anc-sti

I live in a village up north, quite place no trouble etc, etc.
Last night I was woken by a noise the the dog went mental looked out of the window and there was someone by the car. So legged it out(2am) with nout but a scary hair do and pj's. checked car seemed it seemed OK, then I noticed the people down the road to I went after them to find out what they were doing.

Two teenage girls off there faces.

Me: What **** were you doing with my car

Girl: Oh I'm sorry, I just wanted to stroke it.

Me: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you fecking muppet, stay away from the car etc, etc.

Went back to get a torch to check the car properly, wife(teacher) out at this point and goes after the girls and give them what for, poor buggers.

So now proper paraniod, are the joys of owning a Scooby!

Dream Weaver

Sounds like the quiet Northern village where i live, where was it?

anc-sti

Brigham, nr Cockermouth, Cumbria

BishopDevious

Sounds like something that could be on Graham Norton. Car stroking....weird!

corradoboy

Stroking.....Cockermouth.....teenage girls....off their faces....give them what for

Fnar, fnar

Aaquil

You dirty old man!!!

corradoboy

That's what he said, not me

Simon Lau

Cockinermouth... sounds like a nice place! LOL

Nearest experience I had was went some geek was using my rear spoiler to steady his hands taking pictures of a fireworks display. I was away for 20 minutes watching from a better spot so I guess he'd been using it in all that time...checked the spoiler and lucky no marks! ... cheeky ****

corradoboy

I had a young kid on roller blades hang on to the boot as I pootled around one of those housing estates where you really must go slow. I accelerated very progressively before slamming all on and hearing him smash into my boot (wasn't in the Scoob-was a long time ago). When I got out to give him a piece of my mind I found him lying dazed half under the rear bumper with a nose bleed

minor_threat

LOL! I was expecting you to say you lived in Royston Vasey with the other League of Gentlemen people. Stroking your car . . . strange activities . . . get worried when they want to start licking it. (The car that is.)

oztokyo

I came out of Reading railway stn. car park (undercover) one night and as I emerged from the exit this teenager on a bike comes down the footpath like a scared cat and ploughs straight into my rear left hand. I saw it all happen in slow motion, and it must be said he looked comical for the spit second his face was squashed against the window. Lucky glass didn't break but he put some nice dents in the door.

I jumped out and started yelling but he looked really stunned and scared so I left him alone to his pain. Stupid mistake by him but I ended up paying for it. Such is life.

oztokyo

The best one I've heard was from my mate who heard some noises outside and immediately suspects someone trying to nick his car. This is about 1:00am.

Anyway he sneaks out with f**k-off sized metal torch and catched drunk guy from party up the road ******** very drunk bird doggy over his bonnet. He wasn't sure if he should tell them off or grab a seat and watch the show. Anyway he votes for telling them off and the bloke takes a runner with his trousers around his knees but the bird gives him plenty of lip while she hoiks up the pants, adjusts and stumbles off into the night. Next morning he spots some paintwork scuffs probably from her jewelry and/or assorted accessories. This wasn't scoob but BMW great story anyway.

messiah

Brigham - why am I surprised? is it an STI8 you have? just wondering if it was you I flashed to on saturday when I was coming out of Broughton.

Iwan

I was out cycling a few years ago, and was sitting having a drink by the side of the road in a tiny village near where i live. Across the road from where i was sitting was this big manor house with a wall round it and steel motorised front gates that open inwards. The bloke that lives there is apparently the old manager of the Beatles, can't remember his name though.

Anyway, as i'm sitting there drinking my water the gates open up, and a really nice new Bentley (the one that looks like a Rolls but has mucho big turbos) in british racing green slowly drives out of the gates. As i was enviously looking at the Bentley i didn't notice a lad on a BMX come flying down the hill from round the corner, he's on the pavement the other side of the road and really moving.

Bentley pulls out slowly across the pavement (unsighted as there's high stone walls both sides) and SLAM, the lad piles into the side and launches over the roof.

It was like the scene in the original Waynes World where Waynes ex rides into the side of the corvette.

Matey dives out and picks up the kid off the floor checking he's ok (he's a bit stunned but not injured), then straitens his handlebars and puts the chain back on before sending the lad on his way. Nothing said whatsoever about the totally caved-in and scratched door skin on the Bentley!

You could tell he was worth a quid or two!

anc-sti

If it was silver it was probably me, sorry I didn't spot you.

BishopDevious

They could have been on the special stuff!

anc-sti

You could be right, we have a local shop for local people.

BishopDevious

16vmarc

Pics of the teenage girls?

messiah

Royston Vasey is a bit up-market for Cumbrian villages...

...with the possible exception of Frizington.

Obviously wasn't you I saw - this one was blue.

mark@wrx

Hmm, sounds like Brigham but more likely Frizington. Could even be Pica!

RobinSherwood

Before I picked my car up from the dealer, when it was new, they apparently had some guy come in who just wanted to 'touch' it - maybe there is some weird Scooby worshipping cult out there

Robin

LiamWR1

Vic Reeves rubbing his trousers springs to mind

Bubba po

In the delightful Cumbrian village of Egremont dwells a family where the father sits on a pile of plywood, red velour and disconnected springs that he laughingly refers to as a chair; The son is about eight, fat as a prize-winning pig, and eats cornflakes out of a potato-peeling bowl; finally, the mother entered the World gurning contest at Egremont crab fair and came second. I'm not even exaggerating.

messiah

That gurning contest has been won by Michaela Strachan - how can anyone compete with that?

Bubba po

You mean the bloke in the invalid carriage with saliva marks from his bottom lip on the back of his head didn't win?

messiah

pah! he was just an amateur!

ThrustSSC

Yes you are! Egremont's dodgy as hell...

pablohunny

I know for a fact that the gurning championships were held last month during Global Gathering at Long Marston Airfield, just outside Stratford-upon-Avon. I saw at least 32,000 of 'em! (that was before I passed out)

p.s. no sign of Michaela Strachen though - maybe she was one of the judges along with Judge Jules?