My nuts were electrocuted today
#1
My nuts were electrocuted today
This has firmly cemented my thoughts on farming being the UK’s most dangerous job (joint with fishing).
On our family farm, we have free range chickens for egg production. We have a flock of fairly young birds who aren’t all that bright when it comes to roaming the land and knowing where the boundaries are, although as a general rule, chickens are pretty stupid animals anyway. As a result of this, the more “technical” areas of land is fenced off with orange netting because otherwise the chickens will roam down the land and won’t find their way back to the poultry shed when the sun sets, effectively getting trapped.
When I erect the orange netting prior to a new flock of birds, I do my best to make sure it is secure and staked down into the ground. Occasionally a chicken will manage to crawl under the orange netting, or on even rarer occasions, fly over. I have never had any trouble before with climbing over in the fenced off land, catching the escapee, and flinging it back over in a slightly satisfying way, but today was different.
Now, there are two ways of getting into the fenced off area of land; through the main gate with electric wire running above, or along the pathway and over a metal fence also with electric wire running above, (you’re probably wondering why there’s so much electric wire... well it’s because all our farm land is fox proof electric fenced, but we also run it over the top of pathway fences and gates to stop chickens from attempting to jump over). As I was already walking down the pathway to get into a farm building, I decided to hop over the metal fence in order to catch the escapee chicken which had managed to get into the fenced off area of land.
I have done this loads of times before, but what I stupidly failed to remember was to turn off the separate electric wire running down the top of the metal fence (there’s a red handle nearby where you disengage the contacts which breaks the current). The current of the electric fence is 7,000 volts and pulses through the steel high tensile wire, and I’ve been shocked a couple times on my hand and arm. My father has also been shocked, but on the bloody head. He describe it to me and said it was like being hit on the noggin’ by a hammer almost knocking him out. His friend has also been shocked on the head while ducking under a gate and it made him fall to the floor. I’ve seen chickens shocked by the fence and they run off limping and squawking like there’s no tomorrow.
I think you can see where this is going.... anyway, I plant both hands on top of the electric wire thinking absolutely nothing of it, bounce off one foot, and lift a leg over the fence. At this point I can see the b@stard of a chicken clucking away in the field while I’m stradling the fence with my crown jewels now touching the top wire. At this moment, bang, “AARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFFFCCCCCCCUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!” Words can’t describe it..... In fact, I’m pretty sure the next farmer over the fields could probably have heard my cry. I toppled over the fence and fell into the field curled up in a ball, tears in my eyes, looking more helpless than a fish in the desert. Obviously I’ve never experienced giving birth, and I also haven’t experienced passing kidney stones, but I’m bloody damn sure it could rival the pain. Why the hell couldn’t it have shocked my hands instead? It must have been seriously bad timing . After a couple minutes of clenching my nuts making sure they were still attached, I managed to stand up and proceeded to inspect my manhood. Thankfully everything seemed to look okay and I hope that it’ll be functioning properly with little worries. Also I did manage to eventually put the chicken back over the fence.
To help visualise the area, here's a picture I took on my phone (the area on the left is where I trying to go)
On our family farm, we have free range chickens for egg production. We have a flock of fairly young birds who aren’t all that bright when it comes to roaming the land and knowing where the boundaries are, although as a general rule, chickens are pretty stupid animals anyway. As a result of this, the more “technical” areas of land is fenced off with orange netting because otherwise the chickens will roam down the land and won’t find their way back to the poultry shed when the sun sets, effectively getting trapped.
When I erect the orange netting prior to a new flock of birds, I do my best to make sure it is secure and staked down into the ground. Occasionally a chicken will manage to crawl under the orange netting, or on even rarer occasions, fly over. I have never had any trouble before with climbing over in the fenced off land, catching the escapee, and flinging it back over in a slightly satisfying way, but today was different.
Now, there are two ways of getting into the fenced off area of land; through the main gate with electric wire running above, or along the pathway and over a metal fence also with electric wire running above, (you’re probably wondering why there’s so much electric wire... well it’s because all our farm land is fox proof electric fenced, but we also run it over the top of pathway fences and gates to stop chickens from attempting to jump over). As I was already walking down the pathway to get into a farm building, I decided to hop over the metal fence in order to catch the escapee chicken which had managed to get into the fenced off area of land.
I have done this loads of times before, but what I stupidly failed to remember was to turn off the separate electric wire running down the top of the metal fence (there’s a red handle nearby where you disengage the contacts which breaks the current). The current of the electric fence is 7,000 volts and pulses through the steel high tensile wire, and I’ve been shocked a couple times on my hand and arm. My father has also been shocked, but on the bloody head. He describe it to me and said it was like being hit on the noggin’ by a hammer almost knocking him out. His friend has also been shocked on the head while ducking under a gate and it made him fall to the floor. I’ve seen chickens shocked by the fence and they run off limping and squawking like there’s no tomorrow.
I think you can see where this is going.... anyway, I plant both hands on top of the electric wire thinking absolutely nothing of it, bounce off one foot, and lift a leg over the fence. At this point I can see the b@stard of a chicken clucking away in the field while I’m stradling the fence with my crown jewels now touching the top wire. At this moment, bang, “AARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFFFCCCCCCCUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!” Words can’t describe it..... In fact, I’m pretty sure the next farmer over the fields could probably have heard my cry. I toppled over the fence and fell into the field curled up in a ball, tears in my eyes, looking more helpless than a fish in the desert. Obviously I’ve never experienced giving birth, and I also haven’t experienced passing kidney stones, but I’m bloody damn sure it could rival the pain. Why the hell couldn’t it have shocked my hands instead? It must have been seriously bad timing . After a couple minutes of clenching my nuts making sure they were still attached, I managed to stand up and proceeded to inspect my manhood. Thankfully everything seemed to look okay and I hope that it’ll be functioning properly with little worries. Also I did manage to eventually put the chicken back over the fence.
To help visualise the area, here's a picture I took on my phone (the area on the left is where I trying to go)
Last edited by LSherratt; 14 May 2013 at 06:09 PM.
#3
I can see the b@stard of a chicken clucking away in the field while I’m stradling the fence with my crown jewels now touching the top wire. At this moment, bang, “AARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFFFCCCCCCCUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!” Words can’t describe it..... In fact, I’m pretty sure the next farmer over the fields could probably have heard my cry.
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Get her to massage Greek yogurt on the affected area, then get her to lick it off, should be a good test for you.
Last edited by Oldun; 15 May 2013 at 08:25 AM.
#13
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I'd hate that.
I remember silage time as a kid on the family farm.
Several of us used to play football with the goalie standing on top of the freshly dumped grass.
Anyway, one time the keeper made a really good save, punting the ball over a nearby fence.
I remember running like hell towards said fence, putting my left hand on top to fly over and similar experience.
Fecking fell in a heap after getting this shooting pain from the electric fence up through my arm.
I remember silage time as a kid on the family farm.
Several of us used to play football with the goalie standing on top of the freshly dumped grass.
Anyway, one time the keeper made a really good save, punting the ball over a nearby fence.
I remember running like hell towards said fence, putting my left hand on top to fly over and similar experience.
Fecking fell in a heap after getting this shooting pain from the electric fence up through my arm.
Last edited by urban; 15 May 2013 at 02:08 PM.
#16
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And not just a normal regular job, but populated with a higher than average proportion of muppets
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We have a similar sort of fence around the perimeter of the estate and my younger sister was once swinging on a metal gate and swung into the fence head first by mistake. Next thing she knew she was off the gate and on the floor about 2m from the gate crying and asking why I'd punched her in the head?!! So I can only imagine how painful it would have been on the old gentleman parts!
I couldn't help but laugh at her though!
I couldn't help but laugh at her though!
#24
Nah well it could be dangerous if you're not careful and rush certain jobs... I operate a lot of machinery and have to climb up 70ft high grain silos, then crawl along the open tops of them. They're most risky things I do anyway; I'm sure there's a lot jobs that are dangerous, but generally speaking as a whole, farming is one of them.