Do I have the legal right ?
01 August 2008, 10:12 AM
#421
That kind of crap I can deal with, its when the deeper, more hurtful stuff is slung around that I get mad.However, my youngest is 5 and whilst he does see stuff, he is not called space cadet boy for fun
I only give thanks that he is mostly oblivious to all the styuff that goes on and I explained to him that when grown ups argue in the street and get crazy, then the police will tell us off. My eldest son is a different case altogether as he is 8 and far far more sensitive to these things, as he has been through the mill of our divorce from day one poor thing
Anyway in both cases, I do try and keep the grief away from them and for them to have a calm and balanced life when they are with me. It is simply not fair or right to drag them into our differences and I can only hope that they grow up with a healthy respect for relationships and other people.
01 August 2008, 10:19 AM
#422
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I am still fuming with the psycho for yelling abuse about me in front of the kids! I hate the woman for the way she acts and behaves but I would NEVER say anything bad about her in front of the boys! That to me is not fair on them! 
01 August 2008, 10:19 AM
#423
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Swiss,
Time to go to a see a family law expert I feel. This is completely unacceptable and will continute until things come to a serious head where one of you end up in serious trouble.
I don't mean custody or anything like that. You just need to have the basic protected right to pick up your kids and drop them off without having world war three every time it happens.
Iv'e been there to a certain extent. My ex was a complete loon for the first 2 or 3 years of us splitting. Thankfully she did calm down, but I had made contact with a solicitor and had detailed everything to her and was ready to go but she calmed down.
In hindsight, I should have got it all sorted legally from day one, it would have saved me a whole lot of trouble.
Time to go to a see a family law expert I feel. This is completely unacceptable and will continute until things come to a serious head where one of you end up in serious trouble.
I don't mean custody or anything like that. You just need to have the basic protected right to pick up your kids and drop them off without having world war three every time it happens.
Iv'e been there to a certain extent. My ex was a complete loon for the first 2 or 3 years of us splitting. Thankfully she did calm down, but I had made contact with a solicitor and had detailed everything to her and was ready to go but she calmed down.
In hindsight, I should have got it all sorted legally from day one, it would have saved me a whole lot of trouble.
01 August 2008, 10:41 AM
#424
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She's winning though, and yes I do realise this isn't a game.... but
Her aim is to cause you grief, pure and simple... she does this by doing things that will get a rise out of you so that:
a) She feels she's making your life a misery
b) She causes your relationship friction
c) She can slag you off to her friends and worst of all your lads
Everytime you "lose it" she knows she's still getting to you and that a,b & c comes into play and she continues to provoke and stir and be generally a complete biatch
You really need to emotionally disconnect between you and her, now that's not saying that you have any feelings for her (apart from your hands round her throat) but rather whatever she says or does has absolutley NO effect on you..... none, nada, zilch.... only then will she realise that her being a **** is pointless!
If she loses the passports "again" you'll try to get replacements and if you can't you just have to either go somewhere in the UK or stay at home, but either way you must not come across as "bothered".....
She make maximum use of the dent in her car caused by "daddy" ....... I feckin hate her with a passion
DCI
Her aim is to cause you grief, pure and simple... she does this by doing things that will get a rise out of you so that:
a) She feels she's making your life a misery
b) She causes your relationship friction
c) She can slag you off to her friends and worst of all your lads
Everytime you "lose it" she knows she's still getting to you and that a,b & c comes into play and she continues to provoke and stir and be generally a complete biatch
You really need to emotionally disconnect between you and her, now that's not saying that you have any feelings for her (apart from your hands round her throat) but rather whatever she says or does has absolutley NO effect on you..... none, nada, zilch.... only then will she realise that her being a **** is pointless!
If she loses the passports "again"
you'll try to get replacements and if you can't you just have to either go somewhere in the UK or stay at home, but either way you must not come across as "bothered".....She make maximum use of the dent in her car caused by "daddy"
....... I feckin hate her with a passion DCI
01 August 2008, 12:06 PM
#425
As an example, she stood on the doorstop the other day explaining to me in no uncertain terms that my kids dont like coming around to my house or staying with me and they only do it because I have some toys here That kind of crap I can deal with, its when the deeper, more hurtful stuff is slung around that I get mad.
However, my youngest is 5 and whilst he does see stuff, he is not called space cadet boy for fun I only give thanks that he is mostly oblivious to all the styuff that goes on and I explained to him that when grown ups argue in the street and get crazy, then the police will tell us off.
My eldest son is a different case altogether as he is 8 and far far more sensitive to these things, as he has been through the mill of our divorce from day one poor thing Anyway in both cases, I do try and keep the grief away from them and for them to have a calm and balanced life when they are with me. It is simply not fair or right to drag them into our differences and I can only hope that they grow up with a healthy respect for relationships and other people.
That kind of crap I can deal with, its when the deeper, more hurtful stuff is slung around that I get mad.However, my youngest is 5 and whilst he does see stuff, he is not called space cadet boy for fun
I only give thanks that he is mostly oblivious to all the styuff that goes on and I explained to him that when grown ups argue in the street and get crazy, then the police will tell us off. My eldest son is a different case altogether as he is 8 and far far more sensitive to these things, as he has been through the mill of our divorce from day one poor thing
Anyway in both cases, I do try and keep the grief away from them and for them to have a calm and balanced life when they are with me. It is simply not fair or right to drag them into our differences and I can only hope that they grow up with a healthy respect for relationships and other people. I haven't met your ex but I get the impression she is ******* stupid and doesn't have a clue
01 August 2008, 12:15 PM
#426
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I think I'd die shortly after posting it though 
01 August 2008, 12:24 PM
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She's winning though, and yes I do realise this isn't a game.... but
Her aim is to cause you grief, pure and simple... she does this by doing things that will get a rise out of you so that:
a) She feels she's making your life a misery
b) She causes your relationship friction
c) She can slag you off to her friends and worst of all your lads
Everytime you "lose it" she knows she's still getting to you and that a,b & c comes into play and she continues to provoke and stir and be generally a complete biatch
You really need to emotionally disconnect between you and her, now that's not saying that you have any feelings for her (apart from your hands round her throat) but rather whatever she says or does has absolutley NO effect on you..... none, nada, zilch.... only then will she realise that her being a **** is pointless!
If she loses the passports "again" you'll try to get replacements and if you can't you just have to either go somewhere in the UK or stay at home, but either way you must not come across as "bothered".....
She make maximum use of the dent in her car caused by "daddy" ....... I feckin hate her with a passion
DCI
Her aim is to cause you grief, pure and simple... she does this by doing things that will get a rise out of you so that:
a) She feels she's making your life a misery
b) She causes your relationship friction
c) She can slag you off to her friends and worst of all your lads
Everytime you "lose it" she knows she's still getting to you and that a,b & c comes into play and she continues to provoke and stir and be generally a complete biatch
You really need to emotionally disconnect between you and her, now that's not saying that you have any feelings for her (apart from your hands round her throat) but rather whatever she says or does has absolutley NO effect on you..... none, nada, zilch.... only then will she realise that her being a **** is pointless!
If she loses the passports "again"
you'll try to get replacements and if you can't you just have to either go somewhere in the UK or stay at home, but either way you must not come across as "bothered".....She make maximum use of the dent in her car caused by "daddy"
....... I feckin hate her with a passion DCI
You have to simply ignore her. People here that have said they are amazed you have kept your cool aren't reading what I'm reading. You kicked her car in too. I'm sure you regret that though and I'm certainly not having a go at you but from your action she has months of mileage, which is exactly what she wants.
Take everything she throws at you and let it all bounce off. You're the happy one with Madame Jugs, your ex is the miserable, deranged individual that only appears to have one real comfort in life, seeing you lose it.
Take that away from her and she'll soon realise nobody is listening.
P.S I have the T-shirt company.
Good luck, ST and RC.
01 August 2008, 12:31 PM
#432
You have to simply ignore her. People here that have said they are amazed you have kept your cool aren't reading what I'm reading. You kicked her car in too. I'm sure you regret that though and I'm certainly not having a go at you but from your action she has months of mileage, which is exactly what she wants.
. The way I saw it, if she wanted to damage my car and me have to pay for the repair, then why should she get away with it scott free, so hence me booting in her door. Very childish I know and no doubt it was a gut reaction, but still not a good example to set.I can even take the constant beatings around my head from both her and her father, as I have suffered far worse in terms of physical and mental abuse from her over the course of my marriage..that dosent worry me.
My only concern is my ability to avoid any confrontations and the impact on the kids. I hear everything that all you people are saying and I will attempt to keep my cool and distance until this is resolved
01 August 2008, 12:41 PM
#434
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My two cents and I accept that it's none of my business!
The fact that she's tormenting you suggests that she doesn't have much of a life to be getting on with and hasn't properly moved on. The sad thing is that disrupting your life will only exacerbate her dependence on using you and the kids as pawns in a bitter existence, as the more you invest in a behaviour at the expense of living your life for your own enjoyment, the more reluctant you are to let it go. Vicious circle!
Sometimes, when we feel disgruntled by an Ex's behaviour (rightly or wrongly) it is tempting to take revenge, but you have to ask yourself: how are my actions contributing to/enhancing my life! There is nothing to be gained by trying to make someone else's life a misery, or trying to ruin their future relationships. Move on and worry about making yourself happy! The fact that there are kids involved makes her behaviour even more selfish and reprehensible; they didn't ask for this s*it and she should be putting a bit more effort into motherhood and a bit less effort into scheming ways to make your life difficult when all you seem to be doing is attempting to fulfill your role as a good parent.
Don't drag yourself down to her level Swiss. If you have to get the law involved more extensively; it's important that they don't see you both as being equal sinners!
Blimey, I've just made a sensible post!
Ns "FAIL!!!!!" 04
The fact that she's tormenting you suggests that she doesn't have much of a life to be getting on with and hasn't properly moved on. The sad thing is that disrupting your life will only exacerbate her dependence on using you and the kids as pawns in a bitter existence, as the more you invest in a behaviour at the expense of living your life for your own enjoyment, the more reluctant you are to let it go. Vicious circle!
Sometimes, when we feel disgruntled by an Ex's behaviour (rightly or wrongly) it is tempting to take revenge, but you have to ask yourself: how are my actions contributing to/enhancing my life! There is nothing to be gained by trying to make someone else's life a misery, or trying to ruin their future relationships. Move on and worry about making yourself happy! The fact that there are kids involved makes her behaviour even more selfish and reprehensible; they didn't ask for this s*it and she should be putting a bit more effort into motherhood and a bit less effort into scheming ways to make your life difficult when all you seem to be doing is attempting to fulfill your role as a good parent.
Don't drag yourself down to her level Swiss. If you have to get the law involved more extensively; it's important that they don't see you both as being equal sinners!
Blimey, I've just made a sensible post!
Ns "FAIL!!!!!" 04
01 August 2008, 12:42 PM
#435
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I had a legendary temper that is now a legendary controlled temper, more like internal wind that still gets results but from using other methods.
01 August 2008, 02:00 PM
#443
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Christ almighty. What the hell is she on?! You're doing well to keep calm Swiss. I'd have cracked up by now.
DOn't mean to hijack but I'm going through yet another rough patch with my ex. Every so often he gets a stupid idea in his head that we can get back together. I tell him no each and everytime (we have nothing in common now, I don't find him attractive anymore, to put it simply he bores me. Plus I've charged him with assault and will NEVER forgive him for what he has done to me). Now that I've said no I've had abusive text messages telling me I'm a *****, I neglect our son, I introduce him to different guys every week, that I have every tom dick and harry babysitting for me, telling me he knows stuff about me that I don't know he knows, he has started mucking me around by saying he will take J then cancel last minute. Of course none of this is true. He has no idea how hard it is being a full time single parent, he gets out to do all the things he wants to do - I struggle to even get out for a run to try and keep myself fit. And I wish I could get out often enough to meet a different guy every week! But of course this is all my own fault because I left him (for hitting me). I just wish there was something I could say to him to make him f**k off and leave me alone. Any suggestions welcome
DOn't mean to hijack but I'm going through yet another rough patch with my ex. Every so often he gets a stupid idea in his head that we can get back together. I tell him no each and everytime (we have nothing in common now, I don't find him attractive anymore, to put it simply he bores me. Plus I've charged him with assault and will NEVER forgive him for what he has done to me). Now that I've said no I've had abusive text messages telling me I'm a *****, I neglect our son, I introduce him to different guys every week, that I have every tom dick and harry babysitting for me, telling me he knows stuff about me that I don't know he knows, he has started mucking me around by saying he will take J then cancel last minute. Of course none of this is true. He has no idea how hard it is being a full time single parent, he gets out to do all the things he wants to do - I struggle to even get out for a run to try and keep myself fit. And I wish I could get out often enough to meet a different guy every week! But of course this is all my own fault because I left him (for hitting me). I just wish there was something I could say to him to make him f**k off and leave me alone.
Any suggestions welcome
01 August 2008, 02:11 PM
#444
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HTH.
01 August 2008, 02:43 PM
#449
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Swiss
Soak it all up like a sponge.
My ex used to threaten me with s4ite like this - "Dont think your taking Michelle abroad on holiday, shes staying right here with me".
I'd say, "OK, but she would really enjoy it if she could come, do you really want her to miss out". Then i'd just leave her to stew and not mention it again.
Then I'd get the phone call, "I hope your not thinking of going on holiday with that slag and forgetting about your daughter".
"No, its all paid for if she wants to come".
She never tried stunts like that again.
@ rallychic
My new girlfriend suffered years of abuse from my ex too. Just stay as stable for the boys as is possible under the cicumstances. My daughter is 22 now and looks on my girlfriend more as her mum than her real mother.
Soak it all up like a sponge.
My ex used to threaten me with s4ite like this - "Dont think your taking Michelle abroad on holiday, shes staying right here with me".
I'd say, "OK, but she would really enjoy it if she could come, do you really want her to miss out". Then i'd just leave her to stew and not mention it again.
Then I'd get the phone call, "I hope your not thinking of going on holiday with that slag and forgetting about your daughter".
"No, its all paid for if she wants to come".
She never tried stunts like that again.
@ rallychic
My new girlfriend suffered years of abuse from my ex too. Just stay as stable for the boys as is possible under the cicumstances. My daughter is 22 now and looks on my girlfriend more as her mum than her real mother.
01 August 2008, 02:44 PM
#450
Christ almighty. What the hell is she on?! You're doing well to keep calm Swiss. I'd have cracked up by now.
DOn't mean to hijack but I'm going through yet another rough patch with my ex. Every so often he gets a stupid idea in his head that we can get back together. I tell him no each and everytime (we have nothing in common now, I don't find him attractive anymore, to put it simply he bores me. Plus I've charged him with assault and will NEVER forgive him for what he has done to me). Now that I've said no I've had abusive text messages telling me I'm a *****, I neglect our son, I introduce him to different guys every week, that I have every tom dick and harry babysitting for me, telling me he knows stuff about me that I don't know he knows, he has started mucking me around by saying he will take J then cancel last minute. Of course none of this is true. He has no idea how hard it is being a full time single parent, he gets out to do all the things he wants to do - I struggle to even get out for a run to try and keep myself fit. And I wish I could get out often enough to meet a different guy every week! But of course this is all my own fault because I left him (for hitting me). I just wish there was something I could say to him to make him f**k off and leave me alone. Any suggestions welcome
DOn't mean to hijack but I'm going through yet another rough patch with my ex. Every so often he gets a stupid idea in his head that we can get back together. I tell him no each and everytime (we have nothing in common now, I don't find him attractive anymore, to put it simply he bores me. Plus I've charged him with assault and will NEVER forgive him for what he has done to me). Now that I've said no I've had abusive text messages telling me I'm a *****, I neglect our son, I introduce him to different guys every week, that I have every tom dick and harry babysitting for me, telling me he knows stuff about me that I don't know he knows, he has started mucking me around by saying he will take J then cancel last minute. Of course none of this is true. He has no idea how hard it is being a full time single parent, he gets out to do all the things he wants to do - I struggle to even get out for a run to try and keep myself fit. And I wish I could get out often enough to meet a different guy every week! But of course this is all my own fault because I left him (for hitting me). I just wish there was something I could say to him to make him f**k off and leave me alone.
Any suggestions welcome A crap situation not helped by an obviously loopy ex. I suggest you get friendly with some very large well built ex-sas guy and get him to reply to your texts from your ex. That should make him cool off for a while