The_Gza

Slighly disrepectful, but I nearly peed my pants

ROTFLMAO

Some of the more "interesting" excerpts from The Board of Remembrance:

"I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face". L.Ward, Mansfield.
----------------------------------------------------------
"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot imag i ne that I will ever smile for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".
A.Christie,Hendon.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are ****"
J.Clement. Grantham.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
D.Holmes, Somerset.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the Nazisand I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She p1ssed herself later though, it was sickening". B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover". L. J.Worthington,
Penrith.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the dayoff".
S.Wilson, Bristol.
----------------------------------------------------------
"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal family without being accused of being homosexual". J. Fletcher, High
Wycombe.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to experiment with drugs". E. Franks, Cheshire.
----------------------------------------------------------
"On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences". T.Watson,
Ilford.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists". Y. Howell,
Slough.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman
should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her mother?" W.Waugh, Richmond.
----------------------------------------------------------
"It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
K. O'Neil, Inverness.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her public duties". N. Wallace, Swansea.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible event" E. Thompson, West Lothian.
---------------------------------------------------------

"Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel
better" P.McGregor, Southampton.
---------------------------------------------------------
"We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels,
jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk past her coffin". R. Thompson, Bath.
---------------------------------------------------------
"I have been unable to m@sturbate for five days, and will not do so again until her majesty is buried" E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
---------------------------------------------------------
"Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
R. Combes,
Romford.
---------------------------------------------------------
"No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a smile. Just like a retard" G. Hollins, East Sussex.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you know its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of ****'. She was a wondrous person". E.Collier, London.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
G.Williams, West Midlands.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she
perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us in a good way. God bless you ma'am". L. Weller, Harlow.
----------------------------------------------------------
"If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless *******!" J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She had such a difficult life, always battling against adversity and misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round she is given a life of privilege and comfort" T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.

andrew6321

excellent. Please tell me these are all genuine....?

The Zohan

LOL!

joni

Rarely does anything written make me laugh out loud and only once or twice has this turned into tears of laughter.......and now my nose is running
Priceless

The_Gza

My particular favourite is I'm still laughing at this

The Zohan

Without doubt my fav is
"She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover". L. J.Worthington, Penrith.

closley followed by
"I have been unable to m@sturbate for five days, and will not do so again until her majesty is buried" E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
and
"Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists". Y. Howell,
Slough.


What a top post
I must have forwarded it to my usual suspects!