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10 November 2012, 12:48 AM

SLAB

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I was getting a hand-job off my new girlfriend when I asked, "How are you so good at this?""Years of practice," she said."Bit of a player in your day?" I laughed."No," she replied, "my dad had no arms."

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10 November 2012, 07:06 AM

Aaron1978

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I was about to put my hand down her knickers when she said, "You must think I'm a right dirty slapper."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you've put condoms on your fingers."