trugoy

Sorry for a very long post but bear with me, this was not good, I have posted a few wind-ups on here but this is true and it was not a pleasant experience, went to IKEA (warrington) today, recieved a phone call as I walked in the door, saw inviting looking couch in entrance and took a breather for the phone call, all good stuff.

Finished call and went to eat regulation meatballs and chips before tackling shopping part, fished in pocket for change to pay for said food and..... money there but no keys, do regulation check (four times each per pocket) still no keys, controlled panic starts. Gather thoughts, must have slipped from pocket when in relaxed possition on couch - action to be taken - go and ask if handed in, leave food and bemused counter assistant and head straight for entrance, welcome staff standing opposite couch in entrance, "have any keys been handed in" I ask with the confidence of somebody expecting the 9 out of 10 people to find keys and hand them in on my side.

NO, not to me I'll just go and check, all checks done, still no, once again, gather thoughts. There was no possible way I could have lost them anywhere else as I put them in the pocket of my jacket just before I sat down then went straight to the resturant, next thought, not nice, some ****** has found a set of keys with a Subaru alarm fob, this ****** has processed that the car park is big but not unmanageable, a walk around the car park with random and regular presses of the button near Subaru's would probably come up trumps, controlled panic starts to waiver, now aware of panic being close to surface. Action to be taken - run to car and make sure it's still there - do this and it is there, transitory relief, then I remember I have no keys and there is a chance someone else does.

What now, two choices, stay near car and wait for shifty looking person to walk past randomly pressing a key fob or go and ask if keys handed in again, decide to smoke cigarette and wait, been waiting for 15 minutes and decide to go and ask again when, yes, there comes a shifty looking ****** with his hand by his side eyeing up my scoob, 2 seconds later the hazards of my beloved scoob flash, his face says bingo. I am known for being a pacifist, I do not subscribe to violence but today I gained a remarkable insight into how violent people tick, a plethora of violent acts crossed my mind about how this situation must be dealt with and none were pretty, I weighed up my opponent and decided that unless armed, I had a very strong chance of coming off best, panic turned to anger and then to pure hate, testosterone got the better of me and I waded in, at this point everything got a bit surreal, instead of the gangsta-esc thoughts I had on the HE-MAN stroll over, when I got there I politely said "you have the keys to my car and i would like them back please", now things got very interesting, he obviously had not planned for this but was a bit more used to conflict than I am and instantly replied that I must be at the wrong car as this was definately his, the confusion on my face must have been fairly noticable as he seemed to pull a grimace that said "I cannot believe this guy bought that", then automatic intstinct took over, I punched him as hard as I possibly could in the left hand side of face and he fell on the floor like a sack of ****, I knocked him out cold, the HE-MAN swagger returned and he was out for the count on the floor, when I resumed some composure and got underneath the events that had just taken place I bent down, calmly, and removed my keys from the floor just next to where he was lying.

Now what, the police?, give him a proper filling in, stomp on the head and all that? No, I remember my pacifist roots and do the proper thing, I removed my phone, again calmly but with a large portion of the surreal to phone the police and he came round, he looked me straight in the eyes, snarled "f*cker" and proceeded to get up and run like I have never seen anyone run before, I did phone the police with a detailed description but assume that the only thing that would ever come of this would be me in court for GBH (cynical I know but probably true), maybe next time (hopefully there will not be one) I will act on human intinct and give the f*cker the kicking of their life, anyway, to give this tale an Americana ending the moral is, look after your keys or you might find a taste for the ultra-violent!!! P.S the blinds I bought look great! *******, they pave the way for £2000+ insurance, I missed a great chance at revenge today, I hope you could all show such restrain...........

R.B.5

I would have done exactly the same thing. Well done for just the "one punch". Showed that you can control the anger you have. Luck call though really wasn't it. Imagine if you had got there later not realising that you had lost your car keys. Doesn't bare thinking about does it!!

Be careful where you put your beloved motor and the keys to it would be the moral of this story me thinks.

Glad your car is safe and you didnt let rip on the scum of the world.

IwantAscoob

I put myself in your position while reading that, and think i would have done pretty much the same, but instead of "i think you have my car keys", i would have said, right Cu*t, give me my F**king keys you F**king C**T, then again i do come from tottenham .

Bet he thorght he'd struck it well lucky a ?.

scumbags they are

[Edited by IwantAscoob - 3/13/2003 11:51:13 PM]

Tino

Had a though (retrospect is wonderful!)Should this happen to anyone it might be an idea to let all your tyres down.This will hopefully prevent theft and give you time to sort out options.
Worth a try maybe!

Punching the guy in the face no doubt more satisfying though!

[Edited by Tino - 3/13/2003 11:56:28 PM]

SiDHEaD

shoulda reversed over his legs while he was out.

I spose one good thing if this happens to me, i will get a phonecall checking if its me in the car. If not police on there way. (then of course the car will get written off in a chase, but nm)

Andy

SiDHEaD

Good idea bout the tyres Tino.! or get some1 friendly (cops?) to block it in.

Andy

trugoy

that's the point though, I'm a Bolton lad brought up on the fight and all that but at heart it ain't me, when the scoobs at stake though the fight kicks in and the c*nt got it but why do we have have to put up with this ****, lets get a vigilante group set up, I'm converted to A Clockwork Orange (pre-treatment) thought system, any takers?

IwantAscoob

i dont like violence at all, and if there is anyway i could avoid trouble "as in having a polite chat and walking away" id always choose that option, but in your case, I spose that was a bit hard seeing as he told you your car was he's, so he was obviosly being silly, but sad to say these kind of scumbags are all over the place .

but you still got your scoob, and no one got killed, thats the good thing

Mr.M

You should have kicked the sh*t so hard in his knackers that he would have need an operation!

trugoy

Mr M, retrospect now seems like a luxury, if placed in this situation again I fell fairly sure I would take a pacifist holiday and use 'our friends' peaceful conscious holiday to his expense but as I said, at the time the whole thing was rather surreal, I believe he got off lightly but unusual situatons make you act in odd ways....... Maybe I will opt for the very cool Skater chain connecting my keys to jeans now??????????

LG John

Of the million-odd posts I've read on scoobynet that one made me laugh the most. It's not a laughing matter but your method of delivery of the story cracked me up I can just imagine your face when he said, 'it's my car mate' You opted for a punch next (justified IMO) where I'd have probably side-kicked him halfway across the car park (so his ribs would remind him in coming weeks) but appart from that you handled the situ as best as I think you could. Glad it worked out well in the end

SimonGT

Nice Job mate!!!!!!

Simon
Impreza GT MY00
Iceland

scooby_si

Cant u ask 4 the security video from the car park, i'm sure we'd all b willing 2 chip in 2 c such good footage All 4 erm comic relief or sumin
Is a pretty damn nasty situation m8 but glad it all turned out 4 the best (in a bad situation ) & with such a result it can b viewed with humour, at least from our parts with the way u worded it
Quality chap
Whos doing the black eye in blah blah was it you section? lol
Si

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Like it Like it, glad you and your Scoob are safe
Cheers
Colin

P20SPD

iTrader: (1)

A word of advice, dont go back there for a long while. They hold grudges, if you see what i am saying.

Suprisingley, they have friends.

I certainly would not hvae shown such restraint. Dont think i would have said anything, would have just been "crack". Then when he woke up, "crack" again, repeating until the police arrived.

Steven

Brun

I agree with Steven totally. Find new shop cos next time you might meet his big brother.
Fantastic effort though.
I'm embarrased to say that i put the fear of god into my bird when she supplied a *** burn or three to my rear seat, so god knows what i'd do to a ******. I am admittedly a pip-squeek, but i can't half bite knees hard

Andy Porter

Did you go in and buy blinds after all this
I would of got my motor 'outa there.....

brett555

.... well done ......... damn , i have a friend who works at ikea , maybe we can get the security vid and post it here for everyone to take note from.

After hitting him you should have said <Mr T mode> I pity the fool who tries to steal my car , i pity the fool <Mr T mode off>

Close call ...

edited , this is why i am getting blackjax on my subaru when i get it at the end of this month , the list of security measures i am taking.

brett

[Edited by brett555 - 3/14/2003 9:14:50 AM]

NDT

excellent!

good job you didn't beat the **** out of him...

he goes to the police, then they get your reg number from the security video as you drive out....
next thing you're up for GBH and ******'s suing you for damages...

Dream Weaver

What a sh1tter, but very well written though, nice writing style.

I always wonder what I would do in this situation, but I think the animal instinct takes over.

You have to wonder what sort of lives these scum live. It would never cross my mind if I found some Subaru keys to go for a spin, well it could cross your mind but you wouldn't do it. Then to have so much cheek when rumbled.

Glad you hit him.

tinvek

whats scarey is if youd lost your car and it had been found damaged witht he keys in the ignition - would the insurance have paid out or would they have claimed that you forgot to lock the car ?

Mojo

Good work fella!
I'm not sure I would have been able to stop once I started.
Do you have extra security on the car, discloc etc?
Because I always kept the car keys and discloc keys separate. I figured that if I lost the car keys they still wouldn't be able to drive it away easily. Also if someone demands your keys before you get in the car you can hand them over and raise the alarm before they realise that they can't drive the thing away.

Mojo

Peter_Raf_GT4

Whats scary is that you drop your keys in what was obviously a pretty crowded shop. Now i'd have thought that 99.9% of the people in that shop would have handed them in. I know I would and all the people I know would have as well. But you have the bad luck to have a **** find them and attempt to steal your car. So, was it bad luck this guy got hold of your keys, or is my 99.9% honest figure way out now?

Glad you got your car back, and well done for the knockout punch.

co55ie

Excellent stuff. Should have given him a proper pasting.

Another goodway to stop your car getting nicked whilst on holiday is to remove two of the wheels and leave the car on axle stands you can leave the wheels in your house but just hide the wheel nuts/bolts well and truly. Much more of a detterant than any alarm or security prouct.

danny-boy

Superb! I was pissing myself reading this!

Great read, and its always nice to read about a Scooby owner getting 1 up, rather the reading about another Scooby getting nicked.

You did the right thing, you only needed one punch, he was probably cacking it on the floor, waiting for the boot to go in.

Good One.

Cheers

DB

SU3ARU

trugoy

Glad you didn't lose the car and also would like to see video footage! Agree that the likelihood of you losing your keys and some little toerag finding them is remote - just bad luck.

The moral of the story.........never go to IKEA......full stop

That is the perfect excuse to avoid having to go....oh and the fact that the seats in my STi8 don't go down so can't fit in any large flat packed furniture.

Peter

PS - did you finish your meat *****?

[Edited by SU3ARU - 3/14/2003 1:15:08 PM]

Floyd

iTrader: (9)

Oi, I think you broke my nose It really was my car, yours was in another row and it's still there.

F
PS Seriously though, I felt real anger towards the ****** just reading the post - I think I need help!

ScoobyDoo555

LMAO!!!!

Great to see a story with a positive ending (for all!!)

I like to think that I'd have done the same, but self-control isn't really me when I lose it, I really lose it

Shame you'll have some bruised knuckles for a while.....

Well done that man

We should have a "Michael Douglas - Falling Down" award. You would win hands down!!!

Dan

speedking

It annoys me that car manufacturer's sing about their high security and then (not just Subaru) mould their name into the key making it far easier to identify the vehicle in a car park. Have thought about taking a soldering iron to mine, but that would probably knacker the immobiliser circuitry inside

@SiDHEaD: if someone using the keys takes your car you will get a phonecall? What security sytem is that?

@co55ie, but carrying two alloys around IKEA, you get some funny looks

Pudge

Top Effort that Man!!

Shame the little ****** woke up. Should have chased him down and left a lovely tyre imprint across his rotten chest.

Pudge