KevPage

My 16 year old daughter has just moved in with me and doesn't help at all around the house. What do your teenagers do? Do you give them a rota and cash incentives to help out? Am I wrong to expect my daughter to pull her wait and clean up, do the washing, etc

I'm not used to teeangers so not sure what the norm is these days!?!?

Coffin Dodger

Hmmm, when I was that age I got my first Saturday job at the supermarket so was pretty much self sufficient from a cash perspective (for a teenagers needs that is).

Despite that I'm fairly sure I did my share of washing up etc. Luckily though my old dear was obsessed with keeping the house clean so kind of left her to it on that front. Always around to help my Dad with garden projects and so on.

hodgy0_2

yes they should

especially if they have created the mess in the first place

My 12 year old daughter is actually pretty helpfull -- I have a 6 year old daughter who is useless

I am always on at my wife to insist they do their fair share

fivetide

iTrader: (1)

Without wanting to be too nosey - why has she moved in with you?

If you are doing her a favour then you need to lay down some rules. If she wants to live there then she needs to stick to them.

No need to go mad, just make the point that she needs to pull her weight... 'I'm disappointed' and a bit of a guilt trip is potentially the way to go rather than a heavy handed approach.

5t.

tanyatriangles

iTrader: (2)

A SIX year old? Awwwwwwwwwwwww

She's not old enough to handle a hoover yet, poor mite

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

wow brave man .. moving a 16 year old in .. in fact not any 16 year old but your daughter ...

hodgy0_2

well i asked her to tidy up some lego - would have taken her 5 mins

I sat down to help her, and she went on this ramble about how she couldn't do it, we talked for (and I am not joking here) 20 mins, about how she should do it, in the end i caved in and scooped the lot up - in less than mins

she seem pathologically incapable of clearing up -- but she is absolutely gorgeous, she's called Gala and I call her "the geester"

bigsinky

i was working on Saturdays at 12 years old in a butchers shop. just cleaning and tidying up. £6 a day, for a computer i wanted. came home and gave my dad the £6. i was taught the value of money an how to appreciate thing you have worked for. my sister was the same and even now she is well, she still looks after her money.

tell her if she wants to eat and stay warm, wash and be clean she is going to have to contribute. do you get anything for her? e.g WFTC, maintenance, if not then she must pull her weight.

David Lock

Well I needed a laugh at the end of a shi,tty day

My daughter wasn't too bad and did offer to help. My son will willingly say yes but then forget. But his mother spoils him and ignores my pleas to kick his **** so he will learn. But I think most mums are like that

As a kid I helped quite a bit but then we didn't have dishwashers and many modern gadgets to make life easier.

Good luck but avoid the big rows!! D

MJW

My 18 year old stepdaughter recently moved in with me & its great - she does all the laundry & keeps the place tidy. Mind you I did bring her up to pull her weight round the house so I guess it must've paid off.

bioforger

iTrader: (1)

wtf. She's living under your roof. Therefore she follows your rules and as for tidying up/helping out, she shouldn't have to be asked to do it imo. If she does, then make sure she does do it, or alternatively ask her to live somewhere else. Or you could just ignore the issue and let her run completely off the rails

PovK1

Most teenagers do Sweet FA around the house. Your best bet is just to get her to the the odd bits and bobs to begin with and go from there.

David Lock

Correct

d

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

Teenagers probably don't like to do alot round the house, but it's about encouraging her to do it to do her bit, rather than risking pushing her away (don't know the story as to why she's there).

At about 15 I didn't like doing stuff around the house, was too bust wanting to do my own thing coupled with loads of arguements about why should I help more than I did when my dad did nothing that way on.

Once that few months or so were over, I quickly realised without any real prompting that, that attitude didn't help my Mam (we were and are still close). I then took on alot more to help her out (I'd always helped a bit) and continued that through uni etc. Taking on even more once they split up and it was just us and she was struggling to cope.

She is only young, but you need to set some boundries, start small even. Just make her understand everyone has to do their bit. If she sees everyone else pulling their weight it should be easier. Her being there creates more mess etc, so she needs to help out... simple.

gpssti4

iTrader: (6)

My stepson is now 18 and has been living with me for 2 years. He's hard work at best. He won't help around the house unless forced to. There have been many rows over his laziness, which include him saying 'later' every time I ask him to do something.
He works 3-4 hours a day 6 days a week as a cleaner at Tesco, he has no life outside of his PC/PS3. I've tried to get him to go out and get some friends/girlfriend but he can't be bothered. So, the solution we've come up with is to send him off to Brazil for 6 months - to stay with his grandparents. Hopefully he'll see what he has here and try a bit harder when/if he comes back.
Things he's done to get out of work include: breaking the lawnmower so he can't cut the grass, going for a shower when asked to load/unload the dishwasher, threatening to smash the house up when told he was having Internet privileges removed for not doing his chores (blood was nearly spilt), saying 'later' every time he's asked to do something.

baz1972

my boy is 13 and is expected to help around the house, does jobs for his pocket money, if he doesn't do his jobs then no pocket money, mtook a couple of weeks until he got used to it, but now knows it his choice, I personally think this also helps him to get a understanding and value of money, that things are just 'given'. he mainly does the dusting, and sometimes the hoovering.

TopBanana

It sounds like princess syndrome. Gorgeous she may be, but you need to knock that on the head before someone else has to deal with it!

jasey

You have a chance moulding a 6 year old into a decent human being.

If by the time they get to 16 they're spoilt lazy gits - you're fcuked !

Leslie

Give her the option of doing her fair share of work in the house, or finding somewhere else to live!

Les

hodgy0_2

bit harsh les she is only 6

actually in all other respects she is the best behaved of the lot (no 3 of 5)

and was the best baby by a country mile

tidying up is just her achilles heal

Leslie

I was addressing Kev Page the OP, his daughter is 16!

Les

[-(o)-]

iTrader: (1)

Entirely depends upon the kid really. Make sure the rules are clear and if they're followed then relax them (i.e. encourage responsibility).

Our 14 yr old has the ability to destroy a tidy room in seconds yet always does her fair share of jobs and is generally helpful. Our 12 yr old is driving me nutty, completely obsessed with with herself but has no concept of the rest of us in the house. Takes so much effort to get her to start anything and then constant 'encouragement' to get her to finish it in at least twice the time it would take anyone else. Difficult too because shes just at that age now where shouting at her is only going to make things worse.

Ultimately we reap what we sow. Good luck.

hodgy0_2

i know

MJW

There's absolutely no reason whatsoever to put up with that kind of crap from anyone. Don't let him get away with it, follow through your threats or they're meaningless. At the first sign of dissent I'd pull the fuse from the router for 3 days !!!