so i have a cough from my bout of flu... and this joke has just almost killed me with fits of "cloughter"

"i was in asda this morning and a woman dropped dead, i felt really sorry for her as she had just bought a bag for life"

 

Check this guy out who went for a job!! -

Resimay

Too hoom
it mae cunsern,


I waunt to
apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar
and do sum a counting....


I think I am
good on the phone and I do no I am a pepole person, Pepole really
seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the
ladies.


I no my
spelling is not to good but find that I offen get a job thru my
persinalety.


My salerery is
open so we can discus wat jou want to pay me and what you think that
I am werth,


I can start
emeditely.


Thank you in
advanse fore yore anser.


hopifuly yore
best aplicant so farr.


Sinseerly,
BRYAN (nickname Beefy)

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short -
below is pickture of me



















































Employer's response:....

Dear Beefy - I mean Bryan ,

It's OK honey, we got

SPELL CHECK!!!

See you Monday.


Ellie

 

 

He can have a job at our place but he'd have to work topless!!

 

and he'd be subject to security searches, pat downs etc... at least every 1/2 hour

 

Oh and he would have to be my tea boy (and i would drink alot of it!! )

P.S. TEA THAT IS

 

hee hee hee


actual call centre conversation...
customer "i've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and i cant get through to enquiries"
operator "where did you get that number from sir?"
customer "it was on the door of the travel centre"
operator "sir, those are our opening hours"

 

am liking Bryan......

 

Check this flid out!!

Read the emails and his replys!! -


From: Niresh Regmi
Sent: Wednesday, 27 August 2008 9:35 a.m.
To: Kyle Doyle
Subject: Absence on Thursday 21st 2008

Hi Kyle,
Please provide a medical certificate stating a valid reason for your sick leave on Thursday 21st 2008.
Thank You

NIRESH REGMI
Real Time Manager, Workforce Operations
Ground Floor, 30 Ross Street, Glebe, NSW, 2037
T: +61 2 9009 1329 Extn:61329
F: + 61 2 9009 1734
W: www.aapt.com.au
E: niresh.regmi@aapt.com.au

From: Kyle Doyle
Sent: Wednesday, 27 August 2008 9:38 a.m.
To: Niresh Regmi
Subject: RE: Absence on Thursday 21st 2008

Niresh,
1 day leave absences do not require a medical certificate as stated in my contract, provided I have stated that I am on leave for medical reasons.
Thanks
Regards,

Kyle Doyle
Resolutions Expert - Technical


From: Niresh Regmi
Sent: Wednesday, 27 August 2008 9:39 a.m.
To: Kyle Doyle
Subject: RE: Absence on Thursday 21st 2008

Hi Kyle,
Usually that is the case, as per your contract. However please note that leave during these occasions is only granted for genuine medical reasons. You line manager has determined that your leave was not due to medical reasons and as such we cannot grant leave on this occasion.

NIRESH REGMI
Real Time Manager, Workforce Operations
Ground Floor, 30 Ross Street, Glebe, NSW, 2037
T: +61 2 9009 1329 Extn:61329
F: + 61 2 9009 1734
W: www.aapt.com.au
E: niresh.regmi@aapt.com.au


From: Kyle Doyle
Sent: Wednesday, 27 August 2008 9:43 a.m.
To: Niresh Regmi
Subject: RE: Absence on Thursday 21st 2008

Hi Niresh,
My leave was due to medical reasons, so you cannot deny leave based on a line manager’s discretion, with no proof, please process leave as requested.
Thanks

Regards,

Kyle Doyle
Resolutions Expert - Technical


Hi Kyle,
I believe the proof that you are after is below:



NIRESH REGMI
Real Time Manager, Workforce Operations
Ground Floor, 30 Ross Street, Glebe, NSW, 2037
T: +61 2 9009 1329 Extn:61329
F: + 61 2 9009 1734
W: www.aapt.com.au
E: niresh.regmi@aapt.com.au


From: Kyle Doyle
Sent: Wednesday, 27 August 2008 9:55 a.m.
To: Niresh Regmi
Subject: RE: Absence on Thursday 21st 2008

HAHAHA LMAO epic fail

No worries man

Regards,

Kyle Doyle
Resolutions Expert - Technical



Face book catches another out!!!!

 

lmao cracking!!!

 

ELLIE......

 

Ow Wench.....

 

(oh bugger he saw it)

obviously i like my men with a little more meat on them...and a platnum card helps too

stop being silly ladies !!!!