Kylie Joke...
05 March 2002, 04:55 PM
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A passenger plane travelling to California is suddenly hit with a severe
engine problem and plummets into the Pacific Ocean. The impact is Such
that
the plane is ripped apart leaving only one man alive. After hours of
swimming he spies an island and drags himself up onto the sandy shores.
Though he is half drowned and aware that he is thousands of miles from
home,
he cannot but admire the beauty of the island he has found himself on.
Looking down the beach he sees a figure lying on the beach, another
survivor
from the crash.
He runs over and sees that she is not breathing, so quickly he gives her
the
kiss of life. After several attempts she coughs into life. As she wipes the
hair from her face he now can see who it is...its Kylie Minogue.
Forever grateful to him for saving her life, they strike up an immediate
bond, and over the following weeks, while stranded on the island, they fall
madly in love. One day Kylie is walking down the beach and notices her new
found love sitting on the rocks by the beach, staring out to sea, with a
look of sorrow on his face.
She wanders over to him, and asks what is wrong. "Kylie," he says, "The
last few weeks have been the greatest of my life. We've found this island
paradise. We have all the food and water we could require, and I have you,
but still I can't help feel there's something missing." Kylie replies:
"What
my darling? What is it that you need? I'll do anything".
"Well there is one thing. Would you mind putting on my shirt?" "OK" "And
my
trousers?" "OK"
At this point he gets up and grabs some charcoal from the ground, and draws
a neat moustache on her lips. "OK... Can you start to walk around the
island, and I'll set off the other way and meet you half way."
"OK dear, whatever will make you happy?"
So off they set. After an hour walking he eventually sees her heading
towards him along the beach, at which point he breaks into a sprint, runs
up
to her, grabs her by the shoulders and shouts: "Hey mate, you won't believe
who I'm ********'!!
engine problem and plummets into the Pacific Ocean. The impact is Such
that
the plane is ripped apart leaving only one man alive. After hours of
swimming he spies an island and drags himself up onto the sandy shores.
Though he is half drowned and aware that he is thousands of miles from
home,
he cannot but admire the beauty of the island he has found himself on.
Looking down the beach he sees a figure lying on the beach, another
survivor
from the crash.
He runs over and sees that she is not breathing, so quickly he gives her
the
kiss of life. After several attempts she coughs into life. As she wipes the
hair from her face he now can see who it is...its Kylie Minogue.
Forever grateful to him for saving her life, they strike up an immediate
bond, and over the following weeks, while stranded on the island, they fall
madly in love. One day Kylie is walking down the beach and notices her new
found love sitting on the rocks by the beach, staring out to sea, with a
look of sorrow on his face.
She wanders over to him, and asks what is wrong. "Kylie," he says, "The
last few weeks have been the greatest of my life. We've found this island
paradise. We have all the food and water we could require, and I have you,
but still I can't help feel there's something missing." Kylie replies:
"What
my darling? What is it that you need? I'll do anything".
"Well there is one thing. Would you mind putting on my shirt?" "OK" "And
my
trousers?" "OK"
At this point he gets up and grabs some charcoal from the ground, and draws
a neat moustache on her lips. "OK... Can you start to walk around the
island, and I'll set off the other way and meet you half way."
"OK dear, whatever will make you happy?"
So off they set. After an hour walking he eventually sees her heading
towards him along the beach, at which point he breaks into a sprint, runs
up
to her, grabs her by the shoulders and shouts: "Hey mate, you won't believe
who I'm ********'!!
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06 March 2002, 01:28 PM
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A man has been shipwrecked on a island for 17 years.
he has built many woodpiles to light should he ever see a ship
Many times he has lit them but the ship failed to notice.
One day he is walking along the beach,when he sees a ship coming towards him. he runs up a hill to a log pile and lights it. Amazed,after 10. minites he notices the ship stoping.
The Captain calls his officers and arranges for a dingy to go and investigate the smoke. A female officer goes with a couple of sailors.
As they get towards the shore they notice the man waving running down the hill.
The female officer tells the sailors to wait and jumps out of the dingy and walks towards the man.
She asks him the usual questions!!! "How long have you been here " etc. Afeter 1/2 an hour he asks if he can collect a few of his things before they leave. The officer notices that despite the fact the man has been on the Island for such a long time he looks well and fit.In many ways she fancies him. She starts to think, about the fact that the man could not have had sex during this time and must be realy dying for it. She starts to ask him about if he missed having sex. he said "come with me and I will show you something".. they walked into the bushes. he showed her a tree stub with a small hole in it. She asks what it is. He replies that he sticks his dick in it and has his fun everyday!!
She finds it all a bit of a turn on... and asks him if he would like to have sex with her. he replies yes. She strips off and lays down on the ground. The man walks back a bit. He tells her to open her legs. He runs up and kicks her right in the C*** !!. She jumps up screaming and going mad!!! "What did you do that for???" she asks.
" I always do that first" he says "Gets rid of the ants"!!!!!
[Edited by Luke - 3/6/2002 5:39:50 PM]
he has built many woodpiles to light should he ever see a ship
Many times he has lit them but the ship failed to notice.
One day he is walking along the beach,when he sees a ship coming towards him. he runs up a hill to a log pile and lights it. Amazed,after 10. minites he notices the ship stoping.
The Captain calls his officers and arranges for a dingy to go and investigate the smoke. A female officer goes with a couple of sailors.
As they get towards the shore they notice the man waving running down the hill.
The female officer tells the sailors to wait and jumps out of the dingy and walks towards the man.
She asks him the usual questions!!! "How long have you been here " etc. Afeter 1/2 an hour he asks if he can collect a few of his things before they leave. The officer notices that despite the fact the man has been on the Island for such a long time he looks well and fit.In many ways she fancies him. She starts to think, about the fact that the man could not have had sex during this time and must be realy dying for it. She starts to ask him about if he missed having sex. he said "come with me and I will show you something".. they walked into the bushes. he showed her a tree stub with a small hole in it. She asks what it is. He replies that he sticks his dick in it and has his fun everyday!!
She finds it all a bit of a turn on... and asks him if he would like to have sex with her. he replies yes. She strips off and lays down on the ground. The man walks back a bit. He tells her to open her legs. He runs up and kicks her right in the C*** !!. She jumps up screaming and going mad!!! "What did you do that for???" she asks.
" I always do that first" he says "Gets rid of the ants"!!!!!
[Edited by Luke - 3/6/2002 5:39:50 PM]
07 March 2002, 12:39 PM
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Luke
Stop laughing at your own jokes
The Kylie one is joke of the year at the mo LOL
confirmed in the pub last night LOL can't stop smiling even now
Justin
Stop laughing at your own jokes
The Kylie one is joke of the year at the mo LOL
confirmed in the pub last night LOL can't stop smiling even now Justin
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matt.bowey
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05 September 2002 10:54 PM