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suggestions for a spiteful neighbour...

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Old 19 April 2007, 05:18 PM
  #61  
Infractfree
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I could easily fit a 50 Volvo 240 in that space. In my opinion a small outlay will easily be enough to play some fun games with this fool.
Park your banger where you know he will leave less than a car space between him and it. When you notice he's done that just go and reverse your car to within an inch of his bumper.
For extra fun do this with 2 cars.
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Old 19 April 2007, 05:18 PM
  #62  
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt View Post
^^^^ Seriously bothered by this 'parking incident'


street is quite quiet, but as said earlier, my drive backs onto a main road, generally where anyone could come and do dmage. my garden is about 30 metres long, and then i have a 40ft driveway, which isnt lit up well at all at night, so id rather have the car round the front, untill i have a garage
built and alarmed. cctv will do me fine, another reason why i wont park it round the back, its installed near her bedroom window for access to change the angle if needs be.
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Old 19 April 2007, 05:21 PM
  #63  
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now hes parked up and will probably let his car rot for a couple days, i may move mine to let somone esle have his prize spot. when ive gone for a turd and decided what to do with it
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Old 19 April 2007, 05:22 PM
  #64  
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Originally Posted by chocolate_o_brian View Post
dci, yes maybe next time i see him, i should march upto him, face to face, slap my face a few times, and mumble "im just physcing myself up here"
Next time you see him, pretend to be walking along the street in the opposite direction. When you are about a foot away from him shout "RAAARR" as loud as you can. Really put your heart into it. Avoid falling about laughing after you do it. Keep doing it every time he walks up the street. He will be parking several streets away in the other direction in no time.

Everyone else should try this on a total stranger at least once in their lives..... just for the craic
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Old 19 April 2007, 05:22 PM
  #65  
DCI Gene Hunt
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My first house was like that, apart from some old nudger who lived a road away took to always parking outside my end of terrace house, every night I'd get home only to find no feckin spaces.....

He REALLY got on my feckin ****, but I never said anything as it was never my space or place to say where he could or couldn't park.

So I can appreciate how much this annoys you CoB
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Old 19 April 2007, 05:28 PM
  #66  
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LMAO. Cant believe how much this is winding you up.... I hope your neighbour is a SN member and is giggling at this thread
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Old 19 April 2007, 05:32 PM
  #67  
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Originally Posted by davegtt View Post
LMAO. Cant believe how much this is winding you up.... I hope your neighbour is a SN member and is giggling at this thread

no and erm no.

reason it winds me up my dear fellow is the fact hes already "defaced" my car with his lung/nostril intake, and insists on parking like a ****, to the annoyance of others besides me. when i have a garage, alls good, but i dont, so i should be able to expect to park somewhere sensibly near my home.

now stop trolling.
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Old 19 April 2007, 05:36 PM
  #68  
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Were having same problem outsite my house

Prat across the road is a bit of a dodgy car dealer so always has a fleet of cars

even though he has a driveway clearly able to fit 4 cars on he insists on parking them in the street. His fleet can often include vans & trucks.

Neway were going on holiday next week.

One of me dads mates, a farmer who he plays snooker with is dropping a trailer of horse manour off outside our house for a few days. Said he might leave the tractor with it for a few days too.
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Old 19 April 2007, 05:40 PM
  #69  
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Yeah sure get stressed at him (if it was him) spitting on your car and go and sort him out but your obviously getting wound up enough to complain on here about it and take pictures Just giving me a chuckle thats all

p.s. Trolling is the only thing thats got me through today and I'll stop in 4 minutes when I can go home
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Old 19 April 2007, 06:01 PM
  #70  
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Originally Posted by fast bloke View Post
Next time you see him, pretend to be walking along the street in the opposite direction. When you are about a foot away from him shout "RAAARR" as loud as you can. Really put your heart into it. Avoid falling about laughing after you do it. Keep doing it every time he walks up the street. He will be parking several streets away in the other direction in no time.

Everyone else should try this on a total stranger at least once in their lives..... just for the craic

but watch out because one day it will be done to the wrong person
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Old 19 April 2007, 07:18 PM
  #71  
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Originally Posted by Infractfree View Post
I could easily fit a 50 Volvo 240 in that space. In my opinion a small outlay will easily be enough to play some fun games with this fool.
Park your banger where you know he will leave less than a car space between him and it. When you notice he's done that just go and reverse your car to within an inch of his bumper.
For extra fun do this with 2 cars.
I was going suggest a similar idea. How about two 50 bangers, each parked about 1" from his bumpers. Might be a bit annoyed when he has to go to work in the morning.
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Old 19 April 2007, 07:38 PM
  #72  
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You lot are so predictable, death and destruction, revenge and retribution, it isnt going to work unless you are pettier than him.

Put the **** right on the back foot by being nice, people respond much better to positive (however contrived) gestures than negative tit for tat ones, honestly its worth a try, pitch up at his door with a nice bottle of something and some flowers for his missus (get her pecking his head to not be a ****), apologize for the misunderstanding and ask if he could possibly see his way clear to parking as per your requirements, explain the difficulty he is causing you and that you are a nice bloke that doesnt want to continue with the uneccesary friction, lay it on a bit thick.

Hopefully he will feel a right **** and you can claim the moral high ground.

If it doesnt work, then its open season !

Last edited by J4CKO; 19 April 2007 at 07:40 PM.
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Old 19 April 2007, 07:39 PM
  #73  
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Oil on the Windscreen.
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Old 19 April 2007, 11:41 PM
  #74  
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Buy 2 cars off ebay or local scrap yard for cash - can get non runners for a few quid (need to get the towed home though), park them taking up the space outside your house (you can push this onto the drive when you want to leave your car on the road) and park the other outside his house and remove wheels
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Old 20 April 2007, 12:53 AM
  #75  
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Dog poop under his door handles. It will get right under his nails!!
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Old 20 April 2007, 01:19 AM
  #76  
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Does PS Lewis drive a Rover

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Old 20 April 2007, 01:23 AM
  #77  
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The old banana up the exhaust trick
He wont be able to do it back, unless he can find a 4" thick one, suppose he could use a big marrow tho


Seriously, i think you should try what the fella said in post 64
I know it'd work on me
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Old 20 April 2007, 01:27 AM
  #78  
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Next time you are having a few beers, wait till you are bursting for a pee, then go to his door and let loose through his letterbox, he'll then blame the dog and give it a leathering, this is when you call the RSPCA for cruelty to animals, he'll be so ashamed he'll never want to be seen in public again and move to somewhere else...





If he has no dog then the plan is somewhat fooked, but at least you'll sleep better knowing you pissed all over his hall carpet

I'm surprised no one else has came up with this yet
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Old 20 April 2007, 01:28 AM
  #79  
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Winds me right up when people park on the road between our two driveways (just space for one car which is occupied by my brothers car), especially when people cant park properly and overlap the drive.

Lots of fun to be had when someone does park there, then both cars get moved off, and parked OVER the respective driveways, leaving atoms of space between the car front and back.
Normally get a very sheepish and apologetic knock on the door, and they never park there again
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Old 20 April 2007, 03:19 AM
  #80  
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Why not make up a spoof ebay account and sell his car on their
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Old 20 April 2007, 07:30 AM
  #81  
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Originally Posted by Dazza01 View Post
Why not make up a spoof ebay account and sell his car on their

aye, easy enough to find out his landline number too for a contact number. thing is hes selling cars on his back drive, so maybe i should vandalise one of those one night.

idea regards the bangers with no wheels. cant do that as i have to go onto two public roads to get to my drive way, could do another ms paint ,but i havent the energy.
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Old 20 April 2007, 12:14 PM
  #82  
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so many ***** ideas on here, given by people who would never ever do them in "real life"


just clamp it and throw away the key?

it will only cost you about 15 and might make you laugh ?
laughing is good for the stress levels.........................
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Old 20 April 2007, 12:48 PM
  #83  
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Friend of mine did a good one when he fell out with a neighbour. He came home from the pub at 2am, crept over his neighbours fence with a pair of scissors. He went round the garden cutting every one of the guys prised flowers and poked the stalks back in the ground. A day or so later they all keeled over
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Old 20 April 2007, 01:04 PM
  #84  
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Another trick, get all the free stuff from news papers etc sent to his house also the deaf aid ones(just in case he can't hear your exhaust) any little thing you see just have it posted to his door did that once to a mate you should have seen the crap he got.
Cheers
Colin
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Old 20 April 2007, 01:11 PM
  #85  
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Dont resort to criminal damage, then you've lost.
Plus if he knows he getting you wound up he wins, difficult as it may seem why not just ignore the little b&&stard.
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Old 20 April 2007, 01:21 PM
  #86  
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Just punch his fekin face in, that will do it
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Old 20 April 2007, 03:10 PM
  #87  
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When he's out chuck some cress seeds thru his letter box, then spray a fine mist of water thru the letter box, using one of those garden sprayers. He won't notice anything on his return, but he'll be mowing the carpet in a few days.
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Old 20 April 2007, 03:14 PM
  #88  
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Murder him dead*












*or if that's slightly OTT then rape him in the face.
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Old 20 April 2007, 03:23 PM
  #89  
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Originally Posted by what would scooby do View Post
Murder him dead*












*or if that's slightly OTT then rape him in the face.


Anroad a pint of maggots from the local fishing shop is far better than cress as they crawl off and hide until they turn into flies which infest his house for weeks
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Old 20 April 2007, 03:50 PM
  #90  
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Break into his house and unscrew his shower... Put a teabag in the shower head and screw back on.
When he next has a shower the water will be brown which will cause mild suprise and confusion...
That will learn him
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