Similar experience to ming,

Rebuilt my old mini engine with cooper heads and new camhaft etc.

Just started it as described by the cam instructions, ticking over a couple of K, only to notice the nice new exhaust manifold start glowing red hot. Seconds later the oil pipe going to the gauge decides to let go and puts oil everywhere instantly starting a large under bonnet fire

One burnt blanket later and the car was saved

The other time my dad managed to burn to bits the cardboard heating pipes in my VW beetle while welding the sills. Oh what a fun winter it was regularly scraping a small peep-hole in the ice on the inside of the windscreen.


[Edited by Richard Curtis - 1/12/2004 1:37:30 AM]

 

Yoza Saw the same thing happen at the barriers @ Mersey tunnel - was a guy towing a caravan which way exceeded the height restriction, he managed to to almost scalp the roof of his caravan...... doh

 

Bought an old Mini Clubman of my sister. It was only running on 3 cylinders and I diagnosed a burnt valve, so off came the head. This was the first time I'd attempted such a big job so I followed the Haynes manual very closely.

Off came the rocker cover, followed by the rocker shaft and the pushrods and then the head retaining bolts, hoses and exhaust manifold. Woohoo, it was off and I'd had no problems.

I'd specially bought a valve spring compressor, a full set of valves and some grinding paste and a grinding stick.

With some trepidation I set about removing the valves, cringing each time I had the spring under compression but eventually the head was stripped.

Several hours later, I was happy that the valve seats and valves were comfortably ground in I refitted everything.

At this stage, everything having gone perfectly to plan despite me being a bit of a monkey when it comes to the oily bits, I figured getting the head back on (complete with new gaskets) would be a doddle. It almost was.

Everything was back together, I just had to pop the pushrods back in, put the rocker shaft back on and set the clearances. The exhaust valve on number 3 was the one that was burnt, so imagine my suprise when I discovered that now the rocker arm for this valve didn't come anywhere near it, never mind open it.

A quick flick through the Haynes bible, a bit of head scratching and a new diagnosis. The cam follower must be knackered. So I ordered a new set and figured (youthful twisted logic here) that I might as well throw in a sports cam while I'm at it.

So the new cam arrives, complete with new tappets and uprated valve springs.

A day later, lots of swearing and skinned knuckles being a prominent feature of the work, I realised that changing the cam (practically an engine out job on a Mini) was way beyond my meagre talents so I focused on the tappets.

I suddenly spied a small paragraph in the Haynes manual. Apparently, the Clubman 1098cc engine (and the 1275) share an interesting feature. They have an inspection plate on the back of the block to allow you access to the tappets. 2 bolts later and there were 8 little holes with 7 tappets lying in them, and the 8th sat loose by itself, but in perfect condition. Remember folks, always give your pushrods a shake before taking them out as the tappets stick to the end of them

The car had been off the road a month waiting for the cam kit, I'd spent £200 on parts, another £200 on renting an engine crane, axle stands and a jack. At this point despair set in and I scrapped it and bought my mates Mini Sprite which came with all the parts to make a 1430cc engine...

 

Similar to POC,

Was pushing the car back into the garage using one hand on the windscreen and one had on the wheel, wrapped my hand nice and tight round a spoke and pushed, two fingers stopped the full weight of the car on the calipers, I thought I'd cut them off and the pain was so bad I couldn't even swear, theres still a dent in one of the fingers. Only had the damn car two days....

 

When doing my apprenticeship as Mechanic.

Sticking my finger through hole in an alloy wheel to check brake pads. I had just taken it out for a test drive and the discs were very hot.

Etching the windows on a new car with the wrong reg number. (DOH)

Fitting speakers to a new car in the boot and drilling through the bodywork. Not realising and screwing a self taper through into the quarter panel. I only noticed when I got out the boot.

Climbing up a ramp to pump brakes for mechanic. Climb down and leave door open on car. He finishes job, lowers ramp and crushes his very expensive Snap-on toolbox with the door.

No wonder I left and went into IT.

 

Most stupid thing was not wearing safety glasses when i striped a driveshaft/CV joint assembly. The end of the circlip pliers broke and the circlip sprung off and straight into my eye, covered in greese. I crapped myself because it stung like hell and i couldnt see. I sliced the top surface of my eyeball, which took about 3 weeks to heal properly. I was very lucky as no long term damage was done.

A very valuable lesson learned, protect your eyes!

Too many cuts and bruises from other things but that one sticks out as the most stupid/lucky.

 

OK, here's one.....

A friend of mine (no, really) heard that a pair of ladies tights would make a suitable emergency replacement for a fanbelt. So he tried this in anger on his Alfasud the night before he went off on a driving holiday. Worked OK initially then he revved the bollocks off it. The tights started to melt, slipped off the pulley and into the cambelt which dislodged itself. Net result was cancelled holiday due to knackered car and expensive rebuild on a dead boxer engine.

Marvellous.

 

Bit off title but a mate used to run a car spares shop and sold a bloke a new head gasket.

Guy folds it in half and puts it in his bag.

My mate never said a word.

 

YTS started at our garage told him to top up oil on car he put about an inch too much in. Said to him the only way to get the level down would be to keep put the dip stick in and wipe it. He was at it for 2 hour before i relized i had left him douing it pmsl he did to eventuly <CHRIS>

 

Car salesman spining wheel around with his finger in the wheel while car was on ramp. Finger hit brake caliper by by end of finger now that must have hurt is what i said ! lol

 

had amate who worked for an automotive electrical company refurbishing alternators etc...

one day he complained of a pain in his cheek, after using aan abrasive wheel (wire brush type) shortly after a huge boil erupted on his face... so my brave mate went to pick it and the pain nearly caused him to faint.... when the puss had subsided, there was a wire bristle sticking out of the centre..........

he got it out.... and left the job shortly after.....


mart

 

was working under my old volvo 360 doing a gearbox oil change,

car only on the jack,!!!! gave a good tug on the spanner, and the car rolled forward,,, off the jack and just gave me a nip on the chest!!!!!

i went and bought axle stands shortly after,,,, and finished the job!!

tragically my best mate who ironically by trade was a mechanic..

was crushed to death when a transit van he was working on slipped

off a jack


mart

 

my mate told me a classic. he and someone else were jacking the car up to do something the other person said i will do it and started to lift the car next thing the jack has gone through the foot well cause he didnt use the jacking point, then he has the nerve to ask my mate do you want me to jack your car up.

ive done one thing over filled the engine by about 3 litres cause i had a major oil problem, lets just say i struggled about 2 miles before i called the aa to take me to a subaru garage, doh

 

My first car was a VW Beetle. Had it for a few years and after a while the one of the front wheel bearings started making a horrible grating noise. As I had just started my mechanical training I thought ah ha this is a job I can tackle on my own. Bought a new bearing, borrowed some pullers and an hour later job done. After fitting the bearing and the wheel I noticed there was still a wee bit play in the wheel so I gave the bearing an extra bit wallop and off I drove into the sunset. I had not made it 5 miles down the road when my beloved VW Beetle suddenly became a “Three Wheeler”. I just sat there with the car nose buried into the ground as my front offside wheel hub and brake assembly bounced off down the road. Too tight a bearing = one snapped stub axle. Moral of the story is get someone who knows what their doing to fix your car. I managed another cracker with this car but that is another story must get back to work.

Shaun

 

just came across this in my favorites, cool thread

Just re-read it and currently PMSL

 

LOL. I creased myself at this the first AND second time round

 

Let's resurrect this one, too many good stories here to let it just sit in the old threads.

I confess to doing the old roof mounted bikes through a height restriction thing... Tried to get into a Multi-Storey in Dumfries, and ripped the bikes off teh roof, bending one of the roof rack cross bars in the process.

Then I had to tell the row of cars waiting behind me they would be there a while, whilst I gatherd up the debris and reversed out again...

Then I had to find Halfords to get enough bits to repair it.

The worst of it was, it had pissed rain all week, and that was the first occasion the bikes had been down off the roof all holiday.

 

My one and only major accident was changing the engine mounts on my Toyota Crown, Engine is the same as that in the olde Supra, we hadnt checked the axle stands which where holding the engine properly and after i'd taken the gearbox mount out the engine moved sideways and trapped my wrist in between the bulkhead and the engine. Hurt like hell, luckily one of my mates was helping me and managed to get a jack under the engine to lift it up.

Broke my wrist, luckily it was my left, not right wrist (i'm right handed) but un luckily we had to go back and I had to finish the job one handed. Was pretty funny though trying to fix the car while high on pain killers!

Next time i'll chek the axle stands and perhaps stick a few extra underneath for good measure, either that or let someone else do it!

 

Working on his car after work, he worked at a bodyshop. He was doing some welding to the floorpan on his dads Cortina (showing my age. It was a mint Mk3 2000GXL from memory, one of those one owner cars that his dad was never going to sell more likely to be burried in it

Wel, he had it jacked and on stands as the lift bay had a car allready on it. He can hear some kids shouting down the road and carries on welding, the shouts get louder and more frantic and he stops what he is doing to see what all the fuss is and to tell them to shut the f**k up.

He pulls himself out of the car to be met with billowing black smoke from the Cortina, he had forgotten to pull the carpets out. He had removed the seat and other bits but completely forgotten about the carpets.

Fire brigade attended and it took him years to live it down. Every time he went to weld another car they used to stand a huge extinguisher or two next to him 'just incase' and they even got him a firemans helmet.

The car was a gonna and he had a lot of explaining

 

Was once trying to "re-fashion" a lump of metal by bashing it with a hammer. Unfortunately the lump of metal wasn't secured and one of my hammer blows glanced the lump of metal.

The lump of metal shot into my left bollock at about 90 mph - The pain was so intense I very nearly puked

I realised what Vices were for after this .

 

Worst thing I've done while working on a car is:-

When changing a clutch for a friend on a nice summers day I disconnected the battery and left the bonnet up. I get under the car and start disconnecting things and undoing bolts and generaly being the helpful person I am. Anywhoo, after a while I have everything I need removed and decide that a nice cup of tea is in order. So I leave the car on the ramps, bonnet in the air and pop in to brew said cuppa. As is the case in such things the kettle boils and I pour hot water into my cup as I start thinking " bloody hell this kettle smells like it's burning." I have a quick sniff and decide the kettle is fine. But the burning smell is getting worse and I know my wife isn't cooking bcause I'm in the kitchen. The smell seems to be getting stronger as I get nearer to the door, so I follow my nose. In fact I follow my nose back outside where it points me towards a bloody great bonfire outside my house. "Who the f*** has done that?" I think just as my mouth screams "Oh my f****** God the car."
Flames... oh such beautiful flames were pouring out of the open windows of the car metal was making strange noises and a small Elf was inside my head trying to beat its way out with a large hammer.

Eventually the fire brigade left me alone with a large pool of water surrounding a rather ugly little island of charred metal,glass and no longer very comfortable interior parts.

Have I mentioned it was a nice summers day? .....I have? Oh, did I also mention that the sun was very much a part of that day and that with the bonnet of the car being in the up position right in the suns path that said bonnet was utilising it's shiney paint in a very clever manner. It directed the suns rays at a perfect angle and while I was busy making tea it was gradualy heating the interior to such a degree that flames were the only possible outcome. Well not the ONLY outcome, I still had to figure out how to return the car without him noticing that things may not have turned out as he had hoped.

I won't go into detail regarding that part as I can't figure out any way of writing his reaction down without competely ruining the beauty of the English language. Just be happy with the knowledge that he did cry and it did cost me a lot of money but we remained friends although he never seems to need anything doing to his cars anymore.

 

Changing the front pads on my scoob. Changed them, then went for a drive to check everything was ok.

It was untill I got to the roundabout at the bottom of my road and hit the brakes, or lack of them and found myself reaching for the handbrake.


Yup, I'd forgotten to pump the pedal so the pads were biting again, hadn't I

 

Well, when I was a young lad,
and had just bought a D reg ford escort, 1st car and all that etc.
I decided to do a full service myself, including the spark plugs.
Yep, no idea what I was doing and took all the plugs out at once, leaving ht leads in no particular order.
After my realisation of my error and many hours to figure out what went where,I put the new plugs in and tightened em in good and proper.
Snap went the ratchet, leaving the corner of my hand/wrist embedded into the rad.
I knew it was a serious(ish) injury as the blood was pumping out and a very deep colour.
4 stiches in casualty later I realised I`d better find out how to do it next time.
Funny how you seem to know how to be a mechanic at 17 isnt it?

 

Using a drill with wire brush attachment to polish some parts (footpegs or similar probably) from a Kawaasaki KR1-S that I was rebuilding.
As I wanted to rotate the part frequently to move the polisher around it I held the part between my legs with the drill locked in the 'on' position.
I was wearing jogging trousers to do said job : baggy joggers snagged in the wire brush and the drill proceeded to climb up the leg of my trousers coming to a halt, jammed with material rather close to my b4lls having holed the trousers and scraped my upper thigh.

Rebuilding the top end of my MKII RS2000 engine years ago with a new high lift cam.
Did the whole job rather well I thought having borrowed a valve spring compressor and I then put the engine back together.
Head back on the block but it didn't want to turn over very easily : my mechanic mate offered to have a look : turned out I'd installed some of the valve spring collets the wrong way up. Mate was surpsisd that I hadn't bent the camshaft or valves !

About 18 years old, Yamaha RS100 motorbike.
Bought with K & N filter and I took the carbs apart to check that the previous owner had installed bigger jets to deal with the increased airflow.
Re-installed carb but, as I found out later, the slides can be installed ever so slightly incorrectly such that the carb top will screw on but the slides aren't dropped in properly. Result is that the bike is reluctant to start (as the throttle is then being held 'open')
So I take it out into the street to try to bump start it : unfortunately it catches with me holding the throttle wide open and proceeds to drag me along the street for a yard or 2 : scraped arms ouch !

 

not car related as they are far to complex for me to consider working on.

Watched my mate trying to undo a rather tight nut on a v band clamp in the tornado ecs system. It was in rather an awkward place so he could only push on the ratchet handle with his thumb. Seconds later he starts screaming blue murder and removes his hand from the aircraft, some how he had managed to push so hard he dislocated his thumb.

Or one my all time favourites. On walking into one of the HAS's to see the canopy of the jet nearly fully down and a pair of legs visible on top of the steps. The lecky had managed to open the canopy not checked the accumulator pressure and started working lying over the cockpit sill. As there wasn't enough accumulator pressure to hold the canopy up, it slowly and quietly closed, till it pinned the lad half in and half out of the cockpit with no way of pumping it up and getting himself out. Apparently he had been there 20 mins before i had turned up.

 

I am in the habit of jumping out of the scooby when it is in my garage and leaving her both out of gear and handbrake off. i recently had a new exhaust fitted and put the car onto the ramps leaving her in neutral and handbrake off. I realiesed the error of my ways when the car started to roll backward as the ramp was lowered. Fortunately myself and the mechanic managed to stop her before the end of the ramp.

Had cause to travel to Romania years ago with a band I played in, there were lots of vehicles in a vehicle convoy including some hired vehicles. A hired transit van carrying stage parts overheated, our guitarist was quick on the job and reported water leaking from near the water pump - he topped off the cooling system with water - Ballygowan sparkling water about 4 litres of it!!!! It wasn't many miles before things went bang.... We packed the staging into another van and made a phone call to the hire company to come and recover their stricken vehicle about 60 miles beyond the Austrian / Hungarian border!!! Oh how we laughed until they tried to sue us!!!

TT

 

stupidest thing I ever did was put the footpegs of the zx6r in the dishwasher and forget to lift them out before the wife came home. Most painful thing was a cylinder gasket replacement on a mini. Step 1 - take the bonnet off to avoid 'mini scar' on the middle of forehead. Step 2.... Step 46 - no problem - head gasket on a mini should take no more than 12 minutes for the experienced mini owner. Step 47 - remember that my brother in law has borrowed my proper torque wrench, so borrow one from guy down the street. Strangely torque wrench has only got 6" handle. Set torque settings appropriately and start tightening the head bolts in appropriate sequence. Can't get wrench to do the clicky thing when the pressure is becoming approrpiate - increase pressure on wrench, keep increasing pressure, bit more, bit more, bit more - realise that the torque bit of the torque wrench is fuked at the same time as head bolt decides that it can't take any more and snaps in the middle. Punch windscreen so hard that it breaks and I break two fingers

 

 

Many years ago after working on the head of my Triump Herald I got it all finished, coolant in ready to go, last job was fit the distributor cap and then away. Only to find that the inside spring clip for the cap had fallen across the face of the block and I had bolted the head on top of it,,,,,,

 

Now that's a wounder!