Let me tell you a true story.

As part of his redundancy package last year, my old man inherited his 02 plate 1.9 dci Laguna company car.

Now the turbo on this thing has been whistling much louder than normal for a few days, so yesterday he took it to "A Renault Dealership" (to remain nameless for legal reasons) where he was advised that the turbo was fine, probably just a blade a few thou out of line.

The mechanic said there was nothing to worry about as there was nothing untoward coming out in the exhaust when he'd taken it for a test drive.

"If it gets any louder, or you see smoke, just bring it in".

"OK", we said, "so there's nothing to worry about then?"

"No".

Well about an hour and a half ago on the way to Bollington, all of a sudden there is a horrific grinding noise for about 5 seconds. My dad slams the brakes on and comes to a halt, but the noise had stopped. We then debated if we should call the AA but seeing as the noise had stopped and the engine was running fine, we would turn for home just in case.

Halfway back, the nice lady who lives under the bonnet announces there is a fault with the fuel injection system and to report it to a Renault dealer. Engine is still fine but starting to struggle a bit up hills.

Two minutes from home and we approach the Kings Arms Roundabout in Wilmslow. Dad goes to put it into second but as he dips the clutch, the engine starts racing at full chat. We tried pressing the "race car" style on/off button but nothing cos once diesels are going off on one, they don't stop! . In the meantime, all the smoke the mechanic was talking about is billowing profusely out the back.

For some strange reason the roundabout is unusually busy, so my dad has to pull out in front of some old biddy and get the bloody thing off the roundabout. She was not impressed but I don't think she understood the urgency of the situation.

Fortunately there is a bus stop just 20 yards off the roundabout which we pull into. Dad engages sixth gear and dumps the clutch. Fortunately it stalls and shuts down.

Panic over.

So we get out to inspect the damage. The entire roundabout (which is LARGE) is now completely, and I mean completely hidden by the mahoosive cloud of white smoke from the dying Laguna

Called my bro to tow us the mile home to save the AA coming out to us. Dad was a bit shaken up though. He's ok now but just a bit pi*sed off as the warranty has expired and he will have to foot the bill himself. This car has already had an intercooler, a gearbox and loads of other niggles.

I reckon he should get rid and buy a Legacy instead!!

Anyway, sorry to bore you all. Congratulations if you managed to read all the way to the end without falling asleep. I just wanted to vent.

Thanks,
Paul.

 

what did it say at the end i fell asleep

 

shoulda took the money instead of the laguna

 

Reminds me of the time in an old works 150 van, when we used to fill the oil up ourselves. Not having a clue about what to do, I put oil in until I could see it come to just under the top of the filler spout!
Van was as smooth as butter out of Carpet World industrial estate in Hazel Grove, under the bridge towards Macc, first right onto the next road, stopped in the middle waiting for traffic and looked behind to see the same smoke as your dad! wtf!
Drove down the road a ways, stopped the van, but the engine didn't, and now its beginning to rev! and rev, and rev! got out, got back in, turned off the ignition, turned it back on again! nothing, and by now the van is revving upto around 10k!
thought the whole thing was going to go BANG!
then had a brainwave, got in, again, into gear, dumped the clutch and stalled!
phew!
Left it a while, as the smoke cleared, tentataviley started it up again, all seemed ok, no smoke for now anyway. Drove off and completed my collection
Sorted

 

LOL Chris. Funny how the brain stops working for a bit when in a panic.

And we had to take the Laguna as part of the deal unfortunately, as there was nothing much else of merit put on the table. The company were real arseh*les bearing in mind he's worked there for 40 years and was only 2 years from retirement.

But apart from this little set back tonight, things are looking up for my dad, as he has set up a consultancy business with 2 of his former colleagues and business is currently good.

 

Good read guys, my first car was an old nova and i remember starting it up outside college one winters day, i think the automatic choke kinda stuck and it just reved so bad i thought it was gonna blow, everyone was looking and staring, muttering things like look at that dick revving the nads of his car what a plonker, but there was nothing i could apart from look embarresed, i never knew a nova could rev to 15,000 rpm without becoming a wepon of mass destruction

 

And off to the correct forum with this we gooooooooooooooooooooo

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

Why, It's a northern thing

Shame about the car Paul, what's happening with it?

 

Why you dont want to add that to your collection do you

 

No thanks, I've enough cars off the road

 

Bloody renaults, so its surrendered, how typically french.

Paul, what sort of consultancy does your dad do?

 

Although that was a bit of a sad story, you kept me amused with your funny interpretation

 

I only had one renault, and it did a clutch in 7000 miles, then the dealer left some sort of tool in the engine (possibly the mechanic), and it had to go back in again to replace all the bits it broke.