Dan W

I was out in the Impreza the other evening with my ex girlfriend and her 6-year old boy. We were heading into Cardiff for the evening in very heavy traffic. The road we were on merged from 2 lanes into 1 and the cars in front were merging in turn. When it came to my turn to merge with the car on my left the guy was not willing to let me in. We were running out of room at the point so he wound his window down and banged on the car. The guy was about mid 40s (I am mid 30s)

I ended up calling him a w--anchor so he shot in front of me about 30 ft down the road and jumped out and ran up to my door. I thought he was going to kick off so I got ready to jump out.

When he got to my now open drivers door he banged on the car again and said something like 'who are you calling a w--anchor'

I lost it at that point and said that 'if I get out of the car I take your head off'

he laughed at me so I said it again to which he said 'lets take it around the corner then'. He ran back to his car and sped into the next side street.

I look at my ex - she's in tears, the nipper however is unphased. He been doing martial arts since he was 3 so is'nt vexed by argy bargy.

I had a now completely empty road ahead of me so I just drove off. Seen nothing more of the guy.

The ex calmed down and a good evening was had by all.


Over the last few days I have reflected on what happened and a huge amount of anxiety has crept over me.

I am no push over but realise that the guy was out of his car and banging on my car before I had bearly time to react.

It got me thinking, what if he had a knife, or even a gun.

Some might say that I shouldn't have called him a w --anchor. Fair enough.
He shouldn't have banged on the car.

But running up to my door and banging it when I got a female and 6 year old in the car is out of order.

If I had got out one of us would have been sparked out on the road in front of hundreds of cars.

I can't say who is at fault here as some might say I ought to have let him go in front in the first place. But why did he have to be arsey about cars merging.

I feel quite unsettled which is odd because argy bargy doesn't usually do this to me. But I guess I'm getting old enough and ugly enough to recognise consequences.


Just thought I would share this with you all. Comment at will.

Scooby Snacks 23

Sorry to hear of your tale of woe - IMHO, I think you did the right thing by driving away, especially when you had a child in the car

Wel done for not rising to it cos as you say, he may have been armed.

I have two young kids and there's no way my wife would have let me pulled into that side-street - you just never know.

Here's one I had (in my old user name).

Road Rage Incident - Advice Required [Archive] - ScoobyNet

Flatcapdriver

You're hardly the victim are you? If you were so concerned about your family then why antagonise the bloke in the first place and then come whinging on here about it?

Matteeboy

There's a massive difference between giving a sign when someone drives like a t1t and doing what the guy did.
Presumably anyone expresses displeasure at any time should just take it then?
Flatcap - you have a very unrealistic view of life. Do you actually ever go outside into the big wide world?

SteveScooby

iTrader: (2)

The whole incident could of been easily been avoided by you not reacting and pulling in behind him.

As above your hardly a victim, i'd say 40% of the blame is yours

Dan W

Accepted

Dan W

Accepted also

SteveScooby

iTrader: (2)

Good on you for driving away though

Dan W

I don't expect everyone to agree or sympathise with me.

I am happy to attracted criticism. I just thought it was worth sharing with you.

As I said I think I am partially to blame but the guy went way over the top.

fatscoobfella1

iTrader: (1)

Round my way,you would be called a sh!thouse

Dan W

Thanks Steve

DCI Gene Hunt

I like the "let's take it round the corner" ........ or was that a homosexual reference

In a nutshell you did the wrong thing, then the right thing.... so the balance is restored

Dan W

Dan W

Sounds about right Gene

RJM25R

iTrader: (1)

Agreed. I read your post with interest. Sometimes we react, but you restored your balance by driving away.

Good for you

Flatcapdriver

Then I suggest for a dose of realism that you re-read the original post and substitute your 'giving someone a sign' for what he actually wrote which was:

" I ended up calling him a w--anchor"

" I lost it at that point and said that 'if I get out of the car I take your head off"

... followed by some other choice phrases that suggest he's quite used to confrontation such as...

"the nipper however is unphased (sic). He been doing martial arts since he was 3 so is'nt vexed by argy bargy"

" I feel quite unsettled which is odd because argy bargy doesn't usually do this to me".

All of which points to the OP having actively participated in ratcheting the situation up when he could have simply shrugged his shoulders when merging and let the other bloke get on with it. I suspect that he was probably pushing in front of the other driver if, as he says, the other bloke was close enough to bang his car with his fist.

If he hadn't reacted in any shape or form, then I'd be more sympathetic but because he did react then he has to accept a fair share of the blame. As it was, he was probably either too scared/or realised that it wasn't worth taking the situation any further.

So, I suggest that you try to look at things from all perspectives before you take lame pot shots at other posters or you'll make yourself as unpopular as you were earlier in the year when you flounced off vowing never to return.

SunnySideUp

Driving away is harder than driving round the corner for a 'chat', well done. I cannot say I would have done the same thing in all honesty.

Dan W

I can't disagree. So can only say that where i come from which is a hard nosed welsh mining valley town argy bargy is a way of life. Literally.

I don't go about giving it but have had to handle enough of it in my time hence used to it and unphased. That's why the nipper is in 'training'.

Yes I called him a wnaker - he banged the car.

But he ratched up the situation by exiting his vehicle, approaching mine and banging it again. All I did was warn him that if i got out I would also kick off.

I'm not suggesting I am blameless. Just stupid.

Matteeboy

Flatcap - but of course SN is a popularity contest.
Do you honestly think I'd write what I post up if I was trying to be popular?

In fact maybe you'd like a little poll to see who is the most popular of all?

Just like some others here, I couldn't give two tosses whether I'm liked or not. I come here for good information and some decent debate - something very few website forums actually have. If someone gets upset, so what?

I think Dan did the right thing and PM'd him as similar happened to me a while ago. If someone is lame enough jump out of their car when insulted, they are clearly unstable. However Dan probably felt his family were threatened (to me dangerous driving is as bad if not worse than actually attacking someone - as you can end up dead, not just bruised) so reacted to it. As would I.

Someone cuts in or tailgates - they may as well be threatening my family. Personal insults are of no interest and get brushed away. Threats to family however get treated very very seriously. People seem to forget the risks of driving dangerously - they are enormous.

jaytc2003

iTrader: (1)

as usual 2 sides rule applies. How often do people shoot up on the outside when lanes are merging to force their way in?

You did the right thing though in driving off, better than being another "statistic"

Flatcapdriver

Dan. Fair enough, you've accepted your fair share of the blame but there's a fine line between taking it and dishing it out particularly in the current climate where a lot of people refuse to take responsibility for their actions and will automatically blame others.

For example, if you'd got out and pasted the bloke its not inconceivable for him to have gone to the Police and accused you of assault for which you could have got a conviction. Its not right and its not fair but believe me, its happened in the past and it would make your life difficult with that on your record.

Dracoro

Thie victims in this case are the ex and the kid, not the OP or the other driver.

Dan W

Acutely aware of that. Much of my anxiety has been because they witnessed what happened and could have been witness to something much worse.

DCI Gene Hunt

*Dons jumper with elbow patches*

I don't have a family but if I did they would be the MOST important thing to me in the entire world.... so I would NEVER do anything that would put them (or me) at risk.... EVER

Why "me".... because it would be my job to look after them, provide for them and protect them.... and putting even myself at risk because some jerk-off gave me a ****** sign, banged on my car or confronted me just wouldn't happen, period.

Ladies.... call me, I'm available

Dan W

Thanks Flatcap.

What I should have made explicit in the original post is that I don't expect people to automatically side with me.

I know some people who are very good at avoiding confrontation. I sometimes wish I was like that.

But Like Matt says above - you gotta draw a line in the sand somewhere.

Flatcapdriver

Nice evasion of the points I made, but please don't turn this into yet another thread about you, its about Dan and the way he reacted not about Matteeboy and his general all round heroism.

Being tailgated is not a threat to your family and does not need to be treated 'very, very seriously' because if you're that worried about it then simply move over and let them past. If you're that serious about protecting your family then simply remove them from the perceived threat, not react to it in an attempt to bolster your ego.

Dan seems to have understood the point. Why can't you?

Dan W

I'm intersted why none of you have asked why I knock about with my ex.
We make crap partners but ok friends. Her little boy is a diamond.

DCI Gene Hunt

It's not that unusual is it?.... post up a few pics if you require a more detailed appraisal

Dan W

I guess its not that unusual. No pics at hand I'm afraid.

Matteeboy

Flatcap - how the hell do you move out of the way on a single lane road?
Your posts suggest you condone bad driving yet are quite happy to put down anyone that reacts to being threatened.

A tailgating car is likely to crash into the back of you - there is never ever any need. Especially when you know you have much better brakes than the tailgater. You can not always move out of the way - if I can, I do.

I think Dan seems very together and this is not about me - it's about a situation and how people react.

Now jump off your high horse and try living in the real world.