Use public transport?!?!?! Urrggh No ta!

Would be a bit weird to pull up in a car and started talking to people at the bus stop too.

 

Im sure its ok if you have a pocketfull of midget gems

 

I think I've spotted the flaw in your plan.....

 

Rohypnol.

 

lol

 

Most effective chat up line in the world? "Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?"

 

To the OP- If you want to find someone genuine, avoid POF and tinder imo.

 

Pubs, rohypnol, job done.

 

This is the best method,depending on how much of in a hurry you are to get hooked again.I never understood the whole dating site thing,you post a silly picture of yourself,fill in some stupid profile about yourself, what you like or don't like doing etc then sit and wait.**** that just get out and about.

 

Magical place the pub, where at the end of the evening all the women looks gorgeous

 

Place of work?

 

I hope your not having relationships with the birds where you work, I'm sure there are laws against that.

 

Some of you know I lost my wife couple of years ago and having children and work and not growing up in the area you live can make it hard to meet new people - or meet a new someone.

At Christmas I decided to put a profile on PoF. In the first 3 months of the year I've met 9 different women of which I've averaged a 1 in 3 chance of getting to 3rd base

I stuck with PoF as it's free although because it's free girls get hounded and getting your first message seen is tricky. Tinder is rubbish for me but I think it's because of where I live. On a weekend in Cardiff it went mental but wasn't fussed on a long distance relationship. Tried it with one girl in Swansea and (my mistake) I went from hello to my god I've fallen for her really bad it didn't work out and lasted a month

Get some decent pictures - if you're buff girls aren't overly keen on top off, snap back on and shades - least that is what pretty much everyone I've met has said. Write your profile a few times to get it right - it's not a CV so try not to make it sound like you're responding to a job interview.

Also, don't be put off if you don't get any responses. I tend to send say 10 messages at a time and wait for a response. Reason being if you get replies from 4 or 5 girls it takes up alot of time replying to them all. At one point I had to write down - Name, Age, Kids names, Kids ages, pets names etc etc just so I didn't lose track or slip up

I'd also say try to pace yourself if you get to date stage - try to have a couple of dates lined up so you've got that security blanket and you don't come across too needy/desperate. Also stick to a couple of dates with time inbetween. I had 3 dates in 3 days and it was tiring. Saying the same things over and over can get boring and it will show on the date.

If you do get to date stage although they all say the want something different like bowling or a nice walk on the beach its mostly bollox because they don't want to sound boring. Something light, easy to get out of if they turn out to be boring/using a pic from 5 years and 3 kids ago. Coffee with a reason to finish early is good - I once found myself waiting for a girl to go to the toilet before messaging a mate to call me in 30 mins to say my child needed me Also, don't mention 2nd date at the end of the 1st - keeps them guessing although after a couple of hours you'll both know if you want round 2.

I've been with the current girl for a couple of months now so haven't needed PoF but it worked for me. Was fortunate as I'd kind of exhausted all the good ones

 

Good post eddscott - hope it works out for you

 

In all honesty, I think one needs to be a bit more patient with this woman hunting. Filling the gap haphazardly straight after a loss of a long term relationship can mess with your and the new ones' minds even more!

Many men feel very, very lonely after the loss of a long term relationship, and they end up making a mistake of filling the gap asap with whoever half acceptable is available. Women in general tend to deal with the loss of a long term relationship differently, and don't always jump out at the first bus stop, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, coming back to men, I think it may help to give yourself some time before starting to find women to fill the gap. Find yourself first. Then you can find right people to go out with.

Another thing, to some macho men, women in their life are just trophies, and they are so shell-shocked when a relationship finishes because they've lost their trophy. Then they are out to fish for another one and another one and another one, in order to have that trophy back. They want to fit in with their mates who have a regular woman or two in their life, as well as the amazing ability to have some irregular ones on side when they like.

Just having a relationship is no good, unless it's a good one.

Anyhow, you need a woman at first place to even find out whether it's gonna be a good relationship or what, I know. So, just give yourself some time. Don't get frightened of the dark at night, just because your other half isn't there by your side any more.

Good luck.

 

All the women are gorgeous, it's just our mates or our high standards that stop people meeting good women

 

I think filling is more what he wants as I very much doubt he wants a long term relationship

 

Spot on EddScott! Hope it works out for you.

 

Didn't know you were his spokesman.

Edited to say that I just remembered that it was you, who spoke on his behalf on his take away thread as well. I remember it now that you indeed take yourself as his self-nominated spokesman.

In his opening post he is looking for nothing silly but genuine. I mean, in order to fill a gap, even silly girls should do for him. But just for filling purposes, he may start fishing on those dating sites prompto.

It's up to the individual what to do, but a lot of men out of a long term relationship go a bit disoriented, and start misfiring. Best idea is to gather yourself first.

 

I joined a few online sites in recent months. I would say the people genuinely wanting a relationship were few and far between, certainly on the free sites. Pof really put me off. I deleted them all and decided to just stop looking.

I really believe the best way to meet people is through shared interests, running, car meets, etc. You do have to get yourself out there though!

 

But this time I'm going to keep my mouth shut and I did apologise on that thread but it was deleted

 

I did see the apology there, stevebt. Many thanks for being mindful this time.

 

A lot of men do. They have to have a replacement asap. For a lot of men, I reckon it is to do with their bruised ego as well, not just feeling lonely. They go around putting their pictures with their new partner up on the Facebook every so often. That picture changes every so often from 'lonely single' to 'happy couple' and with different birds at least bi-annually, so does their relationship status from 'In a relationship' to 'Single' and 'Interested in women'. Every time they post their picture with a new woman, all their mates say to them 'Well done, so happy for you!"

Works like a fvvking game for some people, I tell you!

 

lol

Been apart and in my own place for 8 months now.Suppose really,I'm still going to leave it for a bit.Just play my cricket!

So,unless there is a cricket loving girl out there who loves doing cricket teas and cooking generally ;-) I'll just wait and see what happens

Not going down the online dating route given what people say.Just take it as it comes.Or buy a Lotus Elise and wax that every night.lol

 

POF has just Mind-f**ked me

Clicked on a profile, nice pic, sporty bod...then a pic of her on a beach in a Bikini with Simon Cowell...WTF, that can't be legit...can it?

 

I know plenty of women who do the sane, sometimes they've had a new fella lined up before binning the one they were with. I don't think it's a case of wanting kudos or back -slapping, I think some people just can't be alone or are scared to be alone.

 

Yes I totally believe that is true for some men (and women). Unfortunately POF, tinder etc is clogged up with people who aren't necessarily ready for 'long term relationship' but say they are. People go straight onto these sites before they've even properly separated.

By the same token I avoided all men who were 45, never married, no kids and longest relationship was less than 1 year. Red flag


I also know someone recently engaged who met someone on match.com. Horses for courses it seems!

 

lol

 

Well, in that case, you might be ready to move on by now. You know yourself the best, man.

Yeah, and you should put down that that girl will have to put up with your high appreciation for Jeremy Clarckson as well.

In my opinion, wise move. But then again, free country.

I think you should do that, anyway. Girls will like you more if you have one of them.

 

Well, the findings are that generally, men have higher sexual drive than women. Men are also found to be more prone to prefer more than one sexual partners at one time, although women have also moved on miles with that, in this day and age. Now even when they've moved on loads, it's usually women with the custody of the kids. They may have less time in hand to 'serial date', in compare to their exes. This gap may be wider or narrower in different cultures, subcultures and social settings. Biological differences also play part i.e. difference in the level or androgens.

So, for such cultural, social, environmental and biological etc. reasons, it won't surprise me that males may score over all higher in looking for and getting a new one sharpish while the women (may have to) hang on for a bit longer.

Other thing is that women are more prone to post traumatic stress. With that, if they have had traumatic relationships in past, they may be dreading to start a new one too quick, or may never start another one. Saying that, the pattern is seen that when they do find a new one at some point, they seem to find the men with similar characteristics with "Come and get me, trauma!" style.

Women tend to find themselves as 'damaged goods' psychologically, for longer. They also get body image bothered for they may find themselves less attractive due to previous break ups/rejections and increasing fat on their body with passing time, whereas men usually find themselves quite fit as long as their peanut is in working order. We all know that the 'use by' date has been set shorter for women than that for men.

However, I agree that no matter whether less or more, there are women as well that cannot handle being by themselves, and start filling the gap as soon as, with even a contingency plan in hand , with whatever becomes/is available for them, no matter how delusionary.

PS: About wanting kudos or b1tch slapping, it's no news that the pride is hurt when someone rejects you. Hence comes the behaviour of doing one over other. So, I still believe than some men would want to show their exes that they are such damn good catch who gets bought as seen sharpish. Peer pressure also means one must keep up appearances with a bird on side, so hey.

And yes, some women also do that sort of things.