Just sent it,sara.
My thoughts are with you,your mum and rest of your family.

 

thinking of you.

 

thanks all

sorry about that, it seems that terminal cancer has affected more people than i can ever have imagined. until now it hadnt been in my family and i felt we were the lucky ones, now i feel like i am the unluckiest person in the world

these next few days are going to be a nightmare

 

Lost my dad to it Sara ..... Really feeling for you and your family.
I am praying you have a birthday with your mother xx

 

maybe i am being silly but i didnt want that anniversary to be on my birthday. i hope she goes a long way beyond that date but at the same time i dont want her to suffer longer than she needs to. i want to be selfish but i dont, if you know what i mean. i am not ready to lose her yet and i dont know what will make me feel ready

 

My wife lost her nan on her birthday, her nan was like her mother.
Although its been 10 yrs ..... and on my wifes birthday she says nothing, I can tell that for the first hour of the day its on her mind.......

But saying that sara, my father died 12 yrs ago. and always on birthday and christmas my thoughts are with him (as they are on most days) and i wouldnt have it any other way now.

Thinking of you xx

 

Sara, my Nan had breast cancer... we faced watching her her suffer a long, painful death... fate intervened and she had a heart attack. it was awful at the time, but now when i look back i remember my Nan as she was, and not suffering too much...

 

Hey Sara,
My first time back on SN in AGES..
Sorry to hear things have taken a turn for the worse.

Well I think you are a very brave woman, and you have my deepest sympathies.

Brad.

 

i dont feel very brave right now. every now and then i get a feeling of dread. i am trying to be prepared but as every day dawns it starts all over again.

it helps that i dont just have the family to discuss it with. when the family are together the talk is always the same, but being able to post about our experiences has really helped. you realise you are not alone.

 

Hang in there Sara..

 

Sara.

What with SN being tempremental, I have only just caught up. I'm really upset to hear your latest news.

I cannot imagine how hard it must be at the moment, not knowing what
each day is going to bring. Keep strong, sweetheart, and know when the time does come, she may not be with you in person, but she will always be with you in spirit, and that she is no longer suffering.

My thoughts are with you.
xx

 

There is nothing more to say than the above, I have been reading your thread over the times since you first posted it, and although I never posted on here my thoughts were always with you. Sitting here tonight catching up from the last page it has brought tears to my eyes, I can not imagine what you have been going through or are still going through.

Keep strong Sara, my thoughts are with you all

Tams xx

 

Good advice above Sara, keep strong, you need to so that you can cope with it, we are all supporting you both.

Les

 

Sara, i lost my nan to cancer last year so i could say i know how you feel,but the truth is i dont,this affects us all in different ways so all i can do is sympathise with you. Stay strong for your sake your family and most of all for your mum. godbless.

powerwrx. xx

 

mum is comfortable today. i was going in to visit but my daughter split her head open at 9 am this morning, she fell into the doorway after tripping on the step(not sure who she takes after) she now has had stitches and wont be doing much so she is making me watch her dvd's all day

 

Just had another wee read through the thread to catch up. So sorry about all this. I remember my auntie was on 'the decline'. I had bought her some flowers with my pocket money one friday to go see her that afternoon and was told I wasn't allowed in. She died the following sunday... which was mothers day Thinking back on it I feel gutted for my cousins.

It doesn't matter which day it happens, it will hurt the same as any other day. I don't think you will ever be able to prepare yourself. Keep being strong for her x

 

A work colleague has spent some of this week on the phone to his friend who has just tragically lost his 15 yr old twin daughter in a tragic accident. These sorts of thing always bring home the fragility of life, and loss of one so young, with so much ahead of them

Reading this thread, one positive thought to remember is that you have the time & space to say your goodbyes.

Wishing you all the best.

 

My dad died of colon cancer 2 days before my 19th birthday. I was born on Fathers day and he died on Fathers day. I have to say it was really sad for a few years, but that was in 1986 and now it's nice to remember all the happy stuff and fun we had.

Although it doesn't seem like it possibly can, grief passes - it's part of the healing process - but you will always have your memories.

The most useful thing someone said to me was that whatever emotions you go through over the coming months, they are all perfectly normal. We all have different family relationships so we will all go through a different range of emotions - feel happy, sad, angry, depressed - in fact feel anything except guilty.

And never bottle anything up - let it all out. That's what having friends is all about.

 

Happy Birthday Sara :-)

 

yep, its my birthday

mum is well today and she has a pressie for me at the hospital

 

Happy Birthday Sara,

Not been on here long and I've just sat and read all 15 pages of this...

My heart goes out to you and the others on here in your difficult times.

Luckily I have a happier story.

My mum was diagnosed with cancer back in 1990ish, The doctors attitude was just as bad back then, (They actually told her over the phone... )

One cancelled holiday to america later (was due to go 2 weeks after she was told) and treatment started, She had chemo for quite a while and ended up in hospital during the treatment due to breaking her leg (what is it with mothers & accidents... )

Luckily everything went well for her as it was caught very early and earlier this year she was given the all clear so now doesn't have to go for checkups each year any more.

Hopefully your mum will have many more months of life left in her, she sounds light a fighter.

Adrian.

 

this morning mum is being started on antibiotics again for her chest, i assume this is because she has another infection. if she has i dont think she will recover from it. at the moment she is sleeping all the time she is desperately tired all day. if she has slept for 30 minutes she thinks she has slept for hours. she is muddled about day and night. she has also started wanting things like kentucky fried chicken.........she hates fast food. this is all due to the brain tumours. the staff are hoping that she will just pass away while she is asleep. this could be anytime now or days away. i desperately want to be with her when she goes.

i havnt heard from dynamix....hope your mum is ok

leslie, i hope you are getting by too

 

my mum is okay sara thanks - just looking a bit like shrek at the mo with puffed up face and cheeks... nothing too bad though.

i hate this situation - i am feeling sh1te cos things are ok at the mo and expecting bad news every time the phone rings - god only knows what you are going through.

my thoughts are with you

 

i call my mum shrek as well

i told her i would paint her green and take a pic, now every time she wakes up she asks what colour she is. over the last 10 days mum has lost a lot of the steroid weight. her wrinkles are coming back a bit now. she was solid. you must have the same steroids as us......nasty things.

is your mum at home or in hospital?

i dread the phone ringing, especially in the night. i hope you are doing better than us, fingers crossed for you

 

Happened to me a few years ago when my father died of lung cancer
Its not nice and there isnt any bright side to this you just have to grin and bear it
My only advice is enjoy what time you can with your mum talk about all those things that you wanted to know about her past, there isnt really any holds barred now, ask about what you were like as kids, her most memerable moments etc, its probably the most precious thing you will ever get
The clock is ticking, get working on it and it should take your mind off this for a while atleast

Tony

 

today started off well, i had a call from the hospital telling me that a bed was available for mum in the hospice. when i got there i was told that there was a chance that mum might not make the journey and that she was too ill to be moved. this has broken my heart as it was my mums last wish. she has always said that she didnt want to die in hospital. her room in the hospital has grey walls and the view from her window is a wall of windows from the 7th floor.

mum is sleeping all the time but when she is awake she is fully aware and and can still talk. she says she hears everything going on around her. the staff said that they can care for her where she is and she wont be left in any pain....she is in a lot of pain today and its very upsetting. i have been out to get lots of nice things for her room. i have got lots of butterflies, flowers and bits and pieces that will make the room pretty for her.

 

Big hugs as usual

 

I know it's upsetting for you - but the very best thing for your mum is that she's where people can take the very best care of her. The walls may be grey, but it seems like you've brightened them up plenty - and you're spending lots of time with her which is the main thing.

Many of us have been through exactly what you're going through and, personally speaking, I really wish there was a magic wand to help you deal with it all. But sadly there isn't.

What you do have is lots of friends for you to use and abuse as you go through it.

All my thoughts are with you and your family through all of this.

Take care

 

Sorry to hear about her at the moment and that she can't get into the hospice as she would prefer Sara. Maybe things will change for the better, we can only hope. Plese give her my best wishes.

My Mum is still in the hospital, she had a heart attack apparently and is in a semi coma. We drove up London way to see her and she does not respond very much to anyone. She is a very tough lady even though she is 96 now and my sister and I are hoping she may come round again. I know just how you feel.

Les

 

Big hugs, SS.