My Chinese neighbour...
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08 December 2013, 10:27 PM
#8
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08 December 2013, 10:47 PM
#9
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A refuse collector is driving along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor.
He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck, goes to the front door and knocks. There's no answer.
Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.
Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door.
"Harro!" says the Chinese man.
"Hello sir! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector.
"I bin on toiret" explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed.
Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.
"No! No! Mate, where's your dust bin?"
"I dust been to toiret, I toll you!" says the Chinese man, still perplexed.
"Listen," says the collector. "You're misunderstanding me. Where's your wheelie bin?"
"OK, OK" replies the Chinese man with a sheepish grin. He then whispers in the collector's ear.
"I wheelie bin having a ****"
He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck, goes to the front door and knocks. There's no answer.
Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.
Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door.
"Harro!" says the Chinese man.
"Hello sir! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector.
"I bin on toiret" explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed.
Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.
"No! No! Mate, where's your dust bin?"
"I dust been to toiret, I toll you!" says the Chinese man, still perplexed.
"Listen," says the collector. "You're misunderstanding me. Where's your wheelie bin?"
"OK, OK" replies the Chinese man with a sheepish grin. He then whispers in the collector's ear.
"I wheelie bin having a ****"
09 December 2013, 07:02 AM
#12
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A Chinese lady goes to exchange some of her currency for £.
When the teller hands over the £ the lady gets irate
'' last week I got more £'' she says
''sorry madam but that's the rate today'' says the teller
She doesn't understand and starts to shout and accuse the teller.
''last week I got £50 more, you robbing me'' she says
''madam, it's how currency works, fluctuations you see?'' says the teller
''Fluctuations? Fluctuations??. Fluck you white people!!""
When the teller hands over the £ the lady gets irate
'' last week I got more £'' she says
''sorry madam but that's the rate today'' says the teller
She doesn't understand and starts to shout and accuse the teller.
''last week I got £50 more, you robbing me'' she says
''madam, it's how currency works, fluctuations you see?'' says the teller
''Fluctuations? Fluctuations??. Fluck you white people!!""
09 December 2013, 10:08 AM
#13
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A Chinese couple are in bed having a kiss & a cuddle.
The husband says: 'Oooh darling I really fancy a 69.'
She says: 'If you think I am going to get up and cook at this time of night you can f*ck off!!'
The husband says: 'Oooh darling I really fancy a 69.'
She says: 'If you think I am going to get up and cook at this time of night you can f*ck off!!'
09 December 2013, 09:36 PM
#19
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Jesus Christ, lighten up Spock. Not everything has to be logical.
09 December 2013, 10:34 PM
#21
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How would a Chinese person say squirrel?
SJ.
10 December 2013, 08:11 AM
#25
My Chinese friend said to me "How wawawee" i said what? How wawawe,How wawawe ...... she said. In the end we had to leave it alone as i just didnt know what she was asking about.
Two months later i found she was asking about our accountant "Valerie"
(its true)
Two months later i found she was asking about our accountant "Valerie"
(its true)
10 December 2013, 07:15 PM
#26
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I get that, but TBH you won't know what they say behind your back, or even at your face in their language, anyway. I bet when some of you walk into their Takeaway and order Chow Mein, the Chinese counter minder says in Chinese to his/her cook- "Just re-fry that left-over Chow Mien from my last night's dinner in dog fat, and I'll charge this white fatty a fiver for it.".
10 December 2013, 07:38 PM
#27
I get that, but TBH you won't know what they say behind your back, or even at your face in their language, anyway. I bet when some of you walk into their Takeaway and order Chow Mein, the Chinese counter minder says in Chinese to his/her cook- "Just re-fry that left-over Chow Mien from my last night's dinner in dog fat, and I'll charge this white fatty a fiver for it.".
as Monty Python said though,I always try to look on the bright side of life.If I thought negative about people,that sweet and sour king prawn that I love so much would be a distant memory.SJ.
SJ.