How Men & Women differ!
20 June 2006, 06:07 PM
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How Men & Women differ!
>HOW MEN AND WOMEN DIFFER
>
>NICKNAMES
>* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
>Laura, Kate and Sarah.
>* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
>other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
>
>EATING OUT
>* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20,
>even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
>and none will actually admit they want change back.
>* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
>MONEY
>* A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
>* A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
>sale
>
>BATHROOMS
>* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
>shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
>* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
>man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
>
>ARGUMENTS
>* A woman has the last word in any argument.
>* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
>CATS
>* Women love cats.
>* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
>
>FUTURE
>* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
>SUCCESS
>* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
>MARRIAGE
>* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
>DRESSING UP
>* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
>bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
>* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
>NATURAL
>* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
>OFFSPRING
>* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
>dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
>fears and hopes and dreams.
>* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
>THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
>* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
>people remembering the same thing.
>
>* What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to
>clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we
>don't do the laundry now.
>* What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah,
>blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,
>blah, blah, NOW
>
>NICKNAMES
>* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
>Laura, Kate and Sarah.
>* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
>other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
>
>EATING OUT
>* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20,
>even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
>and none will actually admit they want change back.
>* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
>MONEY
>* A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
>* A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
>sale
>
>BATHROOMS
>* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
>shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
>* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
>man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
>
>ARGUMENTS
>* A woman has the last word in any argument.
>* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
>CATS
>* Women love cats.
>* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
>
>FUTURE
>* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
>SUCCESS
>* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
>MARRIAGE
>* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
>DRESSING UP
>* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
>bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
>* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
>NATURAL
>* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
>OFFSPRING
>* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
>dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
>fears and hopes and dreams.
>* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
>THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
>* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
>people remembering the same thing.
>
>* What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to
>clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we
>don't do the laundry now.
>* What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah,
>blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,
>blah, blah, NOW
That way to muppets ---------->
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