 2010, 01:12 PM
  #298  
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Originally Posted by ScoobyWon't
Sending your mum to Wales? I thought you wanted to help her, not punish her!
lol sending her back to where she came from originally
Better than sending her to Coventry lol

Her sister is not in great shape to travel, and has no one to bring her to London.

They both lost their other sister to cancer without ever seeing her while she was ill. My mum holds a grudge against Joan (her sister) for not telling her when she found out Mary (deceased sister) had cancer. So is sort of punishing her by not telling her.... Even though they speak almost every night.
Old 04 March 2010, 09:50 AM
  #299  
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Right here we go... today is the day.
Just getting ready to leave for the hospital now, so I thought I would post a load of stuff and blow off some steam.

Last few days mum has become worse, very tired, lathargic, and very weak. She decided that the meds she had were no good, so stopped taking them. Needless to say she has slowly got worse with her breathing and mobility.
A couple of days ago I told her I was booking the GP and would take her there. She said she was "too ill" to go and see the GP (I thought thats WHY you went to see a doctor) and would probably not go to the hospital either.

When I got in last night she mentioned she had not phoned the hospital, when I asked what for she replied, to cancel my appointment. Of course I was unhappy about it so I talked her round and she finally agreed to go. So this mornings refusal to go was a bit of a shock. She said first thing she was not going, so I went to gather my thoughts and walk the dogs. When I got home she was back in bed. She had had a bath, coffee, cigarette etc, but too poorly to go to the hospital!

So I have just had a chat with her about it, promised I am not going to try and make her accept treatments etc, but just want to make sure she is as comfortable and safe as possible.
It was at this point she mentioned she had almost passed out getting out of the bath. Which just reinforces my concerns and case for her to see the doctors.

So, off we go to oncology, and will see what the rest of the day brings. Need to get her safe and stable if nothing else.
Old 04 March 2010, 10:09 AM
  #300  
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You are going through Hell with it all Snazy, and your mum will be too. Just hope she will come round to accept the treatment and that it comes out satisfactorily in the end.

Les


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