Nothing like lying under the car and asking your mate to pour the new oil in when you have forgotten to replace the sump plug.

Les

 

i changed the brake pads on my girlfriends sisters cortina. i got her to back it out of the drive to test, she reversed, put her foot on the brake pedal which went to floor because the vacuum on the brake servo had not come to pressure. and the car rolled in to the road, i laughed and she **** herself!

 

At work we have security poles which sometimes catch the sump on some cars.

I used to have an E30 BMW estate and I put a tiny hold in the sump hitting this pole.

While waiting for a new one from a breakers I had to put a chinese take-away tub underneath the car when I arrived and work and then pour it back in for the drive home.

The replacement sump arrived and in order to get a good view I jacked the front of the car and began removing the bolts. All the bolts were removed but it wouldn't budge.

Still under the car I lent over to a mate and asked him to lend the hammer. As I looked at him the sump dropped off the engine and banged on the floor. I thought the car was falling on me and jumped out from under neath.

Naturally I'm bright red and all freaked and my mate is on the floor holding his sides!!

 

Crewing for Olly on the rally car mentioned earlier. I took the front wheel off to check the brakes in the service area, right at the end of an 8 mile stage. I put the wheel on the floor, then sat on it It happened to be a hot day and I was only wearing shorts, to this day if the weather is cold, you can read the legend 'Compomotive' branded across the backs of my thighs

 

Many many moons ago I had a Yamaha DT50 M De-restricted and was geared to do 65mph flat out it had Boysen racing reeds in my yoof i decided that the restricter plate that allowed the reed to reach the peak angle was bent further back the reed could open more and therefore faster When the reed snapped at approx 70mph and was thrust into the head the piston stopped dead resulting in a total engine seizure,the back wheel locked and had a big get off as i fought to keep it under control

Another was everytime it rained it would die a death as water was getting into the HTLead, So one day as it did this at about 50 mph i reached down to check that it was connected properly to the spark plug about 2000000 volts later i awoke in a ditch at the side of the road

 

Bloody marvellous when these old threads get resurrected

Cheers
Kav

 

Years and years ago I used to build American type Hot Rods. I deceided to install a Hilman Imp steering rack (!) to get the car to corner better ( ).
I spent all weekend making brakets/welding/painting etc and it looked fab.
When I got inside the car I turned the wheel to go left and the wheels turned right....
Fitted a Mini one after that and it was great.

Secret: Measure twice and cut once.

The car:

But here it has Vauxhall Viva HA front independant suspension, that was the next mod.

 

Two separate incidents stick out in my mind, one nearly killing me the other nearly killing the car.

Had an old fiesta in for some rear brake pipes to be changed, both rear wheels off, jacked up on the rear beam axle.
Led underneath I was tugging at the pipe clips when the jack decided to start sliding along the beam axle, I managed to roll out from under the car before it tipped off the jack.

The other was welding up some old chevette or something, again led underneath welding a patch on, stopping occasionally to blow out the flames from the already thick underseal around the area.
Lifted the mask after a short run and noticed the paint pickling much further away from where I was welding, didn't register to start with but then it dawned... pickling paint = flames on the OTHER side of the panel, jumped out from under the car to find flames billowing out of the boot about two feet tall.
Bucket of water was thrown in and the carnage wasn't too bad, except for the now darker shade of paint on the rear wings due to the heat.

Done nothing silly at work yet, apart from dropping an evo transfer box on my arm then hip, then knee and then foot as I tried to slow its decent to the floor from the two poster ramp the car was on at the time. That smarted for a while.


Andy

 

put wd 40 in the exhaust and put my ***** in

 

 

ive done lots of stupid things with cars but this one i will never forget.

i was fitting some rear break shoes on my mates sierra hatch. i striped them down no probs but when putting them back together i needed one of them screw driver things that have a fork in the end so when you put the springs back in you cant slip off them! i didnt have one so i used a normal flat end srewdriver. now these springs are very tight. im pushing and pushing to get one of them located in the hole. next my head is right over the brake drum me pushing as hard as i can with the screwdiver and it slips. the end of the driver hits me on the nose about half an inch from my eye. at hospital they glued the flapy bit of scin back in place. but for days after all i could think about was what if it had bean half an inch the other way!

 

No surprise there then

Chip

 

I couldnt help it. It was a UrQuattro

 

This is one of the funniest threads ive ever read

 

Daftest thing I can remember now was when I had done some work in the car which was a driver's seat out job. For some reason the ratchet mechanism on the seat got jammed when I put it back in and when I accelerated away the seat shot back and I couldn't reach the brake pedal. I was squirming madly to try and reach the pedal before having a 1st gear accident with a parked car when I remembered the handbrake. What a fool

 

I was changing the plugs on a old Ford Escort (my first car) and I knocked a nut (**** knows where it came from) into the cyclinder.

Off comes the head. Then spent hours getting the gasket off because the previous owner had used tonnes of gasket glue. ******.

Put new gasket on, liberally applied gasket glue myself (just in case the previous lot was covering up a slightly warped head or summink). Head back on. A job well done methinks.

Turn on engine, immediately water starts p1ssing all over the place. Investigation revealed I had put the gasket on the wrong way round. ****, **** and thrice ****.

A 15 minute job ends up taking most of the weekend.

 

Collected a scrapper with a mate to banger race - Mk 3 escort. It was already partially stripped, i.e. no lights, bumpers, SEATS etc. Mate was sat on a milk crate with me towing him. We came to a T junction where we needed to turn right across the steady flow of busy traffic. No problem, I boot it and turn right, closely followed by escort............................................ ................................................ ................with my mate on his back having fallen off the milk crate, not being ready for my mad dash across the road. All i could see in my rear view mirror was two feet sticking up above the steering wheel! Somehow we didn't hit anything and managed to make it home safely - the car lasted one race before bieng total'd!

 

psssst Edd - post #24...