Whats the stupidest thing you have ever done while working on a car?
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From: Stockport to Devon
A mate cut the roof off his mk11 escort to make a cabriolet for the summer, he wound his windows up and they fell out.
I dropped a ratchet and it got stuck between the starter motor live terminal and the radiator. The battery was connected and I watched the ratchet start to glow before the wiring loom set on fire.
Now I just book it into the dealers.
I dropped a ratchet and it got stuck between the starter motor live terminal and the radiator. The battery was connected and I watched the ratchet start to glow before the wiring loom set on fire.
Now I just book it into the dealers.
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From: The biosphere
lol! My Dad did something similar tightening up a battery terminal with a spanner. The spanner touched the other terminal and tack welded itself on, resulting in a red hot spanner, a knackered battery and a Dad hopping around blowing his hand! 
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From: behind twin turbos
This is really embarassing ... I was installing a head unit on a real hot day, I'd started losing my patience with wiring a couple of hours prior. I connected up the head unit and something went pop, head unit wouldn't power up anymore. I lost my temper and threw it down the end of the garden since it was obviously blown, destroying it and the Gus Gus CD inside which felt pretty good - until I realised it was a fuse in the car that blew and the head unit was in fact fine 
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So many I can't think of them....
One of the first jobs I did alone was replacing a fan belt. After a good hour wresting to no avail with the belt and the pulley from the water pump that I'd decided to remove...
, my dad told me how fanbelts are tensioned. What a great idea!
I've spent 3hrs levering and hammering and generally swearing like 4uckety to remove an anti-rollbar from a wishbone, to finally read the "note: antirollbar to wishbone nut must be loosed whilst weight of vehicle is on wheels. aha.
Squirted brake fluid in my eye.
Removed a wheel bearing from a hub with a hammer - forgot that I had to press the new one in...... so used the hammer instead. Bang. Lots of ***** all over the place. Back to the shop....
One of the first jobs I did alone was replacing a fan belt. After a good hour wresting to no avail with the belt and the pulley from the water pump that I'd decided to remove...
, my dad told me how fanbelts are tensioned. What a great idea! I've spent 3hrs levering and hammering and generally swearing like 4uckety to remove an anti-rollbar from a wishbone, to finally read the "note: antirollbar to wishbone nut must be loosed whilst weight of vehicle is on wheels. aha.
Squirted brake fluid in my eye.
Removed a wheel bearing from a hub with a hammer - forgot that I had to press the new one in...... so used the hammer instead. Bang. Lots of ***** all over the place. Back to the shop....
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From: Home mostly
Tying and securing a wiring loom nice and tight to a Sierra steering column under the dash and not thinking the whole column turns when you turn the wheel (my golf doesn't do that ) outcome,a nicely burnt loom after a short drive down the road.
And sticking my finger down a gearbox/flywheel timing hole on my golf while it was running
and it bloody hurt!!
[Edited by planky - 1/9/2004 8:01:57 PM]
) outcome,a nicely burnt loom after a short drive down the road.And sticking my finger down a gearbox/flywheel timing hole on my golf while it was running
and it bloody hurt!![Edited by planky - 1/9/2004 8:01:57 PM]
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From: The poliotical wing of Chip Sengravy.
Pest Control.
I once tried to take a wasp out with a lighter, and a can of WD40, the offending insect was hovering around the bottom right hand corner of the windscreen.
I took aim, flicked the lighter and launched an in-car flamethrower at it, unfortunateley the bulk of the flames shot down the air vent.....singed it's wings off though, so a partial success...
...cue instant smoke billowing out of the dashboard as the soundproofing of my Triumph Acclaim catches fire, to make matters worse I was parked on a petrol station forecourt. ( I had only nipped out for some **** so luckily I was parked away from the pumps.
Panic set in and I realised the potential severity of the situation..... Legs it out of the car in search of fire extinguishers, I left the car filling up with smoke...
I ran straight past the fire extinguishers ( I still to the day do not know why ), and bought 2 pints of milk from the fridge - remember when then came in soft plastic bottles with foil caps?
Ran back to the car and emptied the contents of both milk bottles into the dashboard, I punched holes in the foil caps to squirt it in through the vents that were smoking. I then drove out of the petrol sation and parked around the corner.
Had a ***, and then drove home with my ticker going at 200BPM.
The smell in the car the next day was unbeleivable, burnt sour milk and molten plastic - I had a part time job delivering pizzas at night in the car, so that sort of took the shine off my part time job.
Still the best car I ever owned though
I once tried to take a wasp out with a lighter, and a can of WD40, the offending insect was hovering around the bottom right hand corner of the windscreen.
I took aim, flicked the lighter and launched an in-car flamethrower at it, unfortunateley the bulk of the flames shot down the air vent.....singed it's wings off though, so a partial success...
...cue instant smoke billowing out of the dashboard as the soundproofing of my Triumph Acclaim catches fire, to make matters worse I was parked on a petrol station forecourt. ( I had only nipped out for some **** so luckily I was parked away from the pumps.
Panic set in and I realised the potential severity of the situation..... Legs it out of the car in search of fire extinguishers, I left the car filling up with smoke...
I ran straight past the fire extinguishers ( I still to the day do not know why ), and bought 2 pints of milk from the fridge - remember when then came in soft plastic bottles with foil caps?
Ran back to the car and emptied the contents of both milk bottles into the dashboard, I punched holes in the foil caps to squirt it in through the vents that were smoking. I then drove out of the petrol sation and parked around the corner.
Had a ***, and then drove home with my ticker going at 200BPM.
The smell in the car the next day was unbeleivable, burnt sour milk and molten plastic - I had a part time job delivering pizzas at night in the car, so that sort of took the shine off my part time job.
Still the best car I ever owned though
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From: Sunny Derbyshire
A friend of mine used to be a mechanic and once drove a customers car into the workshops to work on it when crunch he forgot that he couldn't drive the customers car a Reliant Robin over the inspection pit. .Like i said he used to be a mechanic
.Like i said he used to be a mechanic
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Stupidest thing i`ve done was last Sunday, I only went and snapped 2 spark plugs in the head of my misses Fiesta.
I nearly PMSL NOT
Went to my local scrapyard to source a replacement head which set me back best part of £100 I then broke a stem while trying to change the seals.
My brake pads on my Focus went yesterday on the way to work so turned back home to get them sorted and it turns out that the disks also needed replacing no disks in stock and would be in aroound midday so that was a day of work with no pay and a cost of £130 to get them done. I didn`t fancy lying on the floor in the torrensial rain we had yesterday.
Took the old head with the plugs stuck in to an engineers workshop to see if they would have a look at, they hammerd, heated and hacksawed and eventually got them out for a round figure of £40 no reciept so no guarantee the new plugs will be ok. I`m going to put the head back on tomorrow so just hoping everything goes ok.
I nearly PMSL NOT
Went to my local scrapyard to source a replacement head which set me back best part of £100 I then broke a stem while trying to change the seals.
My brake pads on my Focus went yesterday on the way to work so turned back home to get them sorted and it turns out that the disks also needed replacing no disks in stock and would be in aroound midday so that was a day of work with no pay and a cost of £130 to get them done. I didn`t fancy lying on the floor in the torrensial rain we had yesterday.
Took the old head with the plugs stuck in to an engineers workshop to see if they would have a look at, they hammerd, heated and hacksawed and eventually got them out for a round figure of £40 no reciept so no guarantee the new plugs will be ok. I`m going to put the head back on tomorrow so just hoping everything goes ok.
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whilst helping a friend to remove a gearbox from a rover sd1 i was underneath removing the bolts when the g/box dropped i quickly turned my head to avoid getting whacked ......
forgot the car has two u shaped cross members running the length of the car crunch one bent nose!!!!
and the bloody g.box didnt move!!!!!
another at work,,, we had an mirror assy that had jammed,, tried to move it with the sharp tap method.... larger tap method
bloody good whack on the bench method......
invoked the basics of physics for every action there an equal reaction..... apparantly the pop my thumb made as it came out of its socket was quite spectacular!!!!!
i remember it touching my wrist .... they feeling rather light headed..... spent the rest of the day in casualty....
mart
forgot the car has two u shaped cross members running the length of the car crunch one bent nose!!!!
and the bloody g.box didnt move!!!!!
another at work,,, we had an mirror assy that had jammed,, tried to move it with the sharp tap method.... larger tap method
bloody good whack on the bench method......
invoked the basics of physics for every action there an equal reaction..... apparantly the pop my thumb made as it came out of its socket was quite spectacular!!!!!
i remember it touching my wrist .... they feeling rather light headed..... spent the rest of the day in casualty....
mart
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Done the oil thing: 4 litres of Mobil 1 down the driveway with the sump plug lying on the wing gutter.
One night, when I had the rally car, I decided to take the car down the lanes complete with lamp pod fitted to check the lights. So I carefully screwed the pod to the bonnet, connected the block connector, and forgot to snap the bonnet pins. With no safety catch, the bonnet ended up wrapped around the windscreen within 500 yards. Fortunately £600 worth of lamp pod survived.
Once changed the pads in my 2.8 Capri in preperation for a thrash down to Luton to see a mate at uni. Silly me forgot to tighten the caliper bolts on one side, one of which pinged out at around 110mph just before we had to brake at the M6/M1 merge. The top bolt had gone, causing the caliper to gouge a groove into the alloy when I braked. So we put the (loose) bottom bolt in the top, dogged it tight with the wheelbrace, and carried on, albeit at a slower pace (around 100mph). For your information, my mate's VW Beetle seatbelt mounting bolt made a perfect replacement.
One night, when I had the rally car, I decided to take the car down the lanes complete with lamp pod fitted to check the lights. So I carefully screwed the pod to the bonnet, connected the block connector, and forgot to snap the bonnet pins. With no safety catch, the bonnet ended up wrapped around the windscreen within 500 yards. Fortunately £600 worth of lamp pod survived.
Once changed the pads in my 2.8 Capri in preperation for a thrash down to Luton to see a mate at uni. Silly me forgot to tighten the caliper bolts on one side, one of which pinged out at around 110mph just before we had to brake at the M6/M1 merge. The top bolt had gone, causing the caliper to gouge a groove into the alloy when I braked. So we put the (loose) bottom bolt in the top, dogged it tight with the wheelbrace, and carried on, albeit at a slower pace (around 100mph). For your information, my mate's VW Beetle seatbelt mounting bolt made a perfect replacement.
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Just thought of another one, again, not me, but a mate 
My mate Andy has a Lancia Integrale, complete with standard reliability/parts quality package. The ball race at the top of the O/S front strut has collapsed, and needs to be replaced. I arrive at his house at the point he is sitting on the lawn, strut assemby betwen his legs, undoing the big nut on top of the strut (the one that keeps the spring in!). I pipe up with "don't you need some spring compress...." at the point the last turn of the nut comes off. Strut top/bearing assembly is launched into outer space, narrowly missing my mate's face. Very shortly afterwards, we realise that what has gone up is very liklely to come back down again, and leg it into the garage, waiting for the inevitable crash as it lands on one of our cars. Silence prevails After much searching we give up looking for the bearing. Who knows where it came down. Some months later, his mum smacks into the conifer tree in their drive, and what should appear, but a very rusty Lancia Strut-top bearing .
My mate Andy has a Lancia Integrale, complete with standard reliability/parts quality package
. The ball race at the top of the O/S front strut has collapsed, and needs to be replaced. I arrive at his house at the point he is sitting on the lawn, strut assemby betwen his legs, undoing the big nut on top of the strut (the one that keeps the spring in!). I pipe up with "don't you need some spring compress...." at the point the last turn of the nut comes off. Strut top/bearing assembly is launched into outer space, narrowly missing my mate's face. Very shortly afterwards, we realise that what has gone up is very liklely to come back down again, and leg it into the garage, waiting for the inevitable crash as it lands on one of our cars. Silence prevails After much searching we give up looking for the bearing. Who knows where it came down. Some months later, his mum smacks into the conifer tree in their drive, and what should appear, but a very rusty Lancia Strut-top bearing .
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From: Zed Ess Won Hay Tee
didnt tighten the wheel bolts up and one came off @ 70mph on a dual carrigeway !
*clunk*
wheel over takes me
"wtf was that, ha ha ha sumbodys wheels came off!"
*relisation*
"holy ****en ****"
*clunk*
wheel over takes me
"wtf was that, ha ha ha sumbodys wheels came off!"
*relisation*
"holy ****en ****"
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From: Cardiff. Wales
Sat at traffic lights on my 550 suzuki wondering why my foot was getting hot. Looked down to see hot oil coming out of the engine after Id just finished working on it.
Never used Kellogs corn flake boxes as gaskets again after that.
Chip.
Never used Kellogs corn flake boxes as gaskets again after that.
Chip.
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A mate of mine, who was not the sharpest knife in the draw, managed to get a job at the Ferrari dealership due to his dad being the service director.
A Daytona was up on the ramp with the engine running. Somehow from underneath he managed to get it into gear. It lept off the ramp and nose dived onto the workshop floor. He thought it was hilarious but the owner thought otherwise.
As it was the third time he had written off a Ferrari his dad decided he was too much of a liability and put him on petrol pump duty only.
A Daytona was up on the ramp with the engine running. Somehow from underneath he managed to get it into gear. It lept off the ramp and nose dived onto the workshop floor. He thought it was hilarious but the owner thought otherwise.
As it was the third time he had written off a Ferrari his dad decided he was too much of a liability and put him on petrol pump duty only.
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OK time to admit to some of my own.
Rebuilt a turbo charged 1220cc drag bike engine. Just doing the final check before putting the head cover on and checking for tighness of bolts. Couldn't reach my good tools so used a 10mm socket from one of those £4.99 socket sets. Yes, the socket broke in half and fell down the cam tunnel. Very expensive strip down.
Taught me NEVER to use cheap tools near engines.
I can even manage to screw it up with go-karts Fitted my sons new wheels when it was on the stand and forgot to tighten them. He was travelling down the back straight when wheel came off and went over bank into field. It took him ages to find the wheel in the long grass. He wanted to sack me as his mechanic.
Just recently, I needed to do an oil change on my Rover and didn't have any axle stands to thought I could use two concrete breeze blocks to raise the height enough to get under the engine. As I tried to drive the car onto them they flipped up and smashed the whole front bumper off the car.
Rebuilt a turbo charged 1220cc drag bike engine. Just doing the final check before putting the head cover on and checking for tighness of bolts. Couldn't reach my good tools so used a 10mm socket from one of those £4.99 socket sets. Yes, the socket broke in half and fell down the cam tunnel. Very expensive strip down.
Taught me NEVER to use cheap tools near engines.
I can even manage to screw it up with go-karts
Fitted my sons new wheels when it was on the stand and forgot to tighten them. He was travelling down the back straight when wheel came off and went over bank into field. It took him ages to find the wheel in the long grass. He wanted to sack me as his mechanic.Just recently, I needed to do an oil change on my Rover and didn't have any axle stands to thought I could use two concrete breeze blocks to raise the height enough to get under the engine. As I tried to drive the car onto them they flipped up and smashed the whole front bumper off the car.
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***JUNIOR MECHANICS - UNDER 10 YEARS OLD***
Now this goes years back and is a real classic. My younger brother was working his scalextric set one evening while everyone else was watching television in another room.
Suddenly there was an almighty bang and the power went off. After dad reset the fuse he went to find out what had happened. During our challenging racing that day, some of the car driveshafts/engines had a build up of carpet fibre on them. This could usually be burnt off by running the car at full speed with the wheels off the ground. However this time my brother decided to splice mains wiring to to the nearest radio and 'hot wire' the engine. 240 Volts into something that small just does not go!
Of course he got a bol***king and sent to bed. I spoke to him the next day, and although he heard both our parents screaming at him about how he almost killed himself, he couldn't actually see them as he was blinded by the electrical explosion!
He learnt a lesson, so did I, and we are both better mechanics now. Am I temping fate?
Now this goes years back and is a real classic. My younger brother was working his scalextric set one evening while everyone else was watching television in another room.
Suddenly there was an almighty bang and the power went off. After dad reset the fuse he went to find out what had happened. During our challenging racing that day, some of the car driveshafts/engines had a build up of carpet fibre on them. This could usually be burnt off by running the car at full speed with the wheels off the ground. However this time my brother decided to splice mains wiring to to the nearest radio and 'hot wire' the engine. 240 Volts into something that small just does not go!
Of course he got a bol***king and sent to bed. I spoke to him the next day, and although he heard both our parents screaming at him about how he almost killed himself, he couldn't actually see them as he was blinded by the electrical explosion!
He learnt a lesson, so did I, and we are both better mechanics now. Am I temping fate?
\m/ ^_^ \m/
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From: 2010 Time Attack Club Pro Champion - Powered by ScoobyClinic
not my mistake this, i don't make any my uncle was working on his Volvo a few years ago around the fuel tank with an angle grinder and proceeded to ignite a full fuel tank in a huge ball of flames with him still under it had to have the fire service round to put the car & garage out, no idea how he survived it 
my uncle was working on his Volvo a few years ago around the fuel tank with an angle grinder and proceeded to ignite a full fuel tank in a huge ball of flames with him still under it had to have the fire service round to put the car & garage out, no idea how he survived it
well early this year was putting a spare on the mates car had the wheel off but decided i would warm up first so i proceded to get into the car tinking it would be safe but the car moved and fell on the jack jamming it under the car and with no way to lift it! what a **** i felt in the end someone stopped and helped us lift the car while i grabbed the jack from under it.
needless to say next time i wont try to warm up and il leave the spare under the car so if it does fall i can still get the jack out!
ciaran
needless to say next time i wont try to warm up and il leave the spare under the car so if it does fall i can still get the jack out!
ciaran
Joined: Apr 2002
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From: The hell where youth and laughter go
Blew up the petrol tank off me Landy whilst welding the chassis!
Ok the tank was empty and not fitted at the time; a spark somehow managed to jump the 10ft and go down the 1" hole for the fuel pickup pipe, igniting the dregs and going boom in quite a spectacular way
Ok the tank was empty and not fitted at the time; a spark somehow managed to jump the 10ft and go down the 1" hole for the fuel pickup pipe, igniting the dregs and going boom in quite a spectacular way
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POC,
Think yaself lucky......was getting the geometry checked, at the time had SuperTs on. Guy was rolling car forward, using the spokes,his fingers poking through, his mates were pushing. Shame they didn't stop pushing till the bloke lost the top of his finger - just got taken clean off between spokes and caliper. Think he did actually puke. And his mates wet themselves lffing
Most painful for me, was getting my nipple caught in a rivet gun. Made my eyes water a little
Think yaself lucky......was getting the geometry checked, at the time had SuperTs on. Guy was rolling car forward, using the spokes,his fingers poking through, his mates were pushing. Shame they didn't stop pushing till the bloke lost the top of his finger - just got taken clean off between spokes and caliper. Think he did actually puke. And his mates wet themselves lffing
Most painful for me, was getting my nipple caught in a rivet gun. Made my eyes water a little
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From: Lanark
Quality Thread this one!!
Another Spitfire story.. while proudly looking at the engine running after fitting new spark plugs, leaned over to rev throttle and stuck my hand on top of the distributor cap, that blew away the cobwebs! While rebuilding said spitfire my dad was happily welding on a new sill while I applied pressure on it with my feet, after doing the tack weld he lifted up his mask to admire his work... and stuck the red hot welding rod thru my trainers and in between my toes!! ******
Also he and my uncle bought a Lotus elan years ago in kit form, after many hours building it they proudly started it up to hear it roar....you guessed it no cam belt!
I come from a long line of mechanically inept people!
Dougie
Another Spitfire story.. while proudly looking at the engine running after fitting new spark plugs, leaned over to rev throttle and stuck my hand on top of the distributor cap, that blew away the cobwebs! While rebuilding said spitfire my dad was happily welding on a new sill while I applied pressure on it with my feet, after doing the tack weld he lifted up his mask to admire his work... and stuck the red hot welding rod thru my trainers and in between my toes!! ******
Also he and my uncle bought a Lotus elan years ago in kit form, after many hours building it they proudly started it up to hear it roar....you guessed it no cam belt!
I come from a long line of mechanically inept people!
Dougie
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From: home of the reds
Daftest thing i did was when i was 15 and doing up my kawasaki AR50
I was taking the wheels off for powder coating and i undid the wheel nuts to the back wheel and started to hammer the metal bar out to release the wheel,obviously they only go as far as the wheel itself so i put a screwdriver on the end and smacked it with the hammer!The screw driver decided to snap it half and shot up and smacked me in the mouth chipping my front tooth
Thread Starter
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From: Hemel Hempstead
PMSL @ this thread, you lot are killing me
Did another one today, jacking up the front of the scoob using a trolley jack, bent right down to look under the car as I was jacking it up, put my left hand ontop of the jack as I was pumping it with my right Cue a 1/2in blood blister on the palm of my left hand
It burst an hour later when I was doing something else, nasty business!
..... keep em coming!
Did another one today, jacking up the front of the scoob using a trolley jack, bent right down to look under the car as I was jacking it up, put my left hand ontop of the jack as I was pumping it with my right
Cue a 1/2in blood blister on the palm of my left hand It burst an hour later when I was doing something else, nasty business!
..... keep em coming!
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From: Switzerland
back in the days when I knew nothing about cars ( not that I know more now ) had a flatmate whose automatic was playing up. Checked the oil level and it was low. Not having any Auto transmission fluid, I filled it up with motor oil.... she couldnt even get it up the driveway after that.
stripped an engine in the street and left the bonnet up and the cylinder head onttop of the engine, i then decided to go into the house for a drink it was really windy and the wind blew the bonnet up and when it came down it fell right ontop of the cylinder head putting a ridiculous dent into the bonnet
it was really windy and the wind blew the bonnet up and when it came down it fell right ontop of the cylinder head putting a ridiculous dent into the bonnet
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From: A galaxy far far away.
LOL
I did that exact thing 3 days ago on my GT6 after fitting some new plug and KV85 comp leads.
while proudly looking at the engine running after fitting new spark plugs, leaned over to rev throttle and stuck my hand on top of the distributor cap, that blew away the cobwebs!
I did that exact thing 3 days ago on my GT6 after fitting some new plug and KV85 comp leads.