Let's not hijack this thread but are you really serious about that statement. Believe it or not I'm by no means perfect but other than being told I had a terminal illness that was going to cripple me I have never and would never consider suicide. It's just such an unimaginative way of dealing with your problems if nothing else.

 

there will be no suicide

people who talk the talk, never walk the walk, if there was going to be a good juicy suicide, there would be no post to start with IMO

 

yeah i agree

as for the wife i think she deserves a medal stayin wiv you

 

well he is in the spare room living off handouts.

 

I have to agree here. She doesnt sound very supportive. Does she remember her vows....FOR RICHER OR POORER etc etc.

Suicide is not the answer. Your life insurance will not pay out.

Chin up.

 

 

You need to see a financial advisor, specialist insolvency lawyer or someone else of that calibre.

DO NOT go to any of these debt solution companies because they will only make more money on the back of your debts/misery.

Bankruptcy is not as bad as it sounds but as you have a house with £42,000 of equity in it then unless your wife can afford to buy your £21,000 share then you should avoid it at all costs.

Your wifes attitude is not helping either, she isn't paying half the bills and unless you've spent it entirely on things for yourself then she has had a part in the debt too. Half hers? Sounds like she is already planning the settlement.

And why are you worried about your credit rating anyway? Sounds like the last thing you need is more credit.

You need to pretend that you are bankrupt. Work out your income and expenses and what the surplus is. Then pay the debt off religiously with the excess, because that's what will be forced upon you anyway if you continue.

Also just sell your car and get a cheap one, put the entire proceeds into paying off the debt.

£3000 will get a decent family car and again that's would would happen if you went bankrupt anyway.

 

I am shocked by your wife attitude to be honest. Maybe you should point out to her that if you stopped paying the mortgage as you cant afford it then the house would be repossessed.

You said that she works then she should pay half the bills including mortgage/food shoppping/car hps etc. If she doesnt want to then tell her that you will stop paying for them and have them repossessed.

Stop worrying about your credit rating.

It is so easy to get into debt and you are by far not going to be the last. The best thing is to sort it out now and get strict with your wife.

 

There must be hundreds of thousands of people in this situation. When the debt bubble bursts there will be a recession the like of which has never been seen.

 

Not true. Lots of people have these types of thoughts. Not just debt related either. I myself have had/have thoughts about it, which I'm not going into the reason why on here, but am I selfish for thinking about it? No. Sometimes people just feel it's their only option, or just a way out of a life they don't want/like.

Stilover


PS. I'm not in debt, or at least not in unmanageable debt. Mortgage, and car loan only amount to £549/month.

 

You almost don't need one these days. Visa and Mastercard now have prepaid debit cards that don't require credit checks but can be used exactly like normal cards.

The sub-prime market for loans and mortgages is a booming industry that many mainstream banks are becoming involved in. Worst case is you pay 1-2% higher interest than the normal rates. for a couple of years.

A bad (or non-existent) credit rating is a hassle but it doesn't really you lose out on anything.

 

Easy to say that though isn't when you're a smug home owner. i'm guessing that you didn't buy in the last 5 years and not in the South East where anything decent would mean a minimum of £1000 just on mortgage.

 

Not half.

Bankruptcies are currently rocketing and mortgage possessions.

Get yourself out of the mess and baton down the hatches.

 

To answer a couple of questions raised.

Yes, I had a Scooby until about 4 months ago - it was sold for the right reasons (for £7K) and I bought an old volvo for £3K, with the balance going toward some credit cards.

The mortgage, whilst I pay for it each month, is in joint names, as is the house. I know for a fact she won't (let me) sell it.

My wife does pay £600 a month in nursery/childcare each month and we share the cost of food, so she does contribute. Perhaps not as much as I would like but then again, she does work part time and can't go back to work full time until our son's settled in school in a few years time.

It's clear that I need to seek proper advice and I will be arranging this in the coming days.

Thanks for all the constructive comments so far.

 

People only talk about suicide because they require drawing attention to themselves about how bad they're feeling - it's supposed to be a graphic representation of just how low they really are - that life's not worth it any more !

In reality anyone that talks about it quite rarely ends up doing it - it's those people that don;t talk about it, they are sooo low they end up doing it, hence it's then a massive shock to the people around them because they did'nt know anything about it

 

I'd do something similar.

Lots and lots of people are in your situation. It isn't the end of the world, there are plenty of ways out - legal or not.

 

Flipping heck you are getting robbed mate. My littlun was in FULL TIME nursery care and that was £450 a month. £600 a month part time is a flipping con

 

62k is a big amount of course, but your salary sounds healthy, and your wife's should be included into the Income sum. After you've gone to the CC companies and told them to restructure your debts, what are your main monthly expenditures apart from the repayments? (and can any of the goods bought be sold for reasonable return?)

Food? Shop at Asda rather than M&S.
Alcohol costs a fortune these days, try to live without.
Cigarettes?
Petrol - what chance do you have of changing your commute to a cheaper one, eg public transport or bike?
Holiday - don't do without, but go for a camping holiday in the UK rather than 5 stars in the Carribean

etc etc.

Am sure you can do it, you just need to seriously readjust your expenditures. It's not 62k for a heroin junkie with one GCSE and no job. (...I hope!)

 

to be honest she is not helping you at all. She seems to have forgotten the better or worse part of her vows. Spell it out to her that you risk losing the house full stop (even though you probably dont at this stage). Depending on where you live a £250k house would be a fair size, so if there is only 3 of you then surely moving to a smaller house makes sense, smaller mortgage, cheaper domestic bills etc, earlier chance of repayment leading to a better life later on. House prices are allegedly on the rapid increase again so you may get more than the 250k. New build houses are relatively cheap these days (4 bed detached for about 160k) so go for one of these. There value will increase rapidly as well over the next few years so allowing you if you wanted to go back to what you had.

You could always try a nick leeson

 

It's actually cheaper to go to the Caribbean these days

 

I bought my property 3.5 years ago. A 2 bed Apartment in Darlington. At the time everyone was saying just how expensive it was, but Apartments in this area are now going from anywhere from £185-£277k. Luckily I had quite a bit of cash to put down, thus reducing my mortgage payments. As an example, about 5-6 years ago £180-200k would get you a 5 bed detached executive house in Woodham Village, yet now you need between £185-277k just to get an Apartment 10 miles away.
You are right though, living in the South must be a nightmare with property prices.

Although I must say that people bring this all on themselves. Why people are buying houses now, at such the inflated prices is beyond me. The original poster is point proven. Large mortgage, but also wanting to maintain a certain lifestyle i.e. nice car, holidays etc.
If we do get a recession in the future, lots more people are going to find themselves in the same situation as the original poster. Even if we don't get a recession I bet lots of people are now pretty much living on or beyond there income. A 1% interest rate rise will push so many people into financial disaster.

Hope he gets out of his financial trouble though, as I'd hate to be in that situation myself.

 

Ok,

Speaking as a specialist in insolvency and recovery here's what you need to do.

1) Sit down with your wife and establish whether or not you have her financial and emotional support. If you do, read on. If you don't, consult a divorce lawyer now.

2) Assuming you do, work out what assets you could sell to either reduce the amount of your debt and or monthly outgoings to more manageable levels. No one needs expensive cars/toys. etc. Don't get too hung up on losing money on selling them, you are stuffed if you dont.

3) At the same time, write down your monthly combined income and the total of expenditure items for both of you. Cut out all the ones you don't need and see how much surplus, if any, you have left. Calculate this surplus on the basis that any HP/rented/financed items have been returned, etc, and you have, for example, sold the expensive cars and bought a diesel fiesta for £2,000 that costs nothing to run. Accept the fact that booze, ****, nights out, presents, holidays, etc, are no more, for a while anyway.

4) You will then know what you can, or cannot afford to repay every month.

5) If you have no surplus you are stuffed and bankruptcy is inevitable

6) If you have a surplus, an IVA is a possibility - but speak to a licenced insolvency practitioner and never one of these debt advice lines - even the ones offering IVA's. If you want more info, PM me.

7) Alternatively, consider an informal arrangement with creditors or some form of debt restructuring via your existing bank. You can do it yourself cheaper than any consolidation loan company can.

8) If you have your wife's support, by all means re-mortgage. If you are at 100% and made bankrupt, chances are you will get to keep the house. If, on the other hand there is equity and you are made bankrupt, the house will be sold to realise the equity. a roof over your head, or £20k in your wifes hand. you decide what works best for you.

9) By now you could potentially have realised the value in a few assets, borrowed another 40k and have enough to pay off a fair bit of your total debt, reducung it to more maneagable levels. You can then agree payments over a period of time on an interest frozen basis, with a bit of luck.

One thing is for sure, you will need to make sacrifices. Big ones. Itis entirely your own fault, so will need to accept that to move on.

You can then (hopefully) chalk it down to experience and get on with the rest of your life.

 

Now that's good advice............................

 

 

Not strictly true though, you will have 12 months to find alternative accomodation for the family usually when made bankrupt. After 12 months or even longer they will still sell the home to realise any capital gains. Or you get the option of the wife buying out your share in the house.

 

Shockingly i agree with Pete

One of your statements in your first post said it all, 'The wife wanted to book a holiday but i couldn't afford to pay'.

As some of the above said. Suicide voids all life insurances, so cross that of your list or your pissed off wife will be more pissed when shes got a £60k loan to deal with.

Again you have to be harsh with your cut backs, if anything sit down with a 3rd party and discuss this as if you don't you'll be claiming you need things where someone else will tell you your taking the **** and it's a luxury.

And the missus, yes you should have told her about your debt, it's deception, and she is right saying why should she help, it's of your own doing. Then the flip side of the coin is you seem to pay for everything. Child care!!!! why are you paying £600 when shes part time???, try and see if the parents, if retired, will help with this, share between yours and hers, even make a token payment, it's got to be cheaper, even a couple of days a week would be better then nothing.
Agree with the other statement, if shes not willing to help, then it's over, you've got to make cuts and shes not willing to give a little, If she doesn't want to help then you've got to make cuts, you want to cut the non essentials out of your life style.


And just how is half the capital in the house hers if she only works part-time???

 

It isn't. She's got about 75% in a divorce settlement

 

Bugger- beat me to it

 

Our legal system sucks, fair enough you wouldn't see the child go with out, but why do they always win.....It's not fair <rolls on floor beating fists and feet like child who doesn't get their own way>

 

You could do all the small things too as they make a difference in the long run

cancel sky/cable/magazine/paper subscriptions

make sarnies for lunch

switch to cheap electricity/gas suppliers

ebay loads of your gear that is stashed in the loft/garage

swap cars for a cheap runabout

We just had another mouth to feed and the wife's not working anymore so just doing these things gave us a bit of breathing room.