StickyMicky

It is very rare i have to visit the hospital, in fact i think the last time was as a child when i had something in my eye, so most of this may have missed me in the past, but i observed a few things yesterday.

1. I hate the places, 45 min waiting time turned into 3.5 hours for some reason.
2. Its full of people i don't want to be anywhere near.
3. its full of people who try to show off how bad various injuries are in the waiting room.
4. Its full to the brim of massively obese people who cant breath for **** and keep falling down, for no other reason than they are obese.
5. Its full of people who like to brag how strong the medication is.
6. Its full of people who bring the entire family to A&E including all crying kids, just to support daddies cut finger.
7. Its full of ********* playing with mobile phones.
8. Its full of ********* who never use the hand gel, even though your told to use it.
9. Its full of crying kids = aaarrrghhhh.
10. Car parking charges are still a rip off when you don't know how long your onsite.


"ohh i have morphine tablets me for the pain!" said one bloke who looked about 30 stone, he sat down on the bench and nearly fired this small child off the other end, this would have been a bonus as the little **** was crying and winding me up i`m pretty sure the child lifted off the bench as i was sitting trying to blok out all these disgusting people from my mind, i kind of got dragged into the conversation anyway, so i asked him what was wrong?

"dislocated shoulder, the pain is immense, i need morphine" "how did you do it?" i asked....

"i need walking sticks to walk, and i fell over, ohh i have had cat scans and everything" (see point above on bragging) ffs! "what's up with you youngun? he asked "same, dislocated shoulder, fell of a bike at speed, ive only had some co-codomol" this shut the bloke up a treat

The only other normal ish person in that waiting room was a bloke who had chopped half his finger off at work.

Some other snippets of waiting room banter

"Ohh i have been in all the local hospitals, the hexham one is decent" - I DONT CARE!!!!

"As long as it does not affect my drinking im ok" - WTF ?

"They are all proper dipstick doctors in here, they dont know what they are doing" - THEN **** OFF AND LET MY WAITING TIME DROP A LITTLE BIT.



Its enough of a deterrent to stop normal folk even going to hospital

Chip

That is funny but unfortuntely true as well.

Chip

tony de wonderful

Doctors creep me out I have decided.

JPL

You forgot the smell, and the fact that half of the patients sit outside all day smoking **** RIGHT BY THE F*CKING ENTRANCE DOOR !!

tony de wonderful

How do these massively obese people earn an income? You always see them at Tesco pushing fully loaded trollies and looking exhausted.

CREWJ

I want to find this thread hilarious but it's so sad because it's all true.

The Zohan

walking past the maternity department at my local you see heavily pregnant mothers stood outside smoking - it boils my p*ss, with what is know about the effects of smoking on unborn babies you would think that they could give up or at least stop until the child is born or they stop breast feeding - shows the sort of people who are becoming parents, no thought or consideration for their kids even before they are born! still the state will pay for the kids and school educate them so just let the benefits roll on in!

echo Mickeys comments about A&E!

JDM_Stig

iTrader: (3)

I find them full of plonkers who fall of push bikes lol

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Me going to A&E is like getting Mr T into a airplane

You'll have to knock me out first.

davyboy

There should be 2 doors.

One for the poor, and another for those that pay for private health care.

Leslie

Benefits I imagine!

Les

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

"Its full of ********* playing with mobile phones."

that's the best way to aviod conversation ..

markb_s1

I use a different technique to bypass A&E.

If you have a minor injuries unit near you then go there.. usually faaar less busy, and therefore far shorter waiting time/less obese/fallen over/screaming/bragging (etc etc) people, plus, if they feel that your injury needs treating in A&E they'll send you there in an ambulance so you get straight in with none of the waiting. If not, they'll treat you and send you home.

StickyMicky

My A&E makes you wait until your called into the minor or major section, and i`m pretty sure that i was in the waiting area closest to the minor section, because if it was major i am assuming i would have been rushed straight in, so i assume all these people were classes as minor, even the bloke with the chopped thumb who had blood all over, was rushed straight in, quickly patched up, then sent back out to sit with the minor folk, while his patchup bandage still oozed blood next to me.

Urrrghhh.

Nato

God bless the NHS then! To be fair, I have a lot to thank the NHS for, as the staff on the Special Care Baby Unit saved my daughters life when she was born the best part of 3 months early, and twice more when she was in. For the most part though, our experience of hospitals has been not great. My wife has been and out for a few things over the last few years, and each time we've been kept waiting/fobbed off/messed about etc. I thank god I'm reasonably fit and strong, and don't have to utilise the NHS very often.

StickyMicky

Not sure tbh, but seriously, i am not a waif figure by a loooong shot, but apart from Mr Chopped thumb, i was the thinnest creature in that waiting area, bar the screaming kids, and one single woman shaped object that looked anorexic, Mr Chopped thumb commented that he did not know you could buy jeans that thin and she needed some cake

Jonny_

Minor injuries unit is not the same as minor/majors at A&E ..

myblackwrx

iTrader: (1)

My most recent visit to A&E involved my ***** and a lot of blood so was quite amusing to see peoples faces when I'm wandering round holding my crotch a la Michael Jackson

Think it pissed a lot of people off that I got seen to first

StickyMicky

Strange, it had signs that said Minor Injuries or Major injuries and two different doors ?

markb_s1

the 2 minor injuries units near me are totally separate from hospitals.
they're basically separate buildings on their own - one in the middle of a fairly rough estate, and the other in a quiet suburban road.

if they were at the hospital i wouldn't have needed an ambulance to take me there when i tore all the ligaments off the outside of my right foot!

Jonny_

That^^ miu is normally separate from the hospital to deal with the things that don't really need a+e

Luckily ?? For me my last a+e experience I was in resusc alone off my **** on morphine ... Although the two nights I spent on wards were annoying as hell ... People moaning and screaming and wandering around. Doesnt make for a restful stay!

Chip

i think you need to explain yourself on this one

Chip

Well I've just got in from having a barium x-ray. Got seen 5 mins early and the nurses etc were great, as they need to be, as it's something you really don't want to have done.

Was going OK til they decided to up the pressure and expand my intestines until it felt like they were gpoing to burst. Spent an hour walking around after the procedure trying to dislodge the air in so much discomfort it's untrue. Still feel full of air now, Ireckom if you stuck a pin in me I'd fly around the room like a balloon would.

Results in 2 weeks so fingers crossed for me

Chip

GlesgaKiss

Growing up, hospitals always smelled of disinfectant or other cleaning stuff. Now they usually smell of food and are pretty shockingly dirty. Why is this? Supposedly the Tories never take care of the NHS, so why is it that after 13 years of Labour they're this way? The problem can't just be financial then.

From what people have told me, the cleaning (as far as wards are concerned at least) used to be the responsibility of the matron, or at least she made it her responsibility. Now it's the responsibility of a minimum wage immigrant worker who almost certainly doesn't give a sh*t what happens as a result of their poor standards. So now we've got a dirty NHS - relatively speaking - and it's still costing us as much if not more. How do you explain that one!?

Chip

How do we explain that one you ask. Easy.

New Labour!

The Zohan

Best not!

urban

iTrader: (1)

And most likely Asian

myblackwrx

iTrader: (1)

Passed a kidney stone

EddScott

I often find A&E departments have the most miserable looking nurses who shuffle about in crocks with the grace of an ocean going oil tanker and woe betide you if you even dare speak to them without being spoken to first.

I actually fear being ill where I live. A&E waiting is always about 4 hours. I have to be properly dying before I'll even bother going up there.

The wifes folks on the other hand should have f*ckin season tickets to NHS UK and most of the hospitals in the EU. They are off to the local at the drop of a hat.

Chip

As I've passed a few myself you have my total sympathy.

Chip