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Should parents spy on their children's emails and texts?

Old Jan 22, 2013 | 03:41 PM
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Question Should parents spy on their children's emails and texts?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technolog...and-texts.html
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 03:42 PM
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Yes.
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 03:50 PM
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Yes! If I hadn't checked my sons mail I would never have found out he was being beaten and bullied at school by twin brothers. He was ten at the time. At what age one should stop checking I don't know.
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted by magepaster
Yes! If I hadn't checked my sons mail I would never have found out he was being beaten and bullied at school by twin brothers. He was ten at the time. At what age one should stop checking I don't know.
This is one of my fears. Although I've drilled in to my kids that they must let me or the wife know if anybody bullies or attempts to bully them. As to what age should one stop, there's a dilemma. We never stop being parents and caring. I think once out of Secondary school kids can be given a little more freedom.
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 04:02 PM
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I can't see what's wrong with keeping an eye on them until they are 18 or leave home whatever happens first.
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 04:24 PM
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Until they're 18, i.e. adults, if you have reasonable suspicion / reason to do so then I don't see why not.

If you teach your kids right from wrong, morals, and encourage them to be open with you about stuff that is worrying them then it shouldn't be an issue anyway.

That said if like some of my younger cousins you live your entire life through Facebook then there's not much you don't know about anyway and a lot of stuff you don't want to know about
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 04:34 PM
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Yes parents should feel free to check their kids phone logs, as long as the kids are made aware beforehand then I don't see the problem. I don't think they should be covertly spied on though, think it sends the wrong message that their parents can't be trusted.
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 04:41 PM
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Yes, as parents it's our duty to protect our children from the evils of the world outside your home, wether they like it or not, so yes my 5yr old will be checked upon on a regular basis, and iv'e already nipped one bulling situation in the bud.
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted by ditchmyster
Yes, as parents it's our duty to protect our children from the evils of the world outside your home, wether they like it or not, so yes my 5yr old will be checked upon on a regular basis, and iv'e already nipped one bulling situation in the bud.
A 5yr old with a mobile phone? are you serious? When is it out of your sight long enough to need a mobile phone and who is it texting anyway?
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 05:31 PM
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Definitely! Luckily my 12 yr old daughter is very honest and i trust her 100%, but she leaves her phone lying about if i feel the need to just check, most of the time to see if shes gone over her usage!! I also have set up an account linked to my email that if she goes on any untoward sites they alert me to this, did this with my 9 yr old son too to find out he searched naked (spelt knacked!) woman on his laptop..he'll be the one to watch.
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Emmaroids
did this with my 9 yr old son too to find out he searched naked (spelt knacked!) woman on his laptop..he'll be the one to watch.
Nice one son
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 07:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Chip
Nice one son
Agreed, you should help him spell!

If I had horrible little **** makers then yes I would defo check.. my only concern would be when they are around 16yrs old...
When I was younger (not much) I was getting rudie pics of girl friends etc..
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 08:10 PM
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I just google imaged "knacked women".

And yes I'd check, but that because I'm nosey.
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 08:22 PM
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Yes, end of. They are a parents responsibility up until 18 and therefore you have a duty of care for their welfare. It's not spying, it's simple monitoring! I would be more horrified of parents not caring and their son/daughter getting misled, groomed or making seriously wrong decisions!
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 11:04 PM
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I dont have a problem with it - I hope to build a relationship with my kids where they will be open and comfortable telling me about what is going on in their lives, but I know well how devious and deceptive I was toward my parent from around 14 and there was no access to mobile phones or the internet back then. I hope to explain to them why they should have no expecation of privacy when they use the internet, whatever it looks like ten years from now. Having worked in IT security for over 20 years, my home network is very secure, where all browsing activity is filtered and logged.
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Old Jan 22, 2013 | 11:56 PM
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Entirely up to the parents concerned IMO.
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Old Jan 23, 2013 | 08:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Wurzel
A 5yr old with a mobile phone? are you serious? When is it out of your sight long enough to need a mobile phone and who is it texting anyway?
Please show me where i said he has a mobile phone.

I said WILL BE checked upon as and when.
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Old Jan 23, 2013 | 08:13 AM
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As a parent you are responsible for your child, their saftey etc etc so yes make sure they are safe by checking emails/phone/social networking etc.
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Old Jan 23, 2013 | 08:52 AM
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Yes.
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Old Jan 23, 2013 | 09:00 AM
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Yes
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Old Jan 23, 2013 | 10:34 AM
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I don't agree with the word "spy", but yes. My wife and I had a very similar converstaion about our daughter, and when she reaches the age that she wants a mobile phone etc.

We agreed that the best way to go about it would be an agreement that if she has any mobiles or facebook accounts etc, then the passwords are to be made available to us, and she will be fully aware that we can and will check whenever we see fit.

To spy is being deceptive and that's not a behaviour I want to encourage in my house from anyone, parents included.
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Old Jan 23, 2013 | 01:57 PM
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I use a product called Cyber Patrol helped me. cuts out words, send me an email if my son rights naughty words.

but in answer to your question Too Right, Kids nowadays bottle things up, and even though you say talk to me they don't. Your looking out for them.

Facebook is nearing banned in my house just because of 14 years olds posting total crap and my sons gets it all in his list.

don't need it
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Old Jan 23, 2013 | 03:17 PM
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Since as a parent you are responsible for bringing your children up as decent members of society, I think you should ensure as far as possible that you know what they are getting up to.

Les
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