jonc

Question: Is it possible for a heterosexual man and woman to be "just friends"? Is it possible to have a completely platonic non-romantic relationship assuming that either are attractive looking?

Dr Hu

Nope - Ladder Theory gets in the way.... http://www.laddertheory.com

Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.

mrtheedge2u2

It is possible but for a lot of partners, impossible to accept.

DYK

NO

jonc

..and if the man is in a happy healthy marriage with kids?

Butkus

It is possible but only in the sense that the man hasn't been given the green light for sex, has been told sex isn't going to happen, or he is too scared to try and find out if he can have sex with the woman. So he just ends up going along on the friendship dip.

I have quite a few female friends, and nothing sexual has happened with (m)any of them. However, if it was offered I would have sex with all of them. It's hard being a man isn't it?

I remember reading an article about this very subject actually. In it they gave you a scenario and asked what you would do in this situation. Basically, you were alone with your female friend. At some point she leaves the room (presumably to go to the bathroom) and returns a few minutes later with no clothes on - the article then asks what you would do next. Honestly, most men would go for it - it is just the way we're programmed.

Butkus

He just fantasises about his female friends.

Saxo Boy

All women need to read and understand this ^^^^.

That is the difference: most men have plenty of female friends that they don't hit on or make any advances on. However, put a no-string **** on the table and 99% of the time we'll want to take it on.

To explain the word, 'want': I am happily married so I'd ultimately turn down a female friend that made such an advance. However, don't think for a moment I'd be turning it down because I didn't want to put her doors in.

In all of the above we are assuming the female is attractive. Ugly need not apply.

Wurzel

iTrader: (1)

Yes it is, one of my best mates is a girl and there is nothing going on between us. There was in the past but now we are just mates and I see her regularly.

tubbytommy

iTrader: (20)

man up and slip her one.

Saxo Boy

So if you were single and she was begging you to hang out the back of her just once, no strings, you'd say no?

Same question 5 pints deep.

Same question 10 pints deep.

Same question she already has her chuff out when she asks.

Leslie

Of course its possible.

Les

Lydia72

I am mates with my fella's friends so the idea of them imagining having sex with me is really icky!

I think the problem is that 'just good friends' can very easily cross over into an emotional affair. So nothing physical happens (at first anyway) but if they are spending more time thinking about their friend then they are their spouse it can be the start of a slippery slope.
I would be happy for MrL to look at any of my emails/ texts/ internet posts etc to any of my male friends. If you are talking to your 'friend' and saying something or acting in a way you wouldn't want your spouse to hear or see then there is an issue IMO.

I never used to be so cynical but almost all affairs I know of have started out as 'just friends'
The excuse then is that they had an amazing connection and couldn't help it blah blah blah so instead of taking responsibility for their own actions they are talking as if it was something that happened to them rather than a deliberate choice they made.

Wurzel

iTrader: (1)

Of course I would, given the green light I would nail all of them every which way from wednesday. But as Butkus already pointed out unless you are given the green light to even try then yes you are just friends.

But after 10 pints I would not be capable of anything except trying to stay alive

Lydia72

Does the spouse know about the friend?

And, how old are the kids?

Saxo Boy

I find women funny; they are so clueless.

Whatever you do, never read The Game.

I don't even know you, don't know what you look like, don't know how old your are and I'm already imagining having sex with you. This is how we roll

Lydia72

I'm a hairy twenty-stone trucker if that helps

Saxo Boy

Oh baby, keep going...

Wurzel

iTrader: (1)

Yeah but you are still female

Lydia72

I feel unclean now...

Moz_Rb5

iTrader: (2)

so it's already happened

Moz_Rb5

iTrader: (2)

Nope, there will always come that moment, if it hasn't happened to people on here yet then make sure your c*cks always clean for when your "friend" drops to her knees

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

Translation= i have often fantasised about them all individually and all together.

fitzscoob

After 10 pints there is potential of trying to "shoot pool with a length of rope"

CrisPDuk

I have several purely platonic female friends



For most though, my answers to the Saxo Boy's questions are still No, Yes, Yes, and Yes

DYK

Imagining the sound of her voice talking in a flirty seductive manner.Phwoarrrr

stevebt

iTrader: (8)

If she is really fat, ginger and ugly I would say it definately possible to stay friends

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

I don't think I know any nice (non family related) females that I haven't thought about. So I'd say no.

Jamz3k

I used to have loads of women friends that I enjoyed just hanging out with and having a drink, some were very attractive others weren't. I lost contact with them all very early in my relationship with ex-missus due to her insecurities as it just wasn't worth the hassle.

Ellie*

Exactly this, except obviously my mate is male.

What's even better is I've found a really good friend in his girlfriend, so if we meet up its usually the 3 of us.

Before they were official (she was married) and my mate had more free time, we'd go out or stay in and get pissed and I've ended up crashing at his, and him at mine, and we shared beds and nothing at all happened.
That was a bit difficult for his girlfriend when he told her, but that was early on and she hadn't met me then.

Its all cool though.

I've known him 10years but there's been periods when I haven't seen him because of jealous boyfriends :-(