Good people of scoobynet, share your knowledge with me!

I wont bore you with the nitty gritty, but....

A few months before the end of 2010 me and my long term girlfriend/partner split up.

We have a joint mortgage on a house, and a 4 year old daughter.

I moved back to my parents, with the prevision the house got sold, or she bought me out of the 20k deposit i put down. As without this i cant afford to get my own place etc.

We also have an arrangment that i pick up my daughter on a sat afternoon/evening, have her that night and most of sunday. I want to see her more, but the ex feels that i will disturb her school life and routine. So i am happy with how things are at the moment.

So i have been very amicable, no pressure, but obviosuly i want things sorted.

So in the last few days the ex decided that she would move out of the house, sign everything over to me, and i would take it on until its sold (i pay the mortgage on it at the moment anyways). Since SHE decided this is what she wanted to do, she has started to try and stop me seeing my daughter, claiming i am making them homeless etc etc. Generally being a bellend.

I am going to get some legal advice, so i know where i stand. But anyone give me a heads up, any tips or advice etc etc.

I would much rather solve this like grown adults, but as each day passes, that seems almost impossible!!

Many thanks to anyone who replies!

 

I'm osrry I can't offer any advice but I do sometimes wonder how the love of your life can suddenly resport to blatant blackmail once a split up has occured

I remember reading about Swiss Tonys ex wife and how she used his kids against him and Zoe

Good luck anywho fella, get some proper legal eagle info

 

Women are mental when it comes to break ups, they have a very nasty habit of using kids as pawns in some kind of sick game. They seem to believe that they have exclusive right to be around the children and you have my sympathy because this temporary madness can last weeks, months or even years. The only thing I can suggest is asking the question directly wether or not she is going to be one of those sick twisted mothers who ruins her childs life by getting her doughter involved with the arguments of her parents then run away and let it sink in.

 

It's just women in general cob they're crackers .

Good luck with it all , hate these types of situations when the mother can use a child as a bargaining tool

 

It's just women in general cob they're crackers .

Good luck with it all , hate these types of situations when the mother can use a child as a bargaining tool

 

Does she have relatives living out of your area, she might up and leave alot do
You need to try and get a residence order to prevent her from being taken away from her normal routine ie school father grandparents.
Women are very clever and will use children all they can.....also she could pop to court and get a non molestation order and prevent you any contact with her or your daughter and that will involve the courts and along report by cafcass to see if you eligable to see your daughter.

 

cheers guys.

it does pain me that she has turned into this bitter twisted person, especially as SHE ended it!

And she knows how to hurt me, by stopping me seeing my daughter. As said, women seem to think they have 100% control over the children, and us blokes get hung out to dry.

I dont want to be a 'part time' dad to my daughter, hence why it hurts even more.

 

When I split she wanted to buy me out and offered me 20k. Not bad you may think. I said no, I wanted the house sold. She was living in the house,I was living out of a suitcase. We bought the house for 45k and when it sold 4 months later we got nearly 150k for it. ******* cheap house her eh? She gurned about me throwing her out of her home but I made an extra 30k.

They are all ******* money grabbing heartless huers

 

well thats the thing, she claims that if we sold it its worth nothing etc. i disagree!

I am not asking for more than i deserve, just what i put in, which i dont think is unreasonable.

It does open your eyes to what some people are really like tho. 12 years of being together and this is how they treat you. makes you feel like you never knew them in the first place.

And i cant be bothered playing games etc, just want to get on with life!!

 

And they know the legal system/courts usually favour on the mothers side and the father gets the hangman's noose,which encourages them to be complete B1tches by using the kids to hurt/get back at you.It's happened to a mate of mine,had a 250 grand house she wanted his business money from it etc etc.Soo to keep her sweet he bought her a house and just paid for things that the kid needed.Still a bitter pill to swallow but it was better than being dragged through courts etc,he just was able to be in the financial position to keep things sweet,Was a few years back...

 

feel for you but move back in . if she has signed it over to you , you are quids in , she has probably done it to get a council platform pretending to be homeless because of you wanting to sell up , move back in fast and change the locks asap and get it on paper that she wants nothing more to do with the house , as for seeing child expect a long battle if she wants to be funny , like my solicitor said to me . can you afford to take the kids to barbados or disneyland , i replied no . he said then forget getting custody . if you are working you will not get legal aid for visiting rights or custody battles ,

 

I had a similar thing quite a few years ago with my sons Mother, I just signed the house over to her and got on with my life. At the end of the day it was/is my sons home and didn't want this to change.

If I forced a sale then is was quite likely she would uproot and move to be with her parents 120 miles away, making it very hard to see my son.

I honestly think the best way to deal with this kind of situation is to just understand and accept the legal system is very much in the Mothers favour, you will get screwed with every battle, so therefore just don't bother, bend over take what you have to and enjoy the time you will get to spend with your daughter.

Oh and to rub salt in the wound expect to lose 15% of your take home pay to.

 

Sorry I aint got any legal advice, all I will say is amicable splits are very rare no matter how hard you try, and as said before she holds a lot of the cards, so all you can do is try and do the best for you and your daughter

lets not tar all wimmins with the same brush tho, my mum is great all the rest are nutters

 

Sounds familiar mate. Try to keep things sweet for your daughters sake and so that you can see her regularly. The bitter sex really show their true colours when things go sour. Good luck mate and I hope things work out ok.

 

think you will find even if the house is sold , she will be intitled to more of the profit than you , so dont expect a 50 50 split

 

Not in the case of long term relationships, it will be a 50/50 split.

 

330% mark up in 4 months ?

 

Spot on as there is a child involved,I went through this about 10 years ago and trust me theres not much good news for you im afraid,as for kids you have legal rights but in the real world you have none.Think very carefully before you get a brief involved as this will fan the fire and make things worse.In my case my ex left me for a troll and i still dont know why as she couldnt have found anyone better than me lol but i didnt see my kids for a year even though the courts gave me access.My only advice is smile and be pleasant to her and when you get home kick the cat or something.Hang in there things will get better, when i see the ex now i grunt to her so things are a lot better.Ps you b"tch if your reading this sorry you didnt get £100,000 from MY house buts thats life.

 

cheers guys.

i didnt think it would end up in my favour.

She keeps saying that i am making her homeless etc, yet she is the one choosing to leave the house.

Will that stand in my favour? or does it not make the slightest bit of difference?

 

prob no difference,when it come down to the house the law is the law,all you can do is try to keep her sweet and dont give her any ammunition where your kids involved.My ex got bitter when she found out she couldnt touch my house,so i paid in other ways ie the kids,so hopefully things will blow over for you a lot quicker.

 

I suggest speaking to a solicitor, so they can confirm to you about the 50/50 split.

Her leaving will not make the slightest bit of difference, it is a property with a value (hopefully). The value will be equally owned by each party, and will be shared out as such.

When you say "will it stand in my favour", in your favour with who exactly?

 

Was this following a breakdown of a marriage, or a long term relationship?

 

You guys crack me up..... Does everyone REALLY believe its always the womans fault ?
It takes two to make AND break a relationship..... and to be fair to her.... shes just looking out for her and the kids future....Some men need to stop eating Lemons for breakfast

 

When I split with my ex, I couldn't get MY deposit back as they said it was in the equity of the house and had to be split 50/50. Yes, I am a woman and I paid the deposit for our first house. Shocking!

 

again thanks for the comments.

i am not trying to make out i am blameless, as you say, a relationship is a two way thing, and evidently for whatever reasons we are no longer happy together.

And i am sure many women can deal with things and sort things out like grown ups.

Plus i am not trying to take her to the cleaners or anything like that, just after a bit of advice as to what i can expect to get back out of what i have put into it. If in the laws eyes its **** all, then so be it, i just rather have an idea than going in blind!!

And my daughter is at the top of the list for safety and security. I would never see her go without. I just wish her mother would stop trying to play games!

 

cant help much but all you can do is follow your lawyers advise on it. Courts do favour women for custody etc in these sorts of situations. Hope you get it sorted.

and remember if its got t1ts or wheels it will cause you trouble!

 

8 year relationship,as for the house i owned that before i met her.I agree with the above comments about falult lying on both sides and nobodys blameless,my problem is when the children get used as a lever to force a situation in favor of lets face it the mother the majority of time.This said this is hopefully not the case in a lot of cases,but it certainly was in mine.