Idiot Sightings
28 November 2009, 11:46 AM
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Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING #1
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a Twenty pence piece She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said,'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.------ Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING #2
We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'------- We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park ,Nr Watford UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #3
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Departmentto request the removal of the DEER CROSSING signon our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'------- Story from Potters Bar , Herts , UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #4
My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.------- From South Oxhey Herts , UK ...
IDIOT SIGHTING #5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'------- Happened Luton Airport .... UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #6
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'------ She is a Local County Counciller employee in Harrow , Middlesex , UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #7
When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'------- This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans,Hertfordshire UK .
STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and the scary part is that is they have the RIGHT TO VOTE and REPRODUCE!!!
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a Twenty pence piece She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said,'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.------ Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING #2
We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'------- We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park ,Nr Watford UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #3
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Departmentto request the removal of the DEER CROSSING signon our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'------- Story from Potters Bar , Herts , UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #4
My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.------- From South Oxhey Herts , UK ...
IDIOT SIGHTING #5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'------- Happened Luton Airport .... UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #6
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'------ She is a Local County Counciller employee in Harrow , Middlesex , UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #7
When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'------- This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans,Hertfordshire UK .
STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and the scary part is that is they have the RIGHT TO VOTE and REPRODUCE!!!
at #1.
28 November 2009, 08:00 PM
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I lent over the garden wall and neighbour was digging holes. And he looked upset.
He told me his dog had died and he was burying him in the garden. Sorry to hear that I said but why have you dug three holes?
"Cos the first two weren't big enough", he replied.
He told me his dog had died and he was burying him in the garden. Sorry to hear that I said but why have you dug three holes?
"Cos the first two weren't big enough", he replied.
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29 November 2009, 08:02 AM
#11
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True story...
As a young engineer, I was working on a large construction site in a deep storage pit filled with pipework, tanks etc.
The site foreman, a Mr. McGinniss (as Irish as they come and a real nice guy), shouted down from above into the gloom "How many of ye are working down there?". The shout went back up "seven!"
There was a short pause.....and then "Well half of yous come up, I've got another job for you".
As a young engineer, I was working on a large construction site in a deep storage pit filled with pipework, tanks etc.
The site foreman, a Mr. McGinniss (as Irish as they come and a real nice guy), shouted down from above into the gloom "How many of ye are working down there?". The shout went back up "seven!"
There was a short pause.....and then "Well half of yous come up, I've got another job for you".
30 November 2009, 11:36 AM
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I think some of them are adapted from Yank the 'lady you need a 1/4 horsepower' is a very US turn of phrase.
Still like the first one though and the 3 holes for the dog is class.
5t.
Still like the first one though and the 3 holes for the dog is class.
5t.
01 December 2009, 11:14 AM
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Another one 4 u.
Me and my old dad used to go to a snooker club in greenwich every wednesday. One night, the blonde barmaid was moaning that it was unfair that George the boss was a mason but women couldn't be masons. When I told her they could, hadn't she heard of maisonettes, she believed me! thought I'd have to take my old man to the hospital, he was crying with laughter that hard!
Me and my old dad used to go to a snooker club in greenwich every wednesday. One night, the blonde barmaid was moaning that it was unfair that George the boss was a mason but women couldn't be masons. When I told her they could, hadn't she heard of maisonettes, she believed me! thought I'd have to take my old man to the hospital, he was crying with laughter that hard!
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