I'd give her some face cream that was priceless - or just 'seagull' her.

 

Yeah, I keep being told it's good for the skin....


and sore throats....



and sore bits and pieces....

 

Dr. Po's patent protein dermal aftercare.

With spoffosomes.

 

politics

 

Concentrate

Here comes the science bit

 

Go on....

 

Does it contain Bifidus Digestivum at all?

 

can we act dumb, because we're worth it?

 

Give me five

 

five fig rolls? but I ate them all

 

It contains pH-balanced foofular balm, microblobules and face massaging nano-taddies.

 

I thought it was the parrots.

 

sticky beaks

 

The true way out of the doghouse is to send her into more of a doghouse.

OK, so she calls you a name, you get huffy and walk off and you end up in the doghouse. That's how women work so you have to double bluff.

I find telling her how disappointed you are in her, how you thought she wasn't irrational like all your ex's, how you thought she was better than that and how you were saving that £68 for a trackday and she'll soon be wearing PVC and humming the sorry song on your pink oboe.

 

yes, that would work

 

You don't really have a woman, do you ?

 

 

8 years and counting

Trust me, comparing her to your ex is a guaranteed winner

 

Last time I did that, I ended up in A&E

 

You wish

 

you're a wonderful man

 

I always thought the rubber would perish

 

Don't pretend to understand a woman. You men are more stupid than we think if you do.

 

I'm a leo, I prefer a mirror and a ****

 

After 8 years, I don't need to do it anymore. The first couple of years training is pretty tough, though.

 

I forgot to add, "Who should be castrated"

 

 

So you've been several years without sex now then?

 

He must be about ready to explode

 

I'm allowed sex for reproductive purposes during ovulation and as much **** as I can download during Coronation Street and Eastenders. That' not a bad deal!