What a crap week
27 September 2008, 09:03 PM
#1
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What a crap week
Sorry to lay my troubles on people but this week my family learned that the pneumonia which had hospitalized my Mum wasn't as a result of a bad flu she's been fighting for several weeks, but that both were as a result of her immune system being on its last legs due to cancer 
The initial diagnosis sees it in her lungs, liver, lymph nodes and spine, so things don't look very promising as we await the full prognosis from the specialists next week.
I'm going through a range of emotions right now, obviously very sad, but also angry as I've asked her ever since I knew what cigarettes were to stop smoking, and last year when we told her that she would be getting a grandson I begged her to make a big effort, but I know deep down that even then it was probably too late to stop what now ails her.
When Joel was born she said 'I feel like I have something new to live for', which seems painfully ironic now. This is where my biggest torment lies, as some of my most treasured childhood memories are from the time I spent with my grandparents. I can only hope my Dad who's not too well either doesn't go too soon and is able to carry that hope for them both.
She has taken the news about as well as anyone could and remains calm and philosophical, on the outside at least, and my Dad is coping well considering. He can't drive at the moment as his hands are crippled with (we think) rheumatoid arthritis so the whole family are working together to ensure she is visited daily and my Dad gets all the support he needs. My 39th birthday yesterday is one which passed mostly un-noticed, and I am glad as I would rather forget it.
The initial diagnosis sees it in her lungs, liver, lymph nodes and spine, so things don't look very promising as we await the full prognosis from the specialists next week.I'm going through a range of emotions right now, obviously very sad, but also angry as I've asked her ever since I knew what cigarettes were to stop smoking, and last year when we told her that she would be getting a grandson I begged her to make a big effort, but I know deep down that even then it was probably too late to stop what now ails her.
When Joel was born she said 'I feel like I have something new to live for', which seems painfully ironic now. This is where my biggest torment lies, as some of my most treasured childhood memories are from the time I spent with my grandparents. I can only hope my Dad who's not too well either doesn't go too soon and is able to carry that hope for them both.
She has taken the news about as well as anyone could and remains calm and philosophical, on the outside at least, and my Dad is coping well considering. He can't drive at the moment as his hands are crippled with (we think) rheumatoid arthritis so the whole family are working together to ensure she is visited daily and my Dad gets all the support he needs. My 39th birthday yesterday is one which passed mostly un-noticed, and I am glad as I would rather forget it.
27 September 2008, 09:40 PM
#2
Sorry to hear all this mate. Hope ya ok an staying strong for ya family! hope you get some good news soon! just try to keep smiling mate!
I know its probably the worst birthday but everyone needs to hear it whether it be a good day or bad, Happy birthday!
I know its probably the worst birthday but everyone needs to hear it whether it be a good day or bad, Happy birthday!
27 September 2008, 10:59 PM
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So so sorry to hear your devastating news Dave.
All we can do is pray for you, and just remember to
be strong as a family, because your family is your strength.
Mick and Jackie
All we can do is pray for you, and just remember to
be strong as a family, because your family is your strength.
Mick and Jackie
27 September 2008, 11:34 PM
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Sorry to hear that your birthday got overlooked, on the other score, it's hard to accept what is after all inevitable.
Being accelerated by smoking doesn't ease the pain of losing a close family member. As said elsewhere both my parents smoked till within their last two weeks, where the "enjoyment" was overtaken by nausea.
Just try and salvage the best by doing as much as you can to help at this difficult time, then you don't need to feel any guilt at the outcome. You can only do your best.
I would offer to help, but it's not easy to unload to an outsider, especially whilst you are being run ragged by the situation. I know I couldn't, and as a result it was nearly a year before I was fully functional again.
Regards,
Duncan
Being accelerated by smoking doesn't ease the pain of losing a close family member. As said elsewhere both my parents smoked till within their last two weeks, where the "enjoyment" was overtaken by nausea.
Just try and salvage the best by doing as much as you can to help at this difficult time, then you don't need to feel any guilt at the outcome. You can only do your best.
I would offer to help, but it's not easy to unload to an outsider, especially whilst you are being run ragged by the situation. I know I couldn't, and as a result it was nearly a year before I was fully functional again.
Regards,
Duncan
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29 September 2008, 09:05 AM
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having someone close affected by disease is always the most terrible news, it sad that a lot of us will know how you feel and the sympathies of us all are with you during what will be a most difficult time ahead.
i'm sure i wont be the only one to say it, but if you ever need anything, just ask, i'm more than sure that we will all try and help in anyway we can, even if its just a run out somewhere to get your mind away for a day.
my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family
i'm sure i wont be the only one to say it, but if you ever need anything, just ask, i'm more than sure that we will all try and help in anyway we can, even if its just a run out somewhere to get your mind away for a day.
my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family
29 September 2008, 09:53 AM
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Dave
Am really sorry to hear about all of this.
My thoughts are with you and yours.
Best regards
Martyn
Am really sorry to hear about all of this.
My thoughts are with you and yours.
Best regards
Martyn
01 October 2008, 03:28 AM
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Very sad news Dave, and i can only repeat what the others have said, Pray and try to spend as much time as you can with your loved ones, if I can help with anything just give us a shout..
03 October 2008, 08:31 PM
#16
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Thank you to everybody for their kind words and genorous offers. Sorry I haven't been on before but as you can appreciate, the interweb is low on my priorities right now and my home connection is broken.
Things took a turn for the worse today when we had a consultation with the specialist and he informed us that she had worsened during the previous night, prompting them to move her to a private room so as not to distress others on the ward. The prognosis of weeks has now been reduced to days, and at one point was hours until her new pain relief seemed to rouse her a little. This evening she politely told all her visitors to 'sod off'.
So, respecting her wish to be alone at this moment we all await the hospital calling us to say she is getting near the end in the hope we can be there to say our goodbyes.
On top of this we learned on Thursday that my cousins partner whom was expecting IVF triplets has lost them at 5 months.
Things took a turn for the worse today when we had a consultation with the specialist and he informed us that she had worsened during the previous night, prompting them to move her to a private room so as not to distress others on the ward. The prognosis of weeks has now been reduced to days, and at one point was hours until her new pain relief seemed to rouse her a little. This evening she politely told all her visitors to 'sod off'.
So, respecting her wish to be alone at this moment we all await the hospital calling us to say she is getting near the end in the hope we can be there to say our goodbyes.
On top of this we learned on Thursday that my cousins partner whom was expecting IVF triplets has lost them at 5 months.
06 October 2008, 07:03 PM
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Oh Dave, so sorry.
There is nothing anyone can do or say to ease the pain.
But it does get a little bit easier.
Just keep talking about your Mum to each other
Remembering the good times keeps her memory alive.
All we can do is pray for you and yours
Jackie & Mick
There is nothing anyone can do or say to ease the pain.
But it does get a little bit easier.
Just keep talking about your Mum to each other
Remembering the good times keeps her memory alive.
All we can do is pray for you and yours
Jackie & Mick
Last edited by jackwrx; 06 October 2008 at 07:07 PM.
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