julian N/W wrx my93

went to see my ex today and saw my daugher as well.


was having a chat about "things" as you do and basically it came down to........


"i'll come back if you sell the car"

then shes says about selling my house and renting somewhere together.



she's living with her parents at the mo, and i think shes being brainwashed by them.


so it a tough choice, scooby or the hassle and nagging that goes with free sex!

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

mate I see you post on here quite often and from what I can tell you are a sound bloke but honestly I'd not wash my dirty laundry in public like this... just asking for too much trouble. Nobody knows you or the circumstances so don't bother with it on here.

all the best.

stevey

iTrader: (2)

scooby they are tempremental (think thats right) but still less hassle than a woman

Pedro_79

Hmm, I'm guessing that there were more issues in your relationship than just your choice of automobile.

Or was it the fact that you had a car at all???

Lee247

Why do you have to sell your car & your house? What's she giving up? Don't do it. See a good solicitor. Keep your car and your daughter. Give your ex the chop. Sorry to sound harsh, but I'm female, with 2 children and can't understand her reasoning.

Brun

If it's down to ya mota then let her keep the free sex.......... in fact tell her to go **** herself

Ayde

iTrader: (6)

Sell the car and the house, buy a new Scooby then spend the rest on modding it and move in with her parents

Its a tricky one that, especially when you have a daughter

julian N/W wrx my93

She said she doesn't like coming 2nd best to a car........


but she and the baby comes (or used to) come to most of the meets, she enjoyed the NBO (when we got there) etc


but the selling up idea is just daft, with house prices as they are at the moment etc.

and rach only works 20 hours a week in a minimun wage job (shes 22). so i said if she wants nice things etc i can't do it alone, she needs to help me.
and the look on her face when i mentioned that...........




forgot to add the babys only 14 months old.

julian N/W wrx my93

i not afriad to tell both saides of the story...........

and just asking all my mates in the community for advice!
i'll be asking everyone i work with in the morning!

Jamo

iTrader: (23)

your taking the pi55 right? its a no brainer sell the car mate, its a piece of metal, id goto the meets in a fiesta, everyone will still be there, come find me, ile give you the keys if you need a blast!!!!

all the best.

jamo

julian N/W wrx my93

actually no not taking the pi$$.


she want's me to give up things, but shes not prepared to help out/give up anything herself.


she still lives at home with mum and dad, and i think they don't want her to go out in to the big wide world. She has a bro who stays at his g/f most of the time, so they're turning his room in to a room for the baby............


Grandchilditis or what, be fun if the bro splits from his g/f!

wwp8

she wants you to sell everything you got???

what happens if she leaves you again.

obviously i can't comment cos i don't know why you two split up at the first place.

if she's not letting you see your baby then thats different,
but at the moment, take it slow,
does she want a share of any profit when you sell your stuff?

Jamo

iTrader: (23)

lay the law down.

a relationship is about both of you making sacrifices, if she expects you to do this then she must also be willing to do the same.

imho of course.

Pedro_79

Well she would have a point if your choice of car was affecting your financial stability as a family....

But if she and your child were well looked after (financially), then I don't see why you shouldn't spend your spare cash on your hobby (albeit an expensive one).

I would agree, but I don't think that your partner 'wanting' you to sell the car is a good enough reason.

IMO this is just a symptom of an underlying problem.
I'm sure Julian will correct me if I'm wrong...

julian N/W wrx my93

its all my stuff!


[QUOTEa relationship is about both of you making sacrifices, if she expects you to do this then she must also be willing to do the same][/QUOTE]


i bought a cheap house in need of a fair bit of work, which i've done most of myself etc, she moans about the house saying when is it going to be finish etc, but won't help. She says cos of the baby (needs constant looking after etc), and i say even if you just make me a drink or something to eat while i work on the house as moral support. But she won't.

julian N/W wrx my93

financial stability as a family.........


i have a diesel astra estate and motor traders 3rd party only insurance (£500 a year) and put about £15 of juice in it a week. and a tenner of derv in the astra!

so the money side isn't a problem, the house swallows up most of it.


also she tells me she's never like the house i bought, i've had it 2 years in april, she could've told me over a year ago.............

scooby-si

keep the scooby and pay £40 for a ****

julian N/W wrx my93

AJF

iTrader: (1)

start at the begin again

ie you live at your place and she lives at home with mummy and daddy and see how it goes if the same problems are still there call it a day and see the child when you can

dont start with bad feelings as that will kill all feelings sooner or later



Adrian

hades

If you love her enough, changing car or house shouldn't be an issue. I tend to run on the pragmatic side - if it makes me happier and doesn't hurt anyone else, sod the principles!

However, if she loves you, it should work the other way too. Not wanting to live in a building site, maybe understandable but should look for some compromise. But why is she bothered about the car - are you really spending any time with her and making her feel unloved? From your comments, is she looking for an "easy ride financially"?

If you are sure you can genuinely trust her, and that you both really love each other, the answer is obvious. If you know you can't trust her, or the love isn't there, the answer is equally obvious, although different!

wwp8

thats cheap where from?

julian N/W wrx my93

i told her if i sold the car, i'd sell the astra estate as well, then buy a 2.5 diesel omega estate (with the bmw engine in!)



she seem to like that...............


but she doesn't know that much about cars!


so where can i get one modded!

AJF

iTrader: (1)

start with dating and go from there if you think it might work dont sell any thing untill your sure your doing the right thing


Adrian

*Sonic*

Julian

(i will be serious for once on a reply to your posts )

if she means that much to you, sell the car, you can always get another one

How much is left to do on the house, not read your thread for ages why doesnt she like the house? is the type, the area, because its not finished, etc etc

Why wont she help (making brew's etc) I can understand with the baby taking up a lot or or of her/your time

I personally wouldnt sell the house, not with what you paid for it, and it is pointless renting (throwing money down the drain) if you own a house already, spend the money on getting that finished, and if she really doesnt like it/wont move in etc then you could sell that to finance another house that you both like

You said she doesnt like coming 2nd to the car

TBH certainly the first few meets you came to, you could never stop talking about your daughter, and showing us pics of her on your phone, you hardly mentioned the scoob

Does the Scoob really come first ?

I would have a long hard think about what you want, and if you can both compromise, then im sure you will work it out

BTW the brake pads are twice the size, so I still need rear pads !!!!



Steve

julian N/W wrx my93

another thing that came up is that we never used to go out.

But she worked 8-5 mon, tue wed. And me 12-10 mon, thur fri and 6-4night sat, plus theres things like getting a babysitter etc....

but now i work 8-6 (days) mon thur fri and 6-4(night) sat so have more time in the evening etc. i suggest going out and she said she'd think about it.

julian N/W wrx my93

i thinks its the area more than anything. I grew up round here and don't mind it, but as you know being from outside and the reputation its got etc.

also how long since i took the scooby to a meet, took it to the last one!

and how much would i get for it, about £2k probally!

julian N/W wrx my93

oh and theres still loads to do on the house......


all the main stuff is done, just needs decorating now (sort of) and windows/double glazing fitting. oh and the gardens sorted out!

wwp8

woah
that is sooooo jerry maguire/ or jim carey in liar liar

it sounds like great father but bad partner
don't let her know that
otherwise she starts moaning if it wasn't for the daughter you won't go
back,
true or not true you should never tell

*Sonic*

have you got a timescale of when it woudl be ready to move in, with the baby ?

Well yeah it has been a while since you took the scoob to a meet, the area can be off putting, a bit in a way like my Mum & Dads street, looks nice, but there has been guns down there recently, but Im comfortable there, because I grew up there

probably wouldnt be that cost effective to get rid of the scoob, why does she want you to get rid of it then ,if she knows you dont take it to meets etc

lordlucan

good luck Jue....

IMHO do whats right for your daughter, if it doesnt work out at least you can tell her when she is older you did all you could.
Keep the house, its a roof over your head. Sell the car, at least you have met her half way then.

J