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Old 15 August 2005, 01:57 PM
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dmc1980
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Smile M1 Speed Trap

While I was driving down the M1 today, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.



The copper pulled me over,walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk,asked: "Runway too short?"



To which I replied, "I'm late for work."



To which he asked, "What do you do?"



"I'm a sphincter stretcher," I responded.



The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A sphincter stretcher?? And just what does a sphincter stretcher do?"



"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."



Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot ***?"



To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."



Speeding ticket: £105.00



Penalty Points : 3



Court costs: £45



Look on copper's face: Priceless

Last edited by dmc1980; 15 August 2005 at 02:00 PM.
Old 15 August 2005, 02:03 PM
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Swen6
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Old 15 August 2005, 02:04 PM
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PMSL
Old 15 August 2005, 03:07 PM
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Old 15 August 2005, 04:07 PM
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hahahaha
Old 15 August 2005, 04:11 PM
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IN THE STICKS
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Old 15 August 2005, 04:18 PM
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GEORDIE STI
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HI MATE, WICH PART OF THE M1 WAS IT ? AS IM GOING TO LOUGHBOROUGH,LIECESTERHSIRE ON WENESDAY AND NORMALLY TAKE THE M1.

NICE ONE MATE, PMSL


DAVE

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Old 15 August 2005, 04:19 PM
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dmc1980
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I didnt really do that. Just thought it was funny. You would need mighty big ***** to have a go at that one!
Old 15 August 2005, 04:22 PM
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GEORDIE STI
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YEAH ***** OF STEEL MORE LIKE MATE,THANKS ANYWAY SAVES THE BOTHER LOOKING ON BRIDGES FOR THE TW.TS.




DAVE
Old 15 August 2005, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted by GEORDIE STI
HI MATE, WICH PART OF THE M1 WAS IT ? AS IM GOING TO LOUGHBOROUGH,LIECESTERHSIRE ON WENESDAY AND NORMALLY TAKE THE M1.

NICE ONE MATE, PMSL


DAVE
FPMSL
Old 15 August 2005, 04:25 PM
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GEORDIE STI
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PROBLEM WAGGY DOO ?????????
Old 15 August 2005, 04:27 PM
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Luke C
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Originally Posted by GEORDIE STI
PROBLEM WAGGY DOO ?????????


Hiya Mate,

If you are coming from newcastle I would not worry too much but if you go from the south between junction 21 down to 20 has the specs system as there are roadworks

Just so you know Dude.........
Old 15 August 2005, 04:32 PM
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GEORDIE STI
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CHEERS FOR THAT INFO MATE.MUCH APPRECAITED. STILL GOT YOUR SCOOB ?

I'LL HAVE TO LOOK YOU UP WHEN IM IN LOUGHBOROUGH,STAYING AT GF'S FOR FEW DAYS.


CHEERS MATE


DAVE
Old 15 August 2005, 10:09 PM
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Originally Posted by GEORDIE STI
PROBLEM WAGGY DOO ?????????
Handbag Alert - Handbag Alert
Old 15 August 2005, 10:20 PM
  #15  
GEORDIE STI
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lol@jods
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