SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
General George S. Patton


"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
Norman Schwartzkopf


"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
Marge Simpson


"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
Jacques Chirac, President of France


"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
Regis Philbin


"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona


"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
David Letterman


"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
Ted Nugent


"War without France would be like... World War II."
Unknown


"The favourite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says
'First Iraq , then France.""
Tom Brokaw


"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the *****?"
Dennis Miller


"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
Alan Kent



"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qaida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
Argus Hamilton


"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day - the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
Rep. Roy Blunt, MO


"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq.""
Dennis Miller


Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 messieurs?


"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
Rep. R. Blount, MO


"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv


"The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed
France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.


French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris, March 5, 2003
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris , caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

subaruturbo_18

*lolz*

The Zohan

There is a certain irony that France tells the EU where to go if it does not like their rules or regulations and only adopts those it chooses to where as the UK submits to everything and anything even to the detrement of its own people.

la botte est sur l'autre pied these days

Leslie

As Paul says, they are very good at getting more cash out of the Eu than any other country in the constitution, and if it does not like an Eu regulation they just ignore it.

Will we ever find another British politician with the guts to stand up for this country, or are they all too anxious to get a sinecure in the Eu for scads of money to say anything for the good of their own country?

Les

Will

You forgot the French Army tank that was for sale on E-bay: '' Never used, mint condition. Has 1 forward gear and 5 reverse gears''

CrisPDuk

Funny how most of those comments are from jingoistic fcukwit Americans who were bitter about the French refusing to endorse George, Dick & Don's oil grabbing escapades in Iraq

If only we had political leaders with spines

hodgy0_2

lots of French resistance fighters died in WW2 -- most were tortured but all played a crucial part in the Allied invasion of France -- inc the french railway workers who often sent German troop trains in totally the opposite direction -- and were shot if caught.

also the french lost many more men in the first world war than either the British or the Americans (army and civilians)

in fact Operation Overlord (D-DAY) saw 15,000 french civilians bombed and killed by Allied planes

in WW2 it was a fact that When the Germans fired the English ducked when the English fied the Germans ducked and when the Americans fired - everyone ducked

hodgy0_2

but you are right off course-- in general they are cheese eating surrender monkeys

The Zohan

LOL!, not heard that before, still true today about the yanks anyway.

Also let's not forget Vichy France!

stilover

Is she a cousin of Vicky Pollard?

g7prs

iTrader: (5)

Did you know they build car gearboxes different to the rest of us?










They have one forward gear and five reverse

Turbo2

The French were dead right on that one (like a lot of other EU countries). There was proven to be more chance of finding truffles in Iraq than the long-forgotten WMD, so I dare say that there are plenty more French jokes about George and Bliar on that topic.

Having said all that, what would we and the French have done without US involvment in WW2. There's no denying their vital rôle in the outcome of that one, no matter how late they left it to finally get stuck in!

Trout

iTrader: (1)

Ahem - so did the Germans that why 911s and Beetles had their engines in the wrong way around

Nimbus

Over 200 years ago the French army were marching through a sizeable part of Europe and beyond and were considered one of the best in the world. Their navy was no slouch either.

dpb

Not been part of their philosphy since Rousseau - well aprt for that little corsican upstart

Janspeed

iTrader: (1)

Great stuff!

Janspeed

iTrader: (1)

Yeah but their Tanks only have two gears..........

Neutral and Reverse!!

tanyatriangles

iTrader: (2)

Absloutely.

I travel widely in France: every little village has it's war memorial, most are VERY well filled, and if you care to examine them, you will find that quite a few have whole families on them.

In the second world war, the french were let down by the Belgians, who refused to extend the Maginot line through Belgium, so the Germans went ROUND the French part. The French army was like ours at the time, run down, under equipped etc etc, and in no shape to fight the Germans.

The then French government did right to surrender under those conditions, in order to save widespread bloodhsed and the inevitable massacre of it's army, and the destruction, once again, or wide swathes of their country.

The Americans have nowt to crow about. To my knowledge they have yet to win a war we didn't help them in

ScoobyWon't

Look at the state of things now after we got off to such a promising start

markr1963

I'd leave it at that Unless Grenada counts, of course

Janspeed

iTrader: (1)

Dont think the Cubans made it out to be a war (before anyone gets all freaky, do some research).........

The Zohan

Seem to remember that they kicked our asses and won - Boston tea party and independance ring any bells?

The Zohan

Seem to remember that they kicked our asses and won - Boston tea party and independance ring any bells?

Re the maginot line - a great idea if your next war was going to be static and the trench type warfare of WW1 , the Germans just flew/drove over it pretty much regardless of it and even if it had 'joined' Belguim it would have slowed the German advance a little, not a lot.

CrisPDuk

You seem to remember Christ Paul you must be nearly as old as Pete Lewis


Your memory is faulty by the way, the Americans received considerable assistance from, irony of ironies, the French during the War of Independence

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

But we still contributed to the Boston tea party and the war of independence I mean, without our participation, how could they have won

hodgy0_2

we also contributed by our totally outmoded military tactics -- often snatching defeat from the jaws of victory