Why God made Mums ?
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Joined: Mar 2003
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From: In the Doghouse
Why God made Mums ?
In readiness for Mothers Day
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following
questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just
used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and
everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from mens' bones. Then they
mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mum?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's Mums
like me.
What kind of little girl was your Mum?
1. My Mum has always been my Mum and none of that other
stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would
be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mum need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does
he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs
and YES to chores?
Why did your Mum marry your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum
eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My Grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because
Dad's such an idiot.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff
under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do
than Dad.
What's the difference between Mums & Dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home and Dads just go to
work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Mums have all the real
power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep
over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without
medicine.
What does your Mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her talk, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think
some kind of plastic surgery.
2. You know, her hair. I'd die it, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it
be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.
I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my
sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on
the back of her head.
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following
questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just
used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and
everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from mens' bones. Then they
mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mum?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's Mums
like me.
What kind of little girl was your Mum?
1. My Mum has always been my Mum and none of that other
stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would
be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mum need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does
he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs
and YES to chores?
Why did your Mum marry your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum
eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My Grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because
Dad's such an idiot.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff
under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do
than Dad.
What's the difference between Mums & Dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home and Dads just go to
work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Mums have all the real
power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep
over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without
medicine.
What does your Mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her talk, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think
some kind of plastic surgery.
2. You know, her hair. I'd die it, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it
be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.
I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my
sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on
the back of her head.
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